im torn.
im hurt.
i feel so much pain.
i don't know how to feel or act anymore.
i bottle everything up and I throw it into the ocean, watching it whirl around and sink to the bottom.
overtime sand will cover over the bottle and it'll be lost to time,
then nobody will know what I truly feel,
nobody can reach the bottle anymore, for it is lost.
-
"are you okay, you look kinda depressed?"
'im fine'
-
'im fine' is becoming a regular phrase.
it's my answer to everything I don't want to answer with the truth.
and I hate it.
I can't talk about my bottle,
if I do, people either don't give a flying fuck, or they think it's a competition and they say something like,
"oh my god, I feel so depressed lately"
'why?'
"my mum won't get me this bag I want"
do they know there's a difference between sad and depressed?
obviously not.
and that hurts me.
I try to get my friends to talk about their feelings,
I get them to open their bottles,
but I don't myself.
it's lost to the ocean.
call me a hypocrite but at least my friends are happier than they were.
I take interest in my what my friends have to say: good or bad.
it takes my mind off the fact that my bottle is slowly sinking to the bottom of the ocean.
and eventually it'll be lost.
but I'm numb already,
it's only a matter of time before I feel nothing.
