The sun was barely peeking out from behind the sky, pastel pinks and purples dancing over the clouds. Negan was still naked and tangled in the sheets, one arm draped across his face. He was snoring softly, but Carl didn't mind. In the beginning it annoyed the hell out of him, but now he found it endearing. Seeing Negan relaxed and calm was nice. Carl could spend hours watching him, letting he pinks and purples disappear then come back the next morning. But he couldn't. He had to get home.
Carl tied his shoes tight, brushing his hair behind his ear. Their romance seemed like a teenage love affair, the way they always had to see each other. Before last night, it had been four days since they had been together. Carl called over the walkie talkies and told Negan he was sneaking out, that he just needed to see him. Negan laughed at it and agreed, he knew Carl was coming one way or another. Not that Negan minded always having Carl around. The kid made him feel young again, sweaty palms and butterflies in his stomach, the whole nine yards.
"You tryna sneak out on me?" Negan rolled onto his side, biting his lip. He watched as Carl pulled on his pants, stumbling around. The kid always put his shoes on first, like he was planning on running away from something. Negan made fun of it a million times, easily. "Didn't realize we were back to how it was in the beginning?" He sat up some, looking around. "If you want an authentic walk of shame you have to leave a shoe behind."
"Shut up," Carl shrugged on his flannel. "I gotta go out wih my dad and stuff today. There was this boy I found and I wanna see if I can find him again." He fixed the collar, looking back at Negan. "He seemed afraid... I hope he doesn't think I'm trying to kill him. My dad shot at him so I think that sort of ruined any chances I had at bringing him back." He ran his fingers through his hair and looked in the mirror. "Shit, I gotta wrap my face."
"Kid, come on." Negan wrapped the blankets around himself as he sat up. "Look, it's his choice if he wants to survive. People are assholes, people are sick, take it from me I'm probably the biggest ass for miles. Let him figure out what he wants to do." He leaned over and took Carls arm, pulling him back. "He's not a kid and he's made it this long..."
Carl cupped Negans cheek, smiling. "People still deserve help. And it's lonely, not having anyone to talk to. I'm sure his group just got killed and he escaped and he needs someone." Carl cupped his other cheek and kissed him. "We're the Saviors, this is the Sanctuary, you pride yourself on saving people. You gotta understand where I'm coming from."
"I do, but you're still a kid, Carl." Negan pulled him down against the bed, wrapping an arm around his waist. "And people bigger and meaner could take you down. I'm not gonna let you just run out there and save a guy that could be dangerous. It's too risky-"
"But he wasn't dangerous. He was afraid, Negan. He was shaking and staring at me and he needs me. I'm gonna go out there and find him and help him because that's what I would want someone to do for me. Or for you. Or for anyone else. And if he's bad I got a gun." Carl looked over at his gun on the ground. "I can take care of myself."
"Even if he really wasn't dangerous yesterday, he could be today. He has a grudge now. After your dad shot at him who knows what he thinks?" Negan traced Carls hip bone with his finger. Part of him debated on handcuffing Carl to the bed and keeping him there until he got this dumb idea out of his head. Saving people was nice, but only when you know you're in control. "And what if he's crazy? Or just sick? I'm not letting you go."
"Negan," Carl picked up bandages, starting to wrap his face. "You don't own me. I'm going whether you like it or not. I can defend myself and... I can just see that he's not bad. Even if he is, maybe we can help them. Maybe he doesn't realize how bad he is. Humans do a lot of crazy stuff just to survive." He looked at Negan, continuing to wrap the bandages around his head. "Trust me on this, please."
Negan shook his head. "I got a bad feeling about this. I've seen how ugly the world gets, you've seen it too. Just stay here with me. It's safe. We don't have to save everyone." Carl disagreed. Nowadays Negan seemed to only focus on saving Carl, which was stupid, because Carl didn't need saving. "Carl, please... I can send people out and have them look for the guy. You can stay. You'll be safe-"
"I'm not sacrificing other people because you don't think I can handle myself." He tucked the bandages in and pulled his hair out from under it. Carl walked to the table and picked up his gun, stuffing it into his pants. "I'll be fine. I'll come back tomorrow and it'll all be okay. I've been shot twice, nothing's gonna stop me." He walked to the bed and leaned down, kissing Negan softly.
With one final attempt, Negan pulled Carl onto the bed, deepening the kiss. "Stay with me," He was begging. "Please, just come back to bed." He slipped his hands underneath his shirt. "Get undressed and come lay with me. We can wait, just..." He sighed. Negan always hated being the begging one. It made him weak. "Just come back to bed."
Carl smiled down at him. "I'll see you tomorrow. I love you." He pecked Negans lips and walked out of his room. Little did Negan know that as Carl walked out of the room, he was also walking out of his life.
