Lipstick Lullaby

Chapter Thirty Four

MIGS

I was already halfway on the road to work when I'd remembered my laptop. Dahil sa pagmamadali ko kanina ay naiwan ko iyon sa kwarto ni Saskia. I needed it for the meeting later. I took a u-turn back to Saskia's house and noticed a car parked in front of it. It was Hazel's. My heart started pounding against my chest. I thought of Saskia and our baby. A sense of protectiveness began to flood me. Ayaw kong madamay sila sa gulong ginawa ko.

I rushed to the front door of the house and suddenly paused when I heard them talking through the small crack of the slightly opened door. Everything sounded calm.

"Just take the one million pesos and leave. Barya lang kay Migs iyon. He has enough money that can last him ten lifetimes. Isipin mo ang kinabukasan ng pamilya mo. What will happen after you tell him wala na ang baby?" I heard Hazel say.

Hazel's voice was soft but the impact of it was of a bomb that exploded right in front of my face. I felt heat from my chest rise up to my head. I was so livid I could hardly see straight. I saw nothing but red. 

I pushed the door open. "What do you mean?"

They both turned their heads to my direction, shock evident on their faces. I marched over to them and I looked at Saskia and Hazel. Saskia stood up and started nervously fidgeting with her hands in front of her.

"Ano'ng ibig mong sabihing wala na ang baby?" I asked Hazel, my tone soft but it was indeed harsh. None of them spoke and Hazel turned her head away from me, avoiding my gaze. I looked at Saskia. "Ano'ng wala na ang baby? Sagutin niyo ako!"

"N-nakunan ako." Saskia's voice shook as she spoke.

My whole world had collapsed right beneath my feet when she said that. I had already loved my child before we even met. Baby Migs was already real in my head and heart. How could this happen? How could we lose our baby? A piece of my beating heart began to crumble and wither away.

"And you knew?" My eyes darted at Hazel and I looked at her accusingly. "Gaano katagal niyo na akong ginagago?"

My anger was fueled by deep pain and betrayal. Gusto kong magwala sa galit sa pagkawala ng anak ko. I flipped the coffee table over and it startled both of them. 

"Sumagot kayo!" I shouted in a fit of anger. 

"Migs, noong umalis ka, nalaglag si baby. S-si Hazel ang tumulong sa akin noong nasa ospital ako." Saskia said, her eyes filmed with tears.

"Kaya ba gusto mong ituloy ang kasal? Dahil alam mong wala na ang anak ko?" My eyes snapped accusingly at Hazel.

"Yes." She said in a stoic tone. "It hurts to be played a fool, doesn't it? Now you know how it feels like."

I swallowed, forcing down the lump in my throat. I could feel hot, angry tears stinging the corners of my eyes. 

"Ginamit niyo ang anak ko para gaguhin ako! My dead child!" I looked at the two of them before my eyes at Saskia. "Ikaw? Why did you hide this from me? Dahil ba sa pera?"

"Migs..." Tears fell from her eyes as she walked towards me. I took a step back when she tried to touch me. "Migs, hayaan mo naman akong magpaliwanag."

"Huwag kang lalapit sa akin." I said in a low growl, my eyes narrowing spitefully at her. "Paano mo nagawa sa akin ito, Saskia? I thought what we had was real. You were the only real thing in my life..."

"Natakot ako..." She began to sob.  "Migs, sorry. Patawarin mo ko. Natakot akong sabihin sa'yo kasi alam ko kung gaano mo kamahal si baby Migs. Sasabihin ko naman talaga sa'yo, naunahan lang ako ng takot. Ayaw kong mawala ka sa akin."