How To Screw Yourself Over

Chapter 1.17: Pissing Matches

Now, Ash doesn't mean to brag—she's lying, but that's irrelevant—and while it's true that she's been getting her kicks off of Liu Han's confusion, this result was an unexpected one.

It seems Yu Yan decided to take a step forward. If Ash were to point out exactly what changed, she'd say that Yu Yan has finally come to terms with the idea that homosexuals exist. When she puts it that way, her progress seems insignificant, but it's really not. Yu Yan is more accepting of Ash's displays of affection and even responds on occasion.

Liu Han's quiet bewilderment upon first seeing Yu Yan clinging to Ash was beautiful. She wishes she could immortalize the moment. Honestly, Ash doesn't quite know why she hadn't killed the man when they first reunited, but she's definitely not doing it now. She's come up with a better idea.

She'll just steal all of his girls instead. Even though she's stopped crossdressing, Ash thinks she could pull it off. Considering his attitude towards the women, Liu Han might even thank her with tears in his eyes. Isn't Ash so kind?

Of course, the most important point is that she could finally retaliate against 078. This would be revenge for its daily reports on the state of Liu Han's harem. She didn't need to listen to the damn distortion's praise of the harem master's methods.

078 is the only reason why the first thing on her to-do list is to figure out how she can induce selective amnesia in herself.

Anyway, life's been pretty good lately. After the incident with the birds, Ash slaughtered the remaining royals and pushed a new family to the throne. Even though she feels like her current life was a bit lackluster, Ash thinks she could live like this for a few more years—long enough to thin the bond between Liu Han and Yu Yan. Once she does that, there's almost no chance Liu Han will go berserk. Perfect ending.

Unfortunately, Ash failed to consider one little detail. Ash isn't in the habit of eavesdropping, you see, nor is she actually all that interested in any social interactions that don't involve the horror and misery of someone whose tragedy was self-inflicted—since there is no better source of entertainment than some well-deserved retribution.

Well, Ash has gone off on a tangent, but her point is that she hasn't actually been paying much attention to the protagonist. Now, she regrets that.

As she was leaving the little tavern she'd eaten her dinner at, she heard the voices of the dragon and protagonist drifting from the second floor of the tavern. Looking at the place from the outside, Ash decided she could spare a little time to listen to their conversation. Right now, it sounds a bit like this:

"—off your damn ass and go seduce Feng Yun!"

"S-Seduce? Zhi Ruo, you need to stop spewing nonsense."

"This Zhang Jing is Feng Yun, isn't he? So, stop—" Zhi Ruo's adamant insistence takes a suspicious break right before glass shatters and one Liu Han comes flying out the remains of the window.

Zhi Ruo, having just kicked her contracted partner in the gut, finishes her sentence, screaming in rage. "—dawdling and do something!"

Liu Han, groaning, rises from the dust, spotting a dumbstruck Ash just a few feet away. "This..." he pauses to think. "This isn't what it sounded like."

Nodding, Ash decides she doesn't care enough to properly consider the implications of their conversation. By the sounds of it, Liu Han's not going to do anything so she doesn't need to bother. Ash turns to leave.

Liu Han grabs her wrist.

Ash attempts to continue walking.

Liu Han doesn't move.