Rick parked his truck outside of the Sanctuary, climbing out. By the time he made it to the gate, Negan was standing behind it with a smirk. He handed his bat off to a man Rick had never seen before, stepping towards Rick. Rick cleared his throat and kept his eyes on Negan, studying each move he made.
"I'm not here to fight." Rick was the first to speak. "I'm here to... to give you something." He looked back over his shoulder at his truck. In the passenger seat sat Carl. He wasn't moving and there were bandages wrapped around his head, covering both eyes. "He shot his gun and the bullet exploded and got in his eye... he's blind. And you-" Rick laughed. "I can't believe I'm saying this but you make him feel better about his scars and stuff."
Negan pushed past Rick, yanking the door open. He scooped Carl into his arms and kicked the door shut. "Has an actual doctor seen him or just people doing first aid?" He walked past Rick without looking back. Carl was limp in his arms, chest rising and falling slowly.
"Just first aid. We saw it happen and we got him to the infirmary. They got most of the fragments out but his other eye... its not gone, like the first one, it's still there but it's torn up and useless." Rick walked up to the gates that were now closing in front of him. "If anything happens to him, please just... just tell me."
Negan knew Carls self esteem wasn't the only reason Rick brought him. Rick knew Negan had genius doctors and all the medicine he could think of needing. "Nothing bad will happen." Negan glanced over his shoulder at Rick. "He's safe now."
-
It took three days for Carl to wake up. Each day a doctor and a nurse would come into Negans room and clean his eye. There was an infection, it was pretty bad, not that it mattered. Fixing the infection wouldn't give Carl his sight back. They continued to keep the eye wrapped in bandages and it broke Negans heart. Carl would never get to see the stars he loved again. Carl would never get to aim a gun and shoot it. Carl would never see him again.
On the fourth day, Carls fingers curled around Negans hand. He had a chair leaning against the bed, his legs propped up against the end of the bed. Negan was asleep, it was late at night, but he refused to sleep in the bed with Carl. He didn't tell anyone but he feared hurting Carl. He didn't want to pull a bandage off or roll over and hit his eye. Sleeping in an uncomfortable chair beat the anxiety of hurting the boy even more.
Carl gripped Negans hand, taking a deep breath. "Hey.." He breathed out. "Negan, hey.." He pulled his hand away and slapped Nefans arm. "How long have I been out?" Carl had been unconscious so many times he learned what it felt like.
Negan jumped, leaning back into the chair. Wide eyed, Negan stared at him. Carl was awake. Talking. Touching. "Thank god... the doctors were starting to worry that you weren't going to wake up... you had been gone with Rick for three days and gone with me for three. So six... you've been out for six."
Carl laughed. Negan made sure to memorize it. To soak in the sound of it. It may be a long time until he heard Carl laugh again. "That's a record." He leaned back against the bed, sighing. "Your beds so comfortable."
"How did you know it was me?" Negan whispered, kissing Carls knuckles. "Did my memory foam remember you?" Carl slapped him, causing Negan to laughed. He prayed that this moment wouldn't end. That it could stay normal.
"You're such an idiot." Carl breathed out, shaking his head. "No. It smells like you. Leather and beer. And a little blood. It's kinda gross but..." Carl shrugged. "I like you so it's not surprising." It was Negans turn to hit him. "What time is it?"
Negan glanced at the clock that sat on the night stand. "It's 1:34 in the morning." He reached out and wrapped an arm around Carls waist, pulling him closer to the edge of the bed. The doctors told Negan to only hold his hand. They were afraid moving him would make it worse. "You should sleep-"
"What happened to me?" Carls breathing quickened, his heart racing. "Did I get bit?" He sat up only to have Negan push him back down. "Did I get hurt? Negan... what happened?"
"I should get the doctors." Negan mumbled. Now it was Carls turn to pull him back.
Carl gripped at him desperately. "What happened?" He whispered. "Please... just tell me..."
"A bullet flashed back and hit you in the head. You were out by the time your dad got to you." Negan had called Rick on day two demanding to know details. He said the doctors needed to know. They didn't. He did. "Then the wounds got infected."
"Great." Carls shaking hands reached up to touch the bandages on his face. "More scars. Not like I've got enough. Been shot twice. Now once by myself..." He shook his head, starting to unwrap the bandages that wrapped around both of his eyes. "I shouldn't be allowed to have guns."
When Negan tried to stop him, Carl slapped his hand away. The bandages fell to the side of Carls head as he shed each wrap. There had been a few layers, the doctors were very afraid of him getting another infection. It took a few minutes. Negan knew there wasn't too many bandages, Carl was just afraid to see his face. Negan was too.
"Turn the lights on." Carl mumbled as he pulled off the last bandage. "I want to see myself. I can't put it off forever." He pushed himself up and swung his legs over the edge of the bed, climbing off.
"Okay..." Negan reached over and turned a lamp on before reaching behind him and flipping the switch on. "There. All the lights are on."
Carl shook his head. "They aren't. Negan, now isn't the time to screw with me." He slapped Negans arm. "Turn the lights on."
"Carl..." Negan whispered. "I did. I turned them on. I promise." He reached out to touch Carl, pulling away when Carl jerked out of his grip.
"I..." Carl took a deep breath and touched his other eye, rubbing his finger over his eyelid. Surrounding his eye was a bunch of different scars from when all of the bullet parts hit his face. "Oh my god.." Carl fell back against the bed, sinking down to the floor. He rubbed his hand across his eye, shaking his head. "No..."
"I'm so sorry, kid... if we could've fixed it we would have. They could only get so much out and the stuff that was already in it was enough to... to blind you..." Negan didn't reach out for Carl this time. He kept his distance.
"I..." He shook his head again. "This isn't happening. This can't be happening. I have..." He put his hands over his face. "I have to fight, I have to protect people, I can't be... no..."
"It's okay, Carl. It'll be okay..." He reached out and guided Carls hand to the top of the bed. "You need to lay down and focus on breathing. You've gotten over this before."
"I didn't get over it. I stuttered with it because I had to. I had to be strong and keep fighting....and now..." Carl laid on the bed, facing the ceiling. "I have nothing to fight for."
"You have me." Negan mumbled, kissing Carls head. "You have me."
