The Misfire:Book 1 (Newt || A TMR Fanfiction)

31. I'm Here Now

Fortunately, I didn't pass out from overfatigue yet I had to rest for a few hours in the medhouse together with Alby, who was tied up, but placed me on a bed far from him just in case something went wrong. Winston told me that Erin fainted when the doors closed, waking up minutes later only to pass out again once she remembered what had happened. Newt was silently sitting beside me on the bed as I told them about what happened in the maze last night. Erin noticed how eager Newt was to talk to me alone, so Winston and her dismissed themselves.

I was too scared to even look at the blond boy. I didn't know what to say so I laid on my bunk and was about to sleep when he suddenly spoke.

"Close your eyes, and I'm never talking to you again."

"I'm awake," I replied instantly as I sat up again, "I'm awake. Don't worry."

He sighed heavily and rubbed his forehead. "I lost all my bloody energy from last night's breakdown." My heart sank to how his voice quivered, his eyes still puffy and swollen.

"Newt, if you don't want to talk, it's ok. I think you should rest."

"Don't tell me what to do."

"Oh, ok. Sorry." I fiddled with my fingers anxiously.

He sniffled. "Why'd you do it?"

"What?"

"Why did you think it was a shucking good idea to go behind my back and do the one thing I told you to never do again?" He looked at me straight in the eye.

"I'm sorry. I just-"

"What the hell were you even thinking?"

"I didn't want to." I stooped down at the sheets. "But Minho and Alby were in trouble."

"You're not a runner, or even a keeper. You can't make decisions like that."

"I know. I'm so sorry. I really am."

"You always say that. Do you even mean it?"

I looked at his eyes. He was crying the whole night according to Winston. I felt like I've hurt him by making him worry too much. I caressed his cheek. "I'm really, really sorry Newt. Please don't get mad."

"You could've died out there y'know...."

"But I didn't. None of us did."

"Easy for you say. You weren't here last night. So what do you think we'd be imagining our friends stuck in the bloody maze?"

"We had to survive out there." I held his hand. "To make it back. For you."

He exhaled heavily, withdrawing his hand. "Sometimes, I think that you just want to get away from me for some reason."

"Huh? That's not true." I clasped his hands, even if mine were shaking. "If, if it...if it makes you feel better, I can spend a night in the slammer."

"How the hell would that make me feel better?"

"Yeah you're right, that's a stupid idea."

A smile finally displayed on his lips. "I care about you Maya, bec- But I don't know if you feel the same."

"What makes you think that?"

"You never told me. The only times you'd exchange affection with me is only when a drink is in your shucking hand."

Newt was right. He told me countless times how much he cared but I only realized until now that I actually never told him how I felt. I loved him but I was also confused and lost that I tried so hard to ignore and dismiss this feeling. But yesterday, when I saw him desperately screaming my name and struggling from Zart and Frypan's grip, I knew I had to survive the maze.

I had to come back--for him.

"It's, it's hard to understand what I really feel cause I don't even know what's going on," I explained, "Does that make any sense?"

I wanted to punch myself in the face so hard for being so horrible with words. I was confused with everything that was going on to be honest. But maybe my feelings for this blond boy was actually what helped keep me from going insane. I didn't think it was possible to actually find love in a messed place like this.

"Then you better sort them out." Newt replied smoothly before leaning for a kiss. It was slow and sloppy but my heart fluttered at the sensation I was experiencing at this moment. Those kisses were both my addiction and agony. I lived for them and I would die with the memory of them on my lips.

I broke from the kiss and rested my head on Newt's chest, trying to catch my breath. My hands were still tangled along his hair. I looked at the side and saw Clint standing still, scratching the back of his neck.

"Uumm, the gathering is about to start."

~

Everyone was at the council hall. Apparantly Gally was pissed at Thomas for breaking the rules. I was surprised that they didn't punish me even if I broke a rule. I was not a runner and the only reason why Alby let me inside the maze before was just to confirm about my ability.

I sat between Chuck and Clint while Erin was between Winston and Minho. They were busy arguing while I remained silent, hoping that Gally's anger wouldn't target me.

When everyone started raising their voices to express their opinions, I didn't linger any longer and stood up. I left the hall, ignoring other's curious gazes while they watched me leave during the middle of a meeting. There was this funny feeling in my gut about an unexpected arrival today, which was similar during the day Chuck arrived. I jogged to the box and knelt down, peering on it.

"Why are you coming up today?" I whispered to it like it was alive, "What the shuck are they up to this time?"

I waited for a little longer and soon enough, the siren blared loudly, making me cover my ears. The others ran outside the hall.

"Maya, what's going on?" Newt asked. I shrugged, looking at the other gladers sprinting towards the box. Gally arrived beside me, giving me an uncertain look before focusing on the lift. They opened the box and Newt hopped in.

"Newt what do you see?" Frypan asked.

"It's a girl."

"She's early." Erin crossed her arms. "That's weird."

"I think she's dead."

"What's in her hand?" Gally added.

Newt took the note. "She's the last one ever-" He paused and looked at us- "What the hell does that mean?"

Suddenly, the girl gasped awake, taking everyone by surprise, resulting to some of the boys yelping and tripping backwards. She mumbled Thomas' before shutting her eyes again. All eyes were fixed on the greenie.

"You still think I'm over reacting?"

"Slim it Gally!" Erin hissed, "It's just another shucking girl. Nothing wrong about that. Come on, stop staring and bring her to the hut." She clapped her hands and the boys obeyed.

If only we knew how impactful her arrival was.