𝓣𝓮𝓵𝓵 𝓶𝓮 𝓛𝓲𝓮𝓼 (NCT Lucas FF) #wattys2018 √

Author's Note

At the beginning, I said that we all lie to get rid of the ugly truth, and that is my main inspiration. I have to be honest, I was kinda having a hard time in school and some professors.

I was supposed to graduate last 2018 but got delayed because of a lot of reasons. Mostly were school's errors and of course, I'll take all the blame for myself. Maybe my efforts wasn't enough. Maybe I really am not meant to finish this profession. Maybe this is the universe telling me that this isn't for me.

This year, I did all my best but ended up with the same result. Missing files that can't be found anywhere. All my classmate's results of medical exams were there except for mine. Just like last year.

You might be wondering why I'm writing this personal stuff on a Kpop fanfic.

You know why?

Because just now, I realized why I keep on writing these school cliches with the cool and considerate teachers is because it was them who I needed the most. I needed professors who would look at students equally and understand that we are doing everything but there's still something missing.

Maybe consideration, encouragement instead of scolding and insults. Maybe all we need is assitance to find our lost files.

Apparently I have none of those and it might be the reason why you're reading this now on my final Author's Note in this fanfic.

It was titled Tell Me Lies because unlike my real life, I want to tell you lies. I want to tell you a story where I am not a loser and an unlucky person who keeps taken advantage of. All the character's stories I made sure to have a happy ending because I want to witness a story where everything ends happily.

I keep wanting to see that ending, a happy one, I mean.

I wanted to create a place where broken families can be solved easily and death can be accepted easily, because these are the things I don't think I can get away of. People who knew me are tired of the same damn thing about me and tired of hearing these stories, so I provide you something simple that I can't do. Move on from family and death of relatives.

Hahahaha!

Because apparently, I'm the only fucking person who doesn't know how to let go! And everyone else can move on easily from those tragedies right? I'm the only one who has a messed up head right? And I'm not fucking normal to be crying when I feel wronged, taken for granted, sad or in pain in general.

That's what I thought at first. But then I've red comments that agrees with me and feels the same pain as me. That's when I realize that I'm not alone. You guys are just not a part of my small toxic environment. I hate to say this but Wattpad helped me find peo0le who are like me.

Because when you cry, you should stop right away and fucking smile. Even if you feel anxious that you won't graduate. Even if people yell at you, when people leave you and when people die.

And the reason why the schoolmates in the story were Kpop idols and all the cool professors were all kpop artist is because it turn out, it was them who makes me feel better. When I'm on my room crying and feel like I need to disappear, I listen to songs and It makes me feel happy.

When nobody's asking how I'm doing, Kpop idols go on vlive to check up on how everybody is doing.

When nobody's telling me that I'm worth it, Kpop idols are there to tell their fans that we are all special and we all have our own purpose in life.

It was them who relives my stress.

All this time, it's just me, he books I write and the 9nes who read them. So thank you very much. I had a good time. This is a whole book I wrote but I just finished a new chapter of my life. I still believe that one day I'll graduate and finally feel like I'm not a waste of space.

Happy lying. Bye-bye.