These Dreams

I Knew

STEF POV

Sitting at the beach at nearly 9PM that night I lit a smoke as my brain was all clogged and I was pretty trashed. It really was and no matter how many people I was surrounded by I still felt alone. Lost with no meaning or purpose as Mike blasted Gloria from the radio making me remember this was one of Lena's favorite songs and the song I taught her to skate too. She had been so happy that night and her smile was one I could not get out of my head at all. 

FLASHBACK

"Did you see me Stef? I skated! And I'm terrible!" She said jumping up and down outside the rink as we walked home.

"Yeah I saw you baby. I told you, you are fucking awesome."

"Well I had an amazing teacher! Can we go again? Please? Please?" SHe begged almost like akid and I couldn't help but smile so wide at her.

"You don't need to beg me. Course we can sweething." I winked as she giggled holding my hand tight. "Really anything to make you happy."

"I love you."

"Yeah cause I take you skating?" I teased as we leaned against the wall of one of the stores by our block.

"No!Silly face! Because you are so sweet and you are so nice. Always. I love you."

"I love you too baby." SMiling at me she leaned in as I kissed her deeply  and she returned it her tongue wrapping around mine.

FLASHBACK ENDS

I could only feel tears in my eyes as I wiped them and took another sip of Mike's drink nearly finishing it as I laid my body back in the sand. By this point everything was swimming around and despite being grounded for life I didn't care. Not one bit as we all suddenly heard a familiar voice.

"Can I join you guys?"  Sitting up now despite how dizzy I was Tess stood there alone as the five of us could only roll our eyes.

"Sure." One of the girls said as I looked toward the ocean and she just happened to sit right next to me.

"Hi Stef."

"Yeah hi Tess."

"So what are you guys up too tonight?" She asked as I took another swig from Mike's drink and feeling it go even more to my fucking head as he leaned in to whisper to me

"Hey wanna leave Stef?"

"No it's ok." Leaning back in the sand I puffed on the joint Mike handed me to hopefully drown out Tess's voice.

"I heard there is a Wham concert next month. Any of you want to go?"

"Why? So you can run into cooler people and get better tickets and leave us out to dry?"

"God Stef do you always have to bring up ancient history?"

"Anceint history? Really?" I said sitting up now and looking her dead in the face.

"Yeah. I've been trying to mend our friendship with you but you are so resistant to it. Just let it go Lena is not coming back so get over her."

"Fuck you!" I yelled getting up but falling back down from being so drunk as Mike grabbed me taking me home. After puking my guts out in his car which I felt terrible about he walked me to my door helping me inside as I just remember my parents standing there and taking me to bed.Of course I was far too drunk to even know what they were saying as I spent the rest of the night with my head in the toilet and passing out.  

By morning my head was not only spinning but pounding and I had one of the worst hangovers of my life as my father came in my room with a tray of dry toast, a pain killer and water. Sitting on my bed he just stared at me with a look I knew the meaning of as my mother came inside as well and took a seat on my chair. This was the last thing I wanted to deal with right now or ever.

"Stefanie we consider ourselves to be very lenient parents. But not when it comes to violating punishments and getting drunk and high. That we won't tolerate.

"Mom could you not yell."

"I'm not yelling. Yet! The past few months you have not been using your head at all. What is wrong with you! Running off with Lena, constantly  breaking curfew and punishment. Flunking out of school. What has gotten into you! What is it!"

"Nothing ok. Jesus christ ma!"

"Honey we are trying to understand. We are. Your father and I have been very patient with you. Very. But we don't know how to help you. We know you are upset about Lena. We know that."

"Mom please. You don't get it."

"Then help us get it Stefanie. For the love of god help us get it."

"It's nothing can you just leave me alone. Shit." I said laying back down.

"That mouth. I'm done she is all yours Frank. All yours!" My mother said storming out the room as I let out a sigh feeling sick as hell.

"Stef you need to be honest. You need to talk to me."

"Daddy what do you want me to say. Huh? You won't get it."

"That you are in love with Lena and that she is in love with you. That you are gay? I've been knowing that."

"What?" I asked holding my head and looking him dead in the eyes.

"Stef I know your gay. I knew you liked Tess but I know you have very strong feelings for Lena. I knew you didn't run off just as friends and you ran off because her  mother threatened the both of you to take Lena.  That's the real truth isn't it?"

Letting out a sigh I pulled my knees to my chest unsure of what to say.

"Look kid there is nothing wrong with being gay. Nothing and I told your aunt the same thing and I know your mother thinks it's some phase but I know it's not. I know this is who you are and I've always known."

"How? How did you know?"

"Just did. Despite your small crush on Michael J Fox I saw how you use to look at Tess and I saw how you were with Lena." I could only smile a bit but soon felt rather embarrassed and unsure.

"So you don't think I'm gross or weird?"

"Not at all. You just have to talk to us. Let us know what is going on. Stef we could have come up with something. I mean the best we could."

Feeling tears roll down my face I leaned in and hugged him tightly as he hugged me back.

"I love you daddy. I love you so  much."

"I love you too honey and I know your hurting for you girl."

"Big time. Her mother moved her here because they were harassing her in Ohio. Because she was gay. Now she is sending her to some boarding school after her ulcer heals up."

"MM. How far is that drive?"

"To where?"

"Ohio?"

"You would drive me there?"

"I would. Get the directions and lets go. I can't risk having you run off again."

"Daddy you are fucking...I mean your amazing."

"Yeah you just have to trust your old man more. But you are still grounded. Now pack and please watch your mouth."

"I promise!"

 Jumping off my bed despite my hangover I threw shit in a bag and called up Mike.

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Stef's Dad :)