Ravenclaw

Chapter 77- Fix This

Song for the chapter: This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things by Taylor Swift

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     Helga Hufflepuff's mood had darkened considerably.
     It was noticeable in everything she did— she was rather rough with the botany; quite snappy at students, especially those who had the last lessons of the day with her; she limited communication unless it was completely necessary; she became the sullen, grumpy version of herself that no one had ever seen her like before.
     The bumbling, bright Helga was gone— instead, replaced by this sodden replica that couldn't compare to the original.
Several people had tried to cheer her up— the day immediately after Helga visited Ophichus and Flaura, Rowena rushed up to her friend to ask about her opinion on the situation and what she thought they should do about it, but only got a stoic "Whatever you say's good," in return. Godric attempted to smooth things over during meal times, and because Helga was unable to shout at the married couple to leave her alone, she silently finished her meal as quickly as possible and left, taking the most complicated route back to her office so that they couldn't track her.
     Professor Lilac even tried to talk to Helga in between their classes. Because of how she still saw Professor Lilac as her teacher and couldn't disobey her, Helga started avoiding her altogether after their first 'talk' about Salazar when Helena and Raziel found out. Professor Forfax didn't have much luck either— he would spend most of his time over at the Weasleys' when it was his turn to take care of Grace as Helena taught, and he'd always try to stay to talk to Helga. But, just like how easily she avoided Professor Lilac, she made sure to stay at Hogwarts quite late and would only return in the late hours of the night, when Raziel was forced to leave their home.
     The only one finding joy in this lack of enthusiasm was Percival.
     Helga, knowing that she couldn't keep him oblivious to the dangers up ahead, told him about the Resistance, but not about how Salazar was involved with them. Percival had agreed that it was better to keep to themselves, for they couldn't trust anyone. The fact that he 'supported' this new Helga only made her life easier— when Rowena came knocking on the door the other day, he had shut her out, saying that it was 'too dangerous' and leaving a bewildered Rowena on the other side of the door.
     It was until Rowena gave up and turned to Salazar for help did Helga's grumpy façade broke.
     He walked swiftly to Helga's office and knocked. When there came no reply, he pointed his wand at the lock, whispered the words, "Alohomora," and pushed the door open.
     The office was empty. You could see that it was well-maintained— everything was clean and neat, and it seemed that she was still out for lessons. He looked at the sun dial that sat outside— it was nearly 1 o'clock, Helga's classes would end soon. Salazar decided to just wait her out, settling on the comfortable leather armchair, folding his arms and looking put the window, lips pursed, thinking deeply.
     At exactly 1:15, Helga had entered the office, arms overflowing with parchment, wand sticking out from where she stuck it behind her ear, hat slightly lopsided as the case she brought along with her for lessons swung dangerously from side to side. Her curly hair was quite messy— it managed to be curlier than usual. She dumped her things on her desk, and when she noticed Salazar sitting in her chair, she crossed her arms and frowned, lines creasing the still young, still beautiful face.
     "What in Merlin's name d'you think you're doing here, Salazar?" She said sharply, her voice shriller than shrill and stricter than strict. Salazar, unfazed by the harsh tone since he grew up with his mother, raised a brow.
"What we've all been trying to do— I'm here to talk to you, Helga."
Helga rolled her eyes— if only Salazar knew that the reason why she was feeling so snappy was because of him. Plus, if she was unable to open up to Rowena, Salazar probably had no chance of breaking the harsh exterior she put on.
"I'm not in the mood to talk, Salazar. Now will you please leave my office, I have work to do." She said, already starting to ignore him and clean up the parchments everywhere, straightening them and stacking them neatly with her wand. Salazar rolled his eyes. "You're starting to sound like Rowena," he said, standing up and walking round the desk so that he stood in front of her.
"And you're starting to get on my last nerve," she replied through gritted teeth. "Seriously Salazar, if you knew what was causing me trouble, you wouldn't even think about coming to see me." She looked at him dead in the eye— his dark green eyes were once full of life, but now they seemed cold, almost dead compared to her bright, shining amber once. Despite the cold front she put on, her eyes remained expressive of her true feelings.
"You're a coward, Salazar."
It took everything in his body to control himself, to prevent himself from lashing out at her and grabbing her by the throat, just like he did before. Just like how he drove her away.
She didn't know anything. She didn't know how much he already sacrificed to keep her alive— he had suffered so much, had to let her slip through his fingers and marry someone else, or risk the death of Helga and his children. It already pained him being away from them, it hurt him even more when he had to elope with Maria. And now, it was like a million knives were stabbed into his back, lingering there, and then slowly being pulled back out, only to come flying back into the already open wounds of his heart.
Right now, all Helga was doing was pouring heaps of salt onto them.
"Helga, listen to me," He growled. "You don't know what I'm going through, don't know how hard I'm trying to keep you and our children safe—"
"And what if I do know?!" Helga shouted, tears forming at the eyes. "What if I did know how hard you've been trying, but knew that you're doing it in the wrong way?" Her hands turned into fists at her side as she mustered the fiercest glare she could— how dare Salazar hurt her. How dare Salazar held her heart and didn't give it back. How dare he be so captivating. How dare he be the father of her children... though she wouldn't've had it any other way.
     "You will never know, Helga."
     "Hogwarts is your home," she pleaded. "Hogwarts is where we found each other, where you told me... you told me..." She broke her gaze away from his and closed her eyes, unable to face him. "You told me you loved me."
     "And love you I do." He replied, keeping his cool. His words were true— he loved her, he still did, and he will never stop loving her. Never will another woman capture his heart like Helga did, and he wished she knew that, wished that they both trusted each other enough to know that whatever they did, it was for the best...
     Salazar was deep in thought, not focusing at the matter of hand, but then he felt it— a stinging on his left cheek, a burn. He raised a pale hand to his face, and he took a glimpse of himself in the mirror Helga had propped up in her study— his face was red, but he could clearly see it; the outline of a hand.
     Helga had slapped him.
     "I... I..." Just like how she knocked Salazar back into reality, she had knocked herself into shock. "I've got to go," she muttered, taking a quick, frightened glance at Salazar, before bolting from the room. Her sunshine yellow dress billowed behind her as Salazar stood, dumbfounded, touching his face in shock.
     What was he doing?
     Sacrificing something he worked so hard for? And for what? To please his mother?
     Didn't he already show that he could defy her now? Didn't he prove to the Resistance that he was the one in charge? He wasn't his mother's little puppet anymore— she couldn't control him, neither could that witch Aurora, Maria's aunt, who killed his best friend's father. If he was in charge, if he was in control of himself and his future, why was he still choosing the wrong path? Why did he still turn to choose the evil his mother had started?
     You're father wouldn't've wanted this, a voice inside his head said.
    "I wouldn't know what my father would've wanted," he said to himself. He regained his composure and readjusted his silk tie. He put on his robes again and picked up his wand. Salazar walked out of the office and shut the door, making his way to his own office. Yes, term had started, but he decided to pay a short visit to his mother. After all, he was in charge, and he was going to make sure of it.

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