im sinking,
deeper and deeper into the blue,
into the unknown.
i used to have floats,
they'd keep my head above the water,
so I could see the beautiful scenes that life had to offer.
but I have no floats anymore,
and everyday I sink deeper and deeper.
instead of beautiful scenes,
I see nothing but the blue abyss turning slowly into black.
at first I panicked,
i tried to swim back to the surface but I couldn't.
i was being forced,
being dragged down by a weight,
not on my shoulder but on my foot.
the further I went down the less panicked I became,
I grew used to the darkness,
to the lack of breath.
-
every now and again,
a float tries to rescue me,
trying to grab my hand.
but I'm too far down now to be saved.
I've accepted that.
-
the depressing blue waters pass me and slowly turn into black,
'this is it', i think,
all of this suffering coming to an end,
all of my pain finally being relieved,
but no.
it's not that easy.
the weight has no where to run anymore,
it hits the bottom,
rock bottom.
the wave of panic flows over me once again,
trying to drown me this time.
the lack of breath that never used to bother me,
began to suffocate me.
i take gulping breaths,
desperately trying to breathe in an ocean, (good job)
the black abyss feeds me water,
and I think about the end,
this is it right?
wrong.
I'm at rock bottom,
I can't go anywhere from rock bottom,
only up they say?
but i can't.
the ocean has a plan,
to box me in,
to leave me at the bottom,
to leave me suffocating wishing to die,
to leave me with no beautiful views,
to leave me with nothing.
-
I don't see anymore floats reaching out,
i don't see anymore beauty,
i don't breathe anymore air,
I no longer care,
I've hit rock bottom.
