Hi yes this one shot isnt a cegan fic Negan isnt even in it its just Carl being insecure about his eye
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"Carl?" Rick tapped on Carls door before opening it. The boy stood in front of a small mirror, hair tucked behind his ears. Both of his hands had bandages in them. "Sorry-"
Carl flinched away, moving his hair in front of his eye. He turned around, looking at his father. "What, dad?" His eye darted to the ground, studying the way his shoes looked on top of the clean white carpet. "I was..." He turned around and set the bandages on the table by his bed. "What do you want?" He tried to sound strong. Angry, even. But his voice wavered and his lip trembled.
Rick chose to ignore it. That's what he had been doing and it worked. Carl wasn't easy to talk to. The kid liked to push things down and away. Pretend that they weren't there. Ever since he lost his eye he'd been quiet. Barely leaving his room. Never leaving the house. The kid was upset. Rick was, too. He didn't know how to fix it. "I'm going out on a supply run."
Carl nodded, wrapping his arms around himself. His fingers pinched and bunched up the fabric of the shirt, pulling it away from Carls body. He gripped at the cloth as if he was holding on. "Okay. What does that have to do with me?"
Rick looked down at Judith, who was half asleep in his arms. "Michonne is coming with me and.." Carl had barely looked or talked to Judith lately. Like he was afraid of her seeing it. Afraid of her seeing her big brother weak. "Judith misses you. A lot. And you know you're the only one who can stop her from crying-"
"I dont hear her crying." Carl snapped. He still hadn't looked up at Rick. He was hiding. Behind his hair. Behind his arms. Behind the door and the four walls of this room. Rick was tired of seeing his boy hide.
"I need you to watch her. No one else. Just you." Rick smiled down at her. "You used to get mad when I left her with someone else. You replace her with some new girl? With Enid?" He teased.
Carl didn't smile or blush or even acknowledge what Rick had said. "Why can't you give her to someone else? Tara isn't busy. Olivia isn't either." He looked back at the bandages. "I need to wrap my face. Pleas-"
"Denise said your wound closed. That it's healthy to leave it unwrapped for a few days and let it breathe. The same way you do with a real bad cut." Rick stepped towards him, pulling Judith away from his chest. "Come on.."
Carl looked at the ground as Rick handed Judith to him. Within seconds Judiths arms were wrapped around his neck and she was snuggling into his chest. "I'll see you..." Carl whispered. "Be safe." He looked up at Rick for a few seconds. "And um.." He cleared his throat. "I uh... I love you, dad."
Rick smiled and reached out, cupping Carls cheek. He rubbed his thumb along Carls cheekbone, brushing some hair from his face. "I love you, son." Rick pulled away and turned around, walking out of Carls room, closing the door behind him.
Carl looked away from Judith, looking out his window. Everyone was going to their job, whether it be guard the gate or count the amount of food and guns they have. Judith reached up and tangled her hand in a few strands of Carls hair. She pulled on it, not too hard, but just enough to get his attention. It's what she always did.
"Judith." Carl sighed. He moved her hand away from his hair without looking. "You don't want my attention right now." He pulled her closer to his chest before turning around and looking at himself on the mirror.
Judith hummed, grabbing at Carls shirt, pulling herself up. "Car." She whined, wrapping her arms around his neck. She was just learning to talk, but she had yet to learn how to pronounce the letter "l".
"Carl." Carl replied, studying himself in the mirror. "You would probably cry if you saw me." He looked down, sighing. "I look like a monster, now. Like the things we kill." Carl looked down at Judith while she played with the collar of his shirt. "I don't want you to be afraid of me..."
Carl set Judith on the floor, picking up the bandages once more. He looked down at them, taking a deep breath. "Wrap them around then pull my hair out... don't try to pull my hair out of the way then wrap it." He held the bandages up to his face before wrapping the first wrap around. The continued to do so until only a small piece of bandage hung loosely.
"Up." Judith stood at his feet, holding her arms up. "Up! Up! Up!"
Carl sighed and picked her up, shaking his head. "You're so needy." He smiled. "I wonder who you got it from." He leaned down and kissed the top of her head, smiling against her hair.
Judith grabbed a hold of the bandage still hanging and pulled it as hard as she could. The bandages fell loose and she yanked again, causing each wrap around Carls head to fall loose before falling down to his shoulders. She stared at him, wide eyed.
Carl closed his eye, taking deep breaths. A million different scenarios filled his brain. Judith screaming and crying. Judith pushing at his chest to get away. Judith never looking at him again. Carl knelt down on the floor, looking down so his bangs fell across his socket once more.
Judith planted both of her feet on the ground, holding onto Carls shoulder to hold her up. She reached up and touched his cheek, gently, as if he was made of glass. She pushed the hair out of his face and traced her finger around the scarred skin.
Carl flinched away from her touch at first. "Jud-"
She ran her fingers across his cheek then back up to his forehead, tracing his socket again. She stood up on her toes and kissed his cheek, right underneath the scarring. "Owie."
Carl slowly blinked his eye open, looking at her. "What?" He breathed out. His shoulders relaxed and he fell back against his heels.
"You have a boo boo..." She whispered, stepping onto his thigh and kissing the scarred area near his forehead. "Kisses make them better..."
Carl smiled at her, tears welling up in his eye. "Yeah... kisses do make them better." He wrapped his arms around her and hugged her as gentle as he could. "They don't always go away, but they do make them better."
