How To Screw Yourself Over

Chapter 1.10: Zombie Cultivators

Ash has been having the time of her fucking life.

By society's standards, she's most likely considered a legitimate menace, but she can't bring herself to care. Honestly, she admits that she went a little too far with that zombie virus, but, come on! The temptation was just too much to resist. All she had to do was search this world for a virus similar to rabies, cut down its incubation period, and carefully let the virus fester, spread, and mutate.

(If she searched for an airborne virus of the same strain as the rabies-like virus and tweaked the result until it could be transmitted through humans as well, she probably could've doomed the world but, sadly, that would have been counterproductive. But can you imagine it? What if she'd modified the functions of the rabies-like virus so that the infected party's mobility and metabolism were left unaffected? She'd have to search for a way to keep each creature's spiritual qi at bay, but if she found a way, she'd bet this world would only consist of zombies in half a year. Zombie cultivators. Oh boy, you wouldn't believe how tempted she was to just say screw it. She wants to see what'd happen so much—)

[No.]

Ash turns to the distortion. "What is it?"

[I don't know what you're thinking, but you've got the same look on your face as the time you attempted to clone that devilish cultivator.]

Ash pulls a face. "I think my reaction was warranted. The man had four arms and a face protruding from his back. Besides, I didn't clone him; I just wanted to see if the modifications he's performed on his body could be replicated if I were to deconstruct and analyze those parts before recreating each sample from—"

[I don't want to hear your excuses! The man had to watch as you dismembered and dissected sections of his body! You didn't even bother fixing him afterward!]

Ash pauses for a moment, thinking about her response. "Many of his functions were enhanced by his extra parts, so I wanted to see if it would remain that way even after I removed them."

[You only realized the man died when you happened to step in a puddle of his blood! You weren't testing anything!]

Entertained by the distortion's exaggerated reactions, Ash chuckles a bit before returning to observe her work from a distance. Most of her poor little walking corpses have been eliminated by the righteous cultivators that were dispatched to take care of the oddities that have been emerging from the Central Forest. Since Ash was the source of said oddities, she was a bit disappointed when the righteous sects eradicated her creations, but she still felt immensely satisfied when she watched them scuttle around in fear or disgust.

It's a shame that most of the righteous cultivators have gained enough resilience to remain unaffected even in the face of a conglomeration of monsters held together by thread. She was really just manipulating that corpse from a distance, but the way their pretty little sect leader's face lost all color was a sight to behold!

When the strange corpse swung at the little leader, Liu Han donned an expression that said he wanted to be anywhere except there even as he moved to rescue her. It was hilarious. Ash felt almost like she was directing a puppet show. Everyone's actions were well within her expectations and it was magnificent.

Unfortunately, right now, the last of her zombies has just perished. How regrettable. Ash still has the virus, but she was hoping the chaos would last longer than just this. Maybe she should release another swarm of them?

[Excuse me, Ash?] The distortion seems to have recovered.

"Hmm?"

[Yu Yan, the catalyst for this world's destruction, will be killed soon, so isn't it about time for you to leave prevent her death?]

"In a few more years then. I want to see if I can create a living Frankenstein's monster. Although it would be impossible to do something like this without the bodies rejecting each other back on Earth, there are clearly ways to avoid this issue in this world. The devilish cultivator was a perfect example of this. His extra limbs and—"

[A-Ash, didn't you plan on killing Liu Han after he seduced those two women? He did that a year ago!]

"Not leaving."

[B-But according to the original course of this world, Liu Han will go crazy once Yu Yan dies.]

"That shouldn't matter much anymore. Liu Han no longer has the support of the Wang royalty, so he shouldn't be as strong as he was originally supposed to be." Ash is rather unconcerned. In the original timeline, the Wang family provided a large number of resources to Liu Han thanks to the original owner of her current body, but since she hasn't even been recognized by the Wangs, nothing of that sort has occurred.

Then 078 bursts Ash's little bubble of complacency.

[Liu Han is in the middle of the sixth stage. He's probably one of the strongest beings in this world.]

Fixing the distortion with a hard gaze, Ash spits out one word: "How?"

Ash didn't quite focus on cultivation, but she did put a fair bit of effort into it. Moreover, she's been cheating, stealing the processed spiritual qi of others through multiple unconventional means. Before she left, Liu Han was an entire stage behind her, but now he's a level ahead of her. How the hell did this situation come about?

[I-I'm not completely sure, but I think it has to do with Zhi Ruo. Since she's his contracted beast, if her cultivation is higher than his, his cultivation progresses smoother. In the original course of this world, she didn't try much and lagged behind Liu Han so they gained none of the benefits of sharing a contract, but Zhi Ruo seems to be cultivating seriously right now.]

"And so Liu Han overcame barriers in his cultivation that he couldn't triumph over alone. Great, just great." Ash is not pleased. Why did Zhi Ruo begin cultivating seriously anyway?

At least she still has some leverage. Ash is fairly certain the poison she administered to Zhi Ruo has yet to be taken care of. That toxin will not be worn down by the vestiges of time nor can it be eliminated through the use of spiritual qi. This world is far too reliant on spiritual qi, so Ash doubts her little concoction will even be noticed, much less cured.

"Fine, I'll renter society," Ash pauses to stare at the distortion, "but I have a condition."

A little apprehensive, the distortion carefully asks, [What is it?]

"Once I've successfully prevented the destruction of this world, let me meet your creator."

[That...I do not have the authority to decide that.]

"Oh. In that case, I guess I'll just go back to my little project." Ash turns back and heads towards her impromptu laboratory.

[W-Wait! I'll obtain permission, so please complete your task!]

Ash isn't quite sure, but she thinks the distortion is folding a bit too easily. Maybe it would also be in trouble if she doesn't complete her task? Or maybe the distortion would obtain some reward for fulfilling its mission? Or maybe she's just overthinking the situation.

"Deal." Ash still heads back to her laboratory though. She doesn't want someone else to obtain the fruits of her efforts.

A/N: I researched for this. What I wrote is pretty vague and I just skimmed the article, so it may not be entirely correct, but it's okay, Ash does weirder things later. If you want to take a look at the article anyway, here:

https://mysteriousuniverse.org/2018/05/could-a-zombie-apocalypse-really-happen/

As for the briefly mentioned cloning, it's actually possible, but probably not it the way Ash attempted to do it. Just look up Dolly the Sheep.