I Am Ryder

Chapter 15-Break Down

"Hey Ryder, um, you ok? I heard what happened." Kendal asked me, kind of out of breath, as he just sprinted down the hallway to catch up to me. That means Paisley told them. It's not that I care, I mean they have a right to know, but I don't really want to talk to anyone and I know that if Kendal is asking questions, then Tate is gonna ask even more questions. And I really don't want to deal with Tate right now.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I replied back coldly, while putting my headphones in. Yes he is my best friend all, and my first friend here for that matter, but I really did not want to talk to anyone. Not Today. It is too hard. What he doesn't realize, what none of them realize for that matter, is that too me it is like my life was just ripped away from me.

"Look, I know you aren't. You can talk to me you know, about anything." My friend told me. I know that he is sincere, and I know that he is there for me, but all I want is to be alone. I don't want to talk to him. I don't want to talk to Tate. I don't even want to talk to Paisley. Hell I barely even want to talk to myself today.

"Kendal, just leave me alone." I told him through gritted teeth, as everyone started filing out of the hallway to class, since the minute bell just rang. Now it was just us out here, just two kids standing by lockers, one trying to help the other. Except, I didn't want his help. I didn't need his help.

"Ryder, look, you can talk to me. Just tell me what is wrong. Please just let me help you." He basically pleaded. And as much as I wanted to just breakdown and cry to him, I couldn't. I can't. So I guess that was when I snapped.

"Kendal I am fine OK! I get it, my shitty brother just ruined my life and you just want to help, but I really don't need an F-ing support group! OK! I. Am. Fine. I always have been." I basically scream at him. But it wasn't until I saw my best friend's face fall and I saw how hurt he was, that I had realized what I had actually said to him. I hurt him. I hurt Kendal.

"Right. Um I gotta get to class." He replied back to me emotionless. He then turned around and started walking to the class that we shared. I'm sorry Kendal.

"Kendal! Kendal please wait! I'm sorry. I really didn't mean-" I tried to get him to stop but all he did was cut me off. I'm pretty sure all I did was make it worse. I'm so sorry Kendal.

"No Ryder. You're right. You don't need a fucking support group! Because you are Ryder. The girl who doesn't need anyone else. Who doesn't need friends or people t be there for her. Who doesn't need me!" He hissed back to me just full of hatred. And as he started to turn back around to go to class I saw something that made me so sad. I saw tears in Kendal's eyes. I'm so sorry Kendal.

After all that, I could only do one thing. I couldn't help it. And I just couldn't hold it in anymore. These past few days have just been terrible. So I slid down the locker and onto the dirty floor, and just broke down. I cried for today, and yesterday, and everyday before that.

I cried for all of the lies. For all of the secrets. For all of the mess. But most importantly I cried for Kendal. He was my first friend here. I didn't mean to hurt him. I only wanted to be alone. But I guess now that I'm alone, all I want is my best friend back.

It felt like forever that I sat there, on the cold, dirty, floor, with my back against an even colder locker, just crying. I'm so sorry.

But then something happened. I felt something sit next to me, or someone I should say. I look up to see the one person that I expected to come, but also the one person who is shockingly here.

"T-tate?" I squeak out to the boy sitting next to me. In all honesty I'm shocked that he is here but at the same time I am so glad that somebody is here, weather or not it's the quote on quote bad boy.