Ravenclaw

Chapter 42- Mixed Emotions

Song for the chapter: Secret Love Song by Little Mix

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     Silence is bliss.
     But sometimes, it is dangerous. It causes your brain to be empty, there is no noise to fill the space. So your thoughts do instead.
     But our thoughts can be dangerous as well.
     All the worst possible scenarios come into mind, and the things you tell your mind to rid of comes back to haunt you. Feelings and emotions get welled up and bite down on you metaphorically, and you feel useless because let's face it; who asked you to be stupid and go on to do all that?
     That's exactly what Flaura Mae Ravenclaw felt.
     As she sat in the common room once more, which felt like her second home, she sighed-- her thoughts continuously consumed her mind, and she hated it.
     She hated not being able to choose between Godric and Ophichus; she hated the fact that despite looking like her, she would never be her sister or accomplish what she could. She hated the fact that she was still as vulnerable as before; she hated that everything before her could disappear with one wrong move...
Sighing, she took a sip of her hot tea. What was she to do? Ophichus little talk had gotten her to think-- what would she do when she married Godric?
She would carry on with life. But then that was going to be the day the Committee Of The Magical Community would come and officially open the school with all the declarations. The marriage was specially planned, and she wasn't ready to accept students on the 31st of August and start teaching on the 1st of September.
     She wasn't ready to start teaching students magical skills she didn't even possess...
But if she followed Ophichus, embarked on his path, she'd get the perfect life--the life she was supposed to lead. With Ophichus.
But if she told the truth, how was everyone going to deal with it? 'I meant to kill Rowena, was unsuccessful and don't know where she is, goodbye' isn't a compelling argument and decision she wanted to deal with. What about all the things she had to explain to Godric, whom she kissed Merlin knows how many times? He had proposed to the wrong woman, and he'd be crushed knowing he did.
Then there was still the prospect if the prisoners she had gathered-- Professor Lilac, Profesor Forfax, the two strangers that she believed were lying about not befriending Rowena...
There was so much to think about, so much she didn't want to think about.
Giving up was the one thing she often did, the one thing Rowena told her not to do when they were schooling. That is, when she cared. So why stop now? Why did she, Flaura Mae Ravenclaw, suddenly wanted to persist and persevere?
Was it because she was tired of failure? Was it because she didn't want her sister to beat her again by establishing a school?
There were so many conflicting feelings, so many conflicting thoughts.
That all happened under an hour.
The sun was beginning to set again, and Flaura Mae sighed again. A chuckle was heard, and she turned around to face whoever entered.
     Another sigh escaped her lips; albeit a relieved one. It was just Godric, and he was smiling at his soon-to-be wife. Luckily she decided to stay in her sister's form.
She painfully smiled back. "Hello, Godric."
He smirked and made his way over to her. "Hello, Mrs Gryffindor."
Mrs Lestrange, more like...
"Haha, very funny Godric." She said, smiling as his presence lit up the dark space. They sat at the window and stared at the sky as the sun turned it a pink and orange hue.
"My love for you isn't funny," he said, grasping her hand in his." It's pretty serious,(A/N: sirius ;) ) actually." He kissed her hand, and he let his lips linger on her hand as his blue eyes stared directly into her green ones.
Flaura awkwardly smiled, returning his gesture a little bit awkwardly. She continued looking out the window. What was she to do?
"Don't be nervous," Godric reassured. "I know this may seem to be a lot of pressure, since I offered to take you responsibility for the school and you, the wedding. But really, it's a wedding, our wedding. So plan it all to your heart's desire. After all, isn't my heart to be joined with yours?"
He smiled at her again, this time brushing his lips across her cheek, asking silently for permission. Flaura nodded silently, and his lips met hers. He flinched at the pain before pulling away. He had already gotten used to it. Slightly anyway.
"I'll go get dinner, then."
With one last smile that he couldn't help offering, he stood up, walking towards and exiting the oak door. It creaked closed, and Flaura sighed once more. Just like how Godric couldn't stop smiling, she couldn't stop sighing.
She wasn't sure about her feelings, but one thing was for sure-- she didn't know what on earth she was going to do.

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