How To Screw Yourself Over

Chapter 1.5: The Midget

Liu Han, Yin Hui, and the dragon child come back just in time to see Ash finally succeed in reanimating the colossal wolf's carcass. Yin Hui screams in terror at the sight of its torn and bloodied flesh, gouged out eyes, and trailing organs while Zhi Ruo's eyes flash with disgust before she clings to Liu Han's thigh in faux-fear.

Zhi Ruo's acting could use some work.

From atop the wolf, Ash grants them a jaunty wave and a smug smile. Ash maneuvers the wolf into a seated position before leaping off and greeting the trembling trio. Well, excluding Liu Han. He looks absolutely bewildered. He also has a hint of something she can't quite read mixed into his expression, but Ash is more concerned about all of the retching Yin Hui's doing.

Ash hopes Yin Hui doesn't end up puking on her robes. She quite likes her current attire.

Liu Han finally breaks the silence, hesitantly asking "What did you do?"

Raising an eyebrow, Ash returns the question. "What do you think I did?"

"It looks like," Liu Han starts rather pointedly, "you've raised the dead, replacing the original wolf's spirit with an evil one. That is a devilish technique."

In response to Liu Han's words, Yin Hui's face pales further and even Zhi Ruo's expression twists with distaste.

'What is the significance of a devilish technique?'

The name itself easily shows how much these techniques are dreaded and loathed, but Ash doesn't quite understand why even the dragon seems to dislike them.

[Devilish techniques can only be utilized by devil cultivators, who are, by principle, the enemies of righteous cultivators.]

'These three are righteous? I wouldn't have thought the child was, considering her conniving personality.'

[Righteous cultivators are only named like so because the entirety of their cultivation was obtained through their own efforts. On the other hand, devil cultivators practice techniques that steal or absorb the cultivation of others.]

[As for your other comment,] the distortion pauses with what seems to be a bit of disgust [Zhi Ruo is over seven centuries old. Something must have occurred in her youth because she should be fully mature by now.]

Nice. This little tidbit is going to be stored away for later use. For now, Ash is going to have to explain herself. How annoying.

"This is not a devilish technique," Ash starts with crudely concealed disdain in her tone, "I'm just manipulating the wolf's remains with strings of spiritual qi, see?" Ash wiggles her fingers and the wolf jerks upward in response.

Ash was a bit annoyed when she wasn't able to figure out anything other than the fact that spiritual qi screwed up both natural selection and the process of evolution, but it couldn't be helped: Ash doesn't have any proper equipment to study the carcass with. After she pushed that little project away for later, Ash decided to entertain herself with desecrating the wolf's remains. One thing led to another and now she's playing puppeteer with a corpse the size of a truck.

Seeming a bit comforted by her nonchalance, Yin Hui looks at Ash's hand with a hint of awe and parrots her, "Strings of spiritual qi?"

Ash nods her head in affirmation before elaborating "It took a bit of effort to coagulate spiritual qi into something tangible, but it was quite easy to manipulate the wolf's corpse once I succeeded."

Appearing vaguely impressed, Liu Han looks at her again, clearly reanalyzing her worth. He might just be reevaluating her intentions and capability as well. This is the second issue he's come across in the short time they've known each other, so he might be growing leery of her. Maybe he'll disregard these incidents because of the confidence he holds in his prowess or maybe he's just trying his luck, unsure about her aims and simply throwing caution to the wind.

Then again, he's a child. Maybe he's just staring at the blood that splattered on her face.

Interrupting her train of thought, Liu Han turns to introduce the midget, telling Ash that "This is Zhi Ruo. She may look like a child, but she's actually an Azure Dragon."

Spinning around to face Zhi Ruo, Ash falls into a deep bow and, with mock sincerity, says "I apologize for not greeting you earlier, Miss Azure Dragon. Under the assumption that after seven centuries, even a dragon would have reached their prime, I did not recognize you as quickly as you may have liked. I am deeply sorry."

Ash wonders if her jab was too subtle. In the information she received from 078, the midget was portrayed as a two-faced and spiteful child who only behaved sweetly in front of Liu Han. Ash tried to provoke Zhi Ruo because she thought the diminutive dragon would give her an interesting reaction, but Zhi Ruo hasn't moved a muscle since Ash spoke. That may be a reaction in itself, but Ash is unsatisfied.

Liu Han looks at Ash with curiosity as she rights herself. "You've heard of her?"

Tossing the kid an exasperated look, Ash helplessly replies "Wasn't Miss Zhi Ruo the reason you came here? This little part of the forest is famous for its powerful protector. Many cultivators come to this part of the forest to test their skills against the Azure Dragon that resides here. The more daring ones may even attempt to subdue or tame her."

"Subdue her? Tame her?" Liu Han repeats a little darkly. "Zhi Ruo is her own person. She is not some sort of beast to subdue or animal to tame."

Liu Han says each word with such conviction that Ash doesn't feel like contradicting him. She could think of various opposing points just off the top of her head (and if the stories are to be believed, bloodthirsty and vicious behavior is the defining characteristic of dragons; this is their inherent nature and cannot be changed. By definition, dragons are beasts. Possessing intelligence and emotions does not rid them of that title. Intelligence, knowledge, and wisdom gained over the course of numerous centuries would be very problematic in the hands of an enraged dragon, dragons who are known for their strength and ferocity. Dragons are far more dangerous than any beast, far more valuable a commodity than any animal you could ever hope to tame—), but convincing Liu Han otherwise would clearly take more effort than it's worth.

Instead of replying, Ash turns to the obviously infatuated midget before looking back up at Liu Han with an amused smirk. "You're quite the lady-killer. Race doesn't even matter to you, does it?"

"Why would race matter—" whipping his head around to the midget, Ash is treated to a front-row seat view of Liu Han's expression immediately crumpling when he catches sight of the midget. The midget's actions are a bit too exaggerated to be true, but just makes the show that much better.

When he looks back at Ash's shit-eating grin, Liu Han blows up, incoherently stuttering out curses and accusations. Ash only chuckles as she calmly "I'm not so sure about the first, but I think you had this one coming."

Liu Han is ready to burst into a torrent of protests when the girlie spies an opportunity to interject. Yin Hui, seeing the conversation play out the way it did, trots to the deflating Liu Han and clings to his arm before she shouts "No! You can't bully Liu Han! That's wrong!"

Ash doubles over in laughter. The girlie is a touch too foolish, but she is really quite cute.

It does somewhat concern her though; Yin Hui's behavior always seems a bit too superficial to be natural.

A/N: Ash is completely overanalyzing Liu Han.

Anyway, cultivation levels work a bit like this:
First Stage (Red Spiritual Qi)
Level 1
Level 2
Level 3

Second Stage (Orange Spiritual Qi)
Level 1
Level 2
Level 3

And so on and so forth.