As dinner was finished and forks were set down, the sun began to set. Throughout the room was a tense, uncomfortable silence that left Carl and Olivia anxious. Judith was okay, half asleep and curled up in Olivia's arms. Negan sat at the end of the table still, sipping from his glass of lemonade. He pushed himself away from the table and stood up, stretching his arms out and sighing.
"That dinner was delicious if I do say so myself." Negan spoke lightly, his voice happy. That was what made Negan so scary. He could seem so happy and human one minute then snap and be his real self. Cold. Hard. And vengeful. "Olivia, darling, could you take care of all of this."
"No." Carl interrupted, standing up. As he stood up and straightened out, his chair pushed backwards against the hardwood. The sound of the wood scraping together cut through the tense silence. "Don't worry about it, Olivia, I will clean it when my dad gets back."
Negan raised his eyebrows and chuckled. Amused. "I love when you get all bossy. It's cute, honestly, like you think you really have a say in everything that's going down here." He poked his finger against the table. "Olivia, take Judy outside and stay there. I wanna talk to this day of sunshine."
Carl scoffed, watching Olivia as she hurried out of the house with Judith wrapped in her arms. The door clicked shut behind her and Carl turned his gaze to Negan. "You haven't shown me otherwise. I've disobeyed. I've been bratty and angry. And you-" Carl pointed at him. "Have done nothing."
"Ignoring childish behavior does not mean I'm giving my control up-" Negan looked down at the empty plates. "But good try." He stepped away from the table, grabbing his bat off of the seat next to him. He swung it around a few times, absent-mindedly playing with it like it was a toy, not something that had killed Carl's family. "Your little sister is cute."
Carl scoffed, picking up a butter knife off of the table. "What is this all about? You bring me home and make me dinner without laying a hand on me. You hardly yelled." He gripped the silver knife in his hand, his hand shaking. Negan had his back turned to him. Now would be perfect. "There's something else going on. I want to know what it is." The butter knife wouldn't be easy to kill with but Carl could always gouge his eyes out.
"Put the knife down and I will." Negan turned around and pointed the end of his bat at Carl. "You're crazy, but I am so-" He shook the bat some. "Much crazier." He winked at Carl and walked into the dark living room. "I know you won't admit it, but you do respect me. Hell, you followed without me telling you to."
Carl dropped the knife on to the carpet, looking up at Negan. The curtains were drawn and all the lights were off. All Carl could see was the outline of Negan's body and a few features that the warm glow of the sun hit. "I don't respect you. I want to know why this as been so easy. No punishment. Nothing."
Negan clicked his tongue against his teeth. "Ah, yes. The men you killed and the supplies you ruined. That is a big offense, no? I mean, those men were alive, Carl."
"So was Glenn and Abraham." Carl tilted his head the side and smirked. "Your point?" He walked towards Negan, gasping when Negan didn't step away. They were no longer chasing. The cat and mouse game was over. "This was easy. Why? Why am I home in one piece? Why did you feed me? Why did you do all of this?"
Negan sighed, swinging his bat some more. The way he touched it was masterful, like the bat weighed nothing. That was unrealistic, though. Not only did the barbed wire and wood add weight, but so did the bodies it had beat, the people it had killed. "Yes." He nodded. "You're right. This is unrealistically easy for you." He looked at Carl. "You're smart. You tell me why I'm being nice."
"That's the thing." Carl whispered, sliding his hands up Negan's arms. "It's not kindness. Not really. You hate being this way-" He gripped his arms. "You hate not being able to hurt me and beat me." He took a deep breath and dropped his arms to his sides. "You feel something for me and you fucking hate it."
Negan looked down at him for a moment, sunlight glowing in his eyes. "What was your first hint?" He stepped towards Carl, studying Carl. He closed the gap between them effortlessly, tilting Carl's head up.
"You didn't kill me. Then, you didn't lay a hand on me." Carl backed away, jerking his head away from Negan's touch. "And then when you made me cry, you stopped and felt bad. That's how I know that I bring out some sort of feelings inside of you. Love. Fear. Sadness. Mourning. I don't know but it's stopped you from hurting me."
Negan cocked his head to the side. "Oh? Is that so? Me, playing with my food, just means that I feel something for you?" He walked around Carl, circling him like a predator taunting its prey. Carl was already cornered. Now he was just playing. That and he was buying time.
Carl smirked. Negan had already admitted it. He just hated finding weakness in himself. Negan put all his pride into being strong and in control. Feelings took both of those things away from him. "You beat Glenn senseless while he was choking on his blood and talking to his sick wife. And you killed Abraham just for the hell of it. Glenn didn't do anything to you but I-" Carl pointed at himseld. "I did. And I'm walking away without a scratch."
"I could kill you." Negan gripped his bat and raised it up, eye level to Carl. "That's why I brought you in here. To kill you. I-" He hissed through his teeth as if he was in pain and closed his eyes. "I can't have you around. Caring about people makes you handicapped. Caring means when you lose them it hurts." He shook his head. "I refuse to hurt again, Carl."
"You won't." Carl replied, hardly even blinking. He didn't flinch or back away. Carl didn't even try to fight. He was calm and confident, standing straight up and looking Negan in the eye. Carl was in control. Negan gave his power up the day they met. "You can't."
"I hate you." Negan snarled, dropping his bat to the floor. He balled his hands into his fists, glaring at him. "I hate you so fucking much." He walked Carl back up against the wall, their bodies pressed together tightly.
Carl looked up at him and smiled. He slid his hands up Negan's chest, grabbing him by two handfuls of his shirt and tugging him down. He closed his eye and hovered his lips over Negan's. He pulled away and leaned back against the wall. "You see..." He played with the hem of Negan's shirt. "That's the problem. You say you hate me but-" He cupped Negans cheek and kissed him softly. "You don't."
