i leave the house,
shutting the door with a click behind me.
I plug my earphones in and walk.
I breathe in the fresh air,
taking in the beautiful sunny morning,
it greets me with a sun kiss on my skin,
i listen to the birds' song,
overpowering my music.
I remove my earphones to listen the song of the birds.
it's sweet and charming,
putting a wide smile on my freckled face.
I walk along a small entry,
with flowers each side,
waving as I go on by.
I walk,
and walk,
and walk.
when,
the song of the birds stops.
the sun rays kissing my skin,
stops.
I stop,
the smile vanishes from my face,
in its place, a frown.
the small entry slowly turns into a busy road crowded with cars.
i look left then right,
this isn't the right path.
i keep switching between all the different directions desperately trying to figure out where I have stumbled to,
my head begins to bang,
my vision becomes blurry,
shifting in and out of focus.
I shake my head,
trying to return back to normal.
-
it doesn't work.
-
my palms become clammy,
and my back shivers.
i dig my nails deep into my palms,
but I have no grip.
I wipe my forehead of the non existent beads of sweat,
Instead I feel my head is stone cold.
what is wrong with me?
i walk again,
alone with my thoughts,
the sky no longer blue,
but grey.
I pass masses of people that appeared from nowhere,
their voices louder than usual,
they sound almost as if they're shouting?
a high pitched whistle rings in my ears,
and I can no longer hear anything,
only a white noise.
my balance is off and I'm swaying everywhere,
like I'm on a lost ship,
on rough stormy seas.
the whistle and white noise becomes louder and louder,
I cover my ears and squint from the pain,
i crouch down in the sea of people,
but I can't hear a word they're saying.
my head is spinning,
I feel as though I might faint,
the cars beep and my eardrums burst,
the beep sounded as if a bomb went off,
my hands squeeze hard on my ears,
making my head hurt even more.
"hey?"
-
i spin and spin,
and now a new noise has joined my head,
echoing around it-
"excuse me? hello?"
-
this noise makes it worse,
it bounces around my head,
like messing up a bedroom,
it throws shit around until it's messy,
and impossible to get through.
that's what the noise is doing.
"shall I call an ambulance?"
-
the noise grows louder,
and the car beeps once again,
i whelp with pain.
my hands clutching my head,
making things even worse.
then,
i feel a warm thing on my shoulder,
it makes me jump and I push it away,
now I hear all the voices,
beeps,
footsteps,
phone calls,
dogs barking,
the keys in a bag,
the rustles of the trees,
the shouting,
the talking,
the-
EVERYTHING
all at once.
-
it begins to rain,
to pour.
to hammer down.
everything starts to fade out,
it fades out to black.
then I feel nothing.
nothing but an abyss of black.
silence.
but at the same time,
-
the silence was deafening
