How To Screw Yourself Over

Chapter 2.1: A Shit Fantasy

Before Ash can even open her eyes, she finds herself falling. This is a bit of an understatement as the only thing she can grasp from her current situation is that she is rapidly plummeting from a height so monumental that she can see nothing but clouds below her even now.

Ash is already tired of this shit.

The distortion abruptly appears beside her. [You are falling.]

"Tell me something I don't know." How the hell is she going to survive this?

Ash takes a deep breath, trying to push back the utter exasperation she feels. Then she falls through a cloud and consequently finds herself choking on water vapor.

Ash has successfully been riled up.

[Should I begin the transfer of information related to your current body?]

"What do you thi—" Ash inhales part of yet another cloud. Goddamnit.

Then her head is crammed full of information so starling her irritation is blown away by the incredulous laughter that involuntarily spills from lips.

This is utter bullshit. She's in a love-struck teenager's shit fantasy. This world, as impressive as it is, is simply the set for one of those crappy knight-and-princess love stories. What can Ash do other than laugh?

According to the information 078 sent over, Ash is in a proper fantasy world, fitted with a god-chosen hero, and an antagonistic demonic race. The mainland is a melting pot of various human, demihuman, and demonic kingdoms. This cultural center isn't peaceful; these kingdoms are constantly vying for the resources the land can provide.

However, despite the chaotic happenings of the mainland, Ash's current state is almost entirely unrelated to that particular tragedy. In fact, the two focal points of this world are almost entirely unrelated to those tragedies. Isn't this absolute bullshit?

The original owner of her current body is called Liesl Meier. Liesl is part of the winged race, a comparatively small race of demihumans featuring bird-like attributes.

However, Liesl's wings are underdeveloped; flying with wings as small and mangled as hers is a near impossible feat.

[I would suggest dealing with the current situation before attempting to digest the remaining information.]

Ash is going to kill that thing. "How? Do you seriously expect me to learn how to use an entirely foreign appendage in under a minute? More importantly, these things don't even work!"

Ash receives very little sensory input from her wings—they are clearly useless. She hadn't even realized she had a pair of wings until 078 jammed that piece of information into her mind.

[The ground is now visible.]

Ash has an idea, albeit an unreliable one. Ash grits her teeth, muttering under her breath. "This better work."

Liesl's wings are completely and utterly useless, but she still had one other ability at her disposal. Ash throws her hands before her and mutters a chant under her breath.

The air gathers around her, becoming more and more dense as it swirls around in her a desperate attempt to slow her descent. Ash's fall slows just enough that when she falls into the gnarled branches of an ancient tree, she doesn't snap its hardy limbs.

Unfortunately, she cannot say the same thing about her bones. She growls at the distortion. "What," she spits out, "is wrong with you?"

[I-I had nothing to do with this. I told you that you'd have the final say in choosing our destinations, b-but Ms. Wright ordered me to send you here.]