For You | bws

chapter seventy eight

fuck fuck fuck fuck the new songs AND SHAWN'S NEW SONGS SKELFNSKFNLDODD IM ATTACKED

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[the next morning]

Brad

I woke up with the sun beaming through the curtains, on to the wall opposite. The couch made my neck cramp, which hurt a lot, but I guess I deserve it for what I did.

Yes, it was wrong and disgusting of me to do. It meant nothing. To be honest, I'm surprised Maddie hasn't kicked me out, I'm surprised she even bothered to let me stay on the couch. But, I'm not complaining about that, getting kicked out would have been so much worse than this.

Now I'm awake and have nothing to do, I decide to head upstairs and check on Lily. Maybe she's awake; if she is, she could keep me company downstairs.

I quietly walk towards Lily's room, the door creaking open, only to find that she isn't there. Just the frame of her crib. She must be with Maddie. Hopefully Maddie isn't awake yet, just so I can see Lily as I haven't seen her in a long time.

The floor boards squeaked under me as I walked across the floor - the door also. Luckily, Maddie is still sleeping, but I can hear Lily moving around in her crib. I walk towards Lily and see her sitting up with her finger in her mouth and a toy she held in her other hand. Her pyjamas had Thumper and Bambi on and is an off white colour.

She started to giggle as I came towards her. Her cheeks rising upwards as did her mouth as she smiled at me. She is so adorable. Her hair is messy and the curls were tangled with one another - just like my hair.

I hooked my hands under her arms and picked her up out of her crib. I also grabbed a blanket for her and a spare diaper (nappy whatever) from the draw. With Lily in my arms and an excited Pip trailing behind me, I made my way downstairs with them.

As I got downstairs, I laid out the portable changing table and quickly changed Lily. As I buttoned the last button of her pyjamas, she let out a loud giggle that made me laugh. She has the cutest little button nose and the most gorgeous eyes - Maddie's eyes. She also has long eyelashes which make her eyes look big.

Before taking her into the living room, I put her in her high chair and put some milk in the microwave for it to warm up. While I was waiting for the 'ding' sound, Lily was too busy laughing at Pip who just stood swaying her tail at Lily. It was a sight I'd never forget.

I sneakily took my phone off the bench behind me and took a picture. Lily is laughing in the picture and Pip looks as if she's smiling. It's the cutest thing ever.

The 'ding' sound went off, signalling that the milk is done. I take it out of the microwave and place it on the bench. I take the giggling baby out of her high chair, grab the milk then Lily's blanket before heading to the living room.

Lily sat quietly on her little mat that lay on the floor, right in the middle of the room. Her little hands held the noisy toys. Sometimes a rattling sound, or just a squeaking noise - either way, it amused Lily a lot.

I stared at her, admiringly. This precious little baby is mine, ours. But I had to be a fool and ruin it. I hope Madison forgives me. She has every right to turn me away and kick me out, but I pray she doesn't. I love her, and Lily, very much. I would die for my two beautiful girls - but I'm not so sure what the future holds right now.

Lily lifted her head up, her big eyes looked into mine as she shook the rattling toy in her hand. A smile started to stretch across her cute little face. She began to giggle, the most purest thing - baby's laughter.

A wave of guilt came over me once again, and I started to think.

What would be best for us?

Right now, I am a man (lmao BOY sit down) in my early twenties, with a fiancée and a 5 month old baby girl - this is what I pictured my life to be.

But I also made it as a successful singer/songwriter with my best friends touring the world and making people happy.

Both are my dreams, both are everything I've ever wanted.

But I can only choose one.

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hey babiiiiiies x

sorry ive been lacking updates, i had a busy couple of weeks but i have a 2 week break from school so hopefully i can get more out for you guys:)

lots of love x