Love Me Like I Love You

- 3 -

During the whole day, when I had classes with Jinyoung, all I could do is stare at him. When he would see me stare, he would wink at me.

In the end of the day. I began to walk home. I didn't bother taking the bus or anything. I just wanted to think about today, and my future. I can't wait for the next 5 years to see Casey again.......

"Hey Jae!!!!!!look out!!!!!!!" I was pushed by Jinyoung and suddenly some kids with their skate boards were laughing while they were passing me.

"Uh. Thanks" I said.

He gave a huge smile. A smile he gives to everyone.

"No problem, your going walking?" He asked all suddenly.

"Yeah, I thought it was better to think."

"Oh well, I could walk with you if you want." I wanted to say no but he was so willing in walking with me and I felt like I wanted him close to me that I said yes.

"So I heard you're the president?" It was just awkward when we were walking so quietly I had to start something up.

"Yup, at your service." He bowed and I couldn't help but laugh.

"I'm. ...."

"Jaebum, male, top boy in his classes but liked to be a bad boy, and........ used to be a former drug dealer but stopped out of nowhere. Moved here in Busan a few days ago because of family issues more over the father being a bitch. Said he was a nerd, I don't know why. And currently walking with the president of his school scared on why he knows him so well." He didn't stop smiling which made me more pissed. I hate when people I barely know, know me more than others that I've been knowing since birth.

"I have you know, that the fact you fucking know my whole past is insulting. And 2 don't you ever fucking say that MY dad is a bitch because he's not. He's just changed when my ....." I didn't want to open up because I knew it would hurt me and also him knowing me more would not prove my point.

I tried to walk away but being close to him and mad at him made me want to stay here a little while longer. I still didn't take off my mad face which made him pretty scared.

"I know why...." he said looking at the ground now which made me back away from him.

He kept talking looking at his feet not trying to make eye contact with me.

"Missundertanding...... 'Lim Jaebum 14 year old boy causes accident?' The article was a long story but it never told the truth. She was 9 you were 14, both of you were walking down the street. You decided to buy a snack or something and she said she wanted to stay in the park. You said ok so she was playing a little while....." I didn't want to hear him talk anymore especially of my sister. I couldn't handle anymore.

" ......" There was a hesitant silence.

"You stepped out of the store with chips and soda. She went running to you and both of you began to walk home." He still kept going now looking into my eyes.
"You stopped to do a talk with a friend...... not exactly since...." I pushed him to wall now with furry but he still kept going. "...you were talking to strangers ....... they started touching her and you couldn't let that happened so you stepped in for her. You began to fight them until one pulled out a gun and........" I put my hand into a fist threatening to hit him but he looked at me. His soft eyes into me digging for the answers.

"But that's not true." He said.

I slowly backed away.

"Right? " He asked and this time, I was the one looking at the floor.

He touched my wrist and if he was another person, I would've pushed him off and beaten him up already. However, he was so caring, wanting to know the reason, maybe even try to help me.

"You're right......" I confessed. "She told me to stop doing the deals and I WAS ........ but when they heard me say it they went directly to her. I didn't want them to hurt her but they did. When I went to the store I bought her a bracelet she wanted and some chips." I took out my hand reveling a dark brown bracelet made with thread. "That day I was going to take her to an amusement park. It was her first one ever." A tear fell from my eye. " I wanted her to felt happy." I crouched down covering my face with my hand and letting the tears out. "When I went to the park they had a gun to her face. I hated those guys."

"They would never have pitty and they would what ever it takes to get pay back. They hold the gun right at her face." I looked at Jinyoung.

"You wanna know who was the last face she saw......mine."

"MINE, THE ONE WHO CAUSED HE DEATH. THE ONE WHO WAS A COWARD TO SAVE HER." I stopped screaming and looked at the floor again.

"The one who kept doing drug deals till her baby sitter started dating me and changed me. I was too of a coward to stop the deals. It reminded me that I had the power. But now, I want to know how it's like to be the nicest kid in school.

I stood up and looked at him.

"I have a chance to be a nerd and if you want to ruin it, go ahead. My life can't be ruined even more by some school jerk."

I was about to go when he pushed my chest to look aT him.

"I guess I'm a jerk." He said calmly.

"But there's always a reason that we do these stupid things." He didn't just include me but him, which got me intrested in him even more.

"Let's keep walking and since you opened up to me ill open up to you."

We began to walk and he began to talk.

"My parents were the happiest couple alive. Or so I thought. My dad is a CEO from a company called LOL." When he said that I wanted to laugh.

"He worked with your dad."

I looked to him in a confused look.

"Wow so your dad doesn't say the truth. I was hoping he would tell you at least. LOL is a company run to help young teens with drug addictions." He grabbed my arm a little awkwardly.

"The reason they build the company together was to understand teens better. I would help my dad out and that's why I know so much about you and your family. Your dad had a suspicion that your sisters death was caused differently and he would talk to me about you and honestly I feel honored talking to you."

"Really?" I asked

"Yes. Everyday he would talk about you. But then everything changed when my parents had a divorced. My dad stop going and moved to the states. Your dad started working more hours and he would try to put on a smile everyday. He would also help me out about my parents divorce. He was amazing, he was like a second dad to me. I heard he started hurting your mother becuase he was too stressed out. My mom then moved here to Busan and I still kept in touch. He said that he kept hurting your mother and he said he wanted to stop but he couldn't. And the last time I talk time him was when he spoke bad about my father. He said that he blames my dad being bitch for everything that he's done to your mother. I didn't want to forgive him. Then I heard my mom say that you were coming to Busan so I made it possible that you get into this really good school since I did hear you like music. And now you think I'm a weirdo."

"Not at all. I think it's sweet." I looked at him and he smiled. This time it was different, it was gentle and caring.

And at that exact moment I new.......

That I liked him. I cannot deny it and I can't say I'm gay. I'm just saying that I've never felt this for anyone and I like it.