"I'm not taking my bandages off." Carl mumbled. He was red cheeks and panting. They had been making out for a little while, Negan still fully clothed while Carl was naked. "It's not hot. I don't know why you want to see it." There was an edge in Carls voice. An edge that was fake. An edge that was meant to seem strong but only pointed out that he was weak. Afraid.
"Look-"
"No." Carl wrapped himself up in the sheets. "The one time you saw it was when I needed to be punished. This isn't a punishment. I'm not taking it off." He rolled onto his side, sighing. "Should've taken a photo when you had the chance."
"Carl." Negans fingers slid up Carls back. "I'm not..." He sighed. "God. Why can't you just listen to what I say?"
"Because I'm not your bitch." Carl moved away from his touch. "It's just some ugly fucking scar, Negan. Like the ones you have all over your back from fighting. You don't see me telling you to pull off your clothes and show me them."
"Thats different." Negan kissed the top of his head, curling an arm around his waist. Carl was hiding. He didn't do it much, but when he did he was an expert at it. "I just... listen. I'm not ashamed of my scars."
"And I'm ashamed of mine. It's gross and it's ugly and no one wants to see it. You're just a freak." Negan knew Carl wasn't calling him a freak. He was calling himself a freak. "It's not cool or sexy and I'm not showing you it." Carl swung his legs over the edge of the bed, grabbing his boxers, and sliding them on. "I'm going home."
"Kid." Negan sat up, climbing out of bed and walking to Carls side. "I'm not asking to punish you or to make fun of you or because I think it's hot-" Negan put his finger up. "And I do find it very hot, but I planned on keeping that to myself-"
"Shut up." Carls voice was a mix of anger and laughter. "You're just some weird old man with a socket fetish."
"And you were afraid of me making fun of you." Negan tilted Carls head up. "Look at me. Alright?"
Carl looked at him. His cheeks weren't as pink as they used to be but the rosy glow was still there. "I need to g-"
"I wasn't asking for any of that. I was asking you not to hide." He ran his thumb across Carls lips, pressing them back against his teeth. "Sex is about being open and real no matter how ugly it gets. I mean, come on. When it's over everyone's panting and sweating and it's gross. Sex is gross. But in a hot way."
"Great. Sounds fun." Carl pulled his pants up. "So, what I've learned today is that you have a socket fetish and sex isn't as nice as it sounds. It's sweaty and weird."
"Carl." Negan looked down at him. "I just don't want you hiding from me. You made me promise no secrets. You know about my old life and my socket fetish." He smiled. Carl didn't. "Just..." He reached up and his fingers grazed across the bandages. "Don't hide from me. Hide from your dad and all your people, but not from me."
Carl put his hand over the bandage, shaking his head. "They've already seen it. My dad... Michonne. They were there when it happened-"
"How come you can tell me you don't feel sorry for killing people but you can't show me this?" Negan looked at him with puppy eyes. They were tired and not as cute as an actual puppy, but they worked on Carl. Negan took his hand and pulled it away, kissing his knuckles. "Don't hide, sweetheart."
Carl pulled his hand away, harshly. He looked down as he began to unravel the bandages, gripping them so tight that his knuckles were white. "If you laugh, I will kill you." His hands were shaking. "If you tell me it's ugly, I will kill you-"
"Just let me see it." Negan tilted his head to the side. "Plus, calling it ugly and laughing isn't gonna happen a second time. Jokes stop being funny when you repeat them."
Carl shot him a glare. "And for a moment I believed you weren't an asshole."
Negan smiled. White teeth standing out against the dirt on his face. "Come on, kid, I thought you were smarter than that."
"Yeah," Nodding, Carl pulled the bandages away and laid them on the bed. He looked at Negan, moving the hair from his face. "I did too."
Negan fell silent, studying Carls face. Looking at the boy as he nervously glanced around the room, chewing on his already torn up lips. His socket was a fiery red, mixed with a darker red and scarred skin decorated the area around it. Negan reached out to touch him but Carl flinched away.
"Don't touch it." Carl breathed out. His chest was heaving, his nails digging into his jean clad legs. "Don't-"
Negan cupped Carls cheek, leaning up and kissing his forehead. Then kissing right above his socket. Then right below it. He pecked Carls lips, next, smiling when he pulled away. "You can still go home if you want. But I rather you be here."
Carl looked down within seconds, his hair falling over his eye. "I'm going home." He stood up, nudging past Negan. "And I'll take my bandages off every time we fool around as long as you promise not to... not to touch it."
Negan ran his tongue across his teeth. "Look, kid, I can't make promises I can't keep-"
"Negan." Carls voice wavered, but with the way the kid stood it showed that he was not backing down. "It's either this or nothing, so be smart. Use the few brain cells you have left."
"Someomes bitchy.." Negan smirked. "Fine." He pulled Carl into his chest and kissed the top of his head. "I promise... now get outta here before I change my mind."
