These Dreams

Unspoken Feelings

My Love- Lionel Richie '82

As both girls laid in their own beds that night neither one could get the other out of their minds. With it now being almost the end of October it had been two months since Lena had moved to San Diego and become friends with Stef Cooper. By this time their friendship was growing stronger and their feelings even deeper. Refusing to acknowledge what they were really and truly feeling for one another based on pure fear alone in their mind it was far too scary and risky to even speak about it. Therefore the subject went untouched for now and they just appeared as close friends in public. However, whether they spoke of it or not  it didn't prevent them from cuddling close together when they were alone or holding hands. Many times during the last few weeks Lena would catch the blonde staring and smiling at her and Stef would catch Lena as well. On a few occasions Lena could swear Stef was going to kiss her but seemed to have changed her mind at the last minute. But she wanted her too. She wanted her to kiss her so badly as one evening the blonde was chasing her on the sand and they literally fell on top of each other. It was then they stared so deeply into each others eyes, into each other's souls and hearts as the blonde had leaned closer to her but pulled away within seconds laughing it off and teasing Lena to chase her. The second time was when they fell asleep on Stef's bed watching TV. Aunt Roberta and Uncle Sonny had given her permission to just stay over and as Stef turned the light off they laid closely beside each other. Lena so badly wanted to be as closely as possible to the blonde but it was the first time they would sleep beside each other all night and she could feel her heart racing. It was really racing as Stef felt like her heart was going to explode for she could smell Lena a mile away. She could smell every inch of her and would do anything just to wrap her arms around her waist and hold her close. Turning to face her as she saw the curly haired teen looking to the ceiling Lena turned over as well staring deep into Stef's. Even if the room was dark the light from the streetlamp was shining in the room allowing both girls to see the others eyes and faces. The blonde couldn't help herself as she inched her face closer to Lena's and smiled softly at her.

"You ok?"

"Yes. You're bed is comfortable." Lena joked as the blonde chuckled.

"It is."

"Thanks for letting me stay over."

"Anytime Len." Staring even more intensely into Lena's pretty brown eyes Stef gently ran her hand down her arm swallowing hard for if she kept looking at her she was going to kiss her. Fuck was she going to kiss her and Lena would let her. " Let's get some sleep. ok?"

"Ok." the curly hair teen nodded as Stef turned over for she just knew she wouldn't be able to control herself at this point. When Tess had shared the bed with her she wanted to do the same but this was far more intense. This was way more intense and way more then a crush. These feelings she had for Lena were strong and different then anything she had ever felt. They were feelings that scared her and she just didn't know what to make of them or who to talk to about it. Her parents were out of the question even if they were always supportive of her they would never support this. Never.

 As Lena lay beside her staring at the long blonde hair that fell down Stef's back she wished she had not turned her back to her. But part of her had a feeling why as she gently ran her fingers through her long hair. Growing bold she moved her body closer to her resting her head on Stef's back as the blonde herself smiled from feeling Lena's touch. Moving her hand down she grabbed Lena's as they intertwined their fingers and the blonde now turned to lay on her back. Glancing to Lena she could see her big brown eyes staring into hers once again.

"What's up cutie?"

"Nothing." she responded as the blonde now gently stroked her cheek boldly with the back of her hand. By this point their affection was so natural and Lena just ate it up.

"You want to lay on me?"

"Yes." Lena admitted shyly nodding her head.

"Come here." Opening her arm for Lena the slim teen rested on Stef and wrapped her arm around her waist.  At this point she could feel the blonde's heart beating fast as she felt her rub her back gently. Her other hand remained in Stef's hand as she rubbed her fingers softly. Right now it was hard to really describe what they were both feeling but it was close to love. Very close as Lena closed her eyes feeling at peace for the first night since she had moved to San Diego.

"Goodnight sweetheart." Stef whispered as Lena's smile grew wider and her heart melted at what the blonde called her. 

"Goodnight."

It was moments like those that neither could erase from their mind and it was moments like those that were bringing their young teenage hearts closer together and their was just no denying it. Spending literally almost everyday together after school their weekends were just as filled with  roller skating, taking drives to the beach, going to the amusement parks and the mall. Mike and a few others would tag along as well and Lena really felt herself coming out of her shell even more and it was something Stef noticed each and everyday. It wasn't usual at this point for Lena to wear some of Stef's tee-shirts when she slept over or share food with her and drinks. That was her favorite part about being around Stef was her level of affection and love for she gave it to her almost effortlessly. Lena at times could be affectionate and was trying harder for the blonde often rested her head in her friends lap as Lena ran her fingers through her wavy hair. Often that was enough to make her fall asleep as Lena couldn't help but stare at her beautiful face. She soon learned Stef had her own issues she was facing as her parents argued pretty regularly and on occasion her father would come home drunk. There were a few times the blonde had broken down about her aunt and she had held her friend for hours just letting her cry for it was not often that Stef let anyone see her like that. Not even Tess had.

However, as affectionate as they were in a group the two teens were extremely careful and re framed from too much physical contact aside from the general playfulness Stef liked to give. She would often grab Lena and pull her on her lap when there were no more chairs left at the table leaving no one to think anything of it. In everyone's eyes they were just being girls leaving no one with a clue of their intense attraction and feelings.

But that was so far from the truth. Very far as the blonde could only smile as she thought of Lena's beautiful smile, her laugh and the way she felt when she had slept beside her. Lena as well could only daydream herself to sleep as she thought of Stef's amazing laugh, her playfulness, her affection and her beautiful smile. Turning over with a wide smile on her face it was so much easier for her to fall asleep now. Her anxiety was long gone for the most part and she felt the happiest she ever had been for she had a real friend, a best friend who she just happened to love and have the strongest of feelings for.

Of course the closer they got the more angry Tess grew for it had been weeks since she talked with Stef. Weeks and she couldn't help but notice that even the small things she did to try to annoy her weren't working.  She also noticed how often her and Lena hung out, and how much her cousin was coming out of shell. Tess no long ate lunch with Stef and the crew only to eat with Eddie and his friends and she hated it. She also hated that Stef didn't even seem interested in being friends anymore and had not called or come to her asking to make up like she usually did.  Yes it bothered her to no end for this time she would be the one to go to her so called best friend and make up for Lena was just stepping in a place she had no business stepping in.