Inevitable

Chapter 43

The rain hasn't stopped all day. Zayn has been texting me, keeping me informed on when he will be here. Michael and I have been watching movies the whole day. I've been trying to get Jess up to eat but she still refuses. "She just wants to sleep. Sleep away her pain." she says. She gets emotional and I get emotional, Michael is in the middle of an estrogen ocean. I feel so thankful for him. He's been nothing but comforting to me. When I told him that Zayn was coming home I could literally see him loosen up, like all the tension left his body. So, here we sit waiting for Zayn. I can't tell you how anxious I am. Keeping this from Jess is hard. I know deep down she will be happy. But, she's going to be livid when she finds out I told him about her condition. He needed to know, it was inevitable.

It is now 11 o'clock at night and the thunder is rumbling all through-out the house. I jump at the loud crack from outside and nestle into Michael's chest. He chuckles and tightens his hold around me. The only thing keeping me from screaming is the sound of his breathing. I focus on the sound while I close my eyes.

I'm almost asleep when I hear a knock at the door, My eyes shoot open and I'm out of Mikey's lap in 2.5 seconds. I'm bounding up stairs and towards the door, I pull it open and see two very sorrowful brown eyes. He has a hood but it isn't up protecting his face. He looks like a drowned rat. His hair once perfectly quiffed is now stuck to his forehead. The rain pelts his face as he stands in front of me, like he's letting each drop remind him of what he's done wrong.

I step aside and let him in. He nods once as if saying 'Thank you'. I close the door behind me and follow him down the stairs and to the living room. He takes his boots off by the door and hangs his soaking wet jacket on a hook.

Michael looks at him impassively as Zayn faces me.

"Where is she?" He says quietly.

I see the sadness in his eyes. His posture is awkward and distant. He has no clue what he's in for. The room hasn't been touched since she did it. I want him to see her pain through every shard of glass and ripped picture. He needs to know her pain now. He gets to see what a mess he has made.

"She's in our room and has been all week."

He starts to walk but turns around like he's asing for permission. I nod once and look to the floor. I can hear his socks rub on the carpet as he walks, signaling I can glance up. I watch him stride down the hallway and stop just before he reaches the door. He grasps the door handle and lets go. He bows his head and breaths in deeply. He reaches for the door handle for the second time and slowly opens the door.

I instantly get shaky and nervous. I look at Michael with blurry eyes and he pulls me to his chest. This is the moment I have been waiting for. Waiting for a whole god damn week of not knowing what will happen to her or the baby, not knowing where the hell Zayn was and if he even cared. I can confirm he actually does care otherwise he wouldn't be here. I still don't know why he left. I cry into his chest, not because I'm sad. But because of pent up stress and emotions. This is a relief and I'm letting it sink in. He kisses my head and whispers sweet nothing's into my ear as he hugs me. Now, we wait.

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Zayn's P.O.V.

I stopped dead in my tracks in front of the door. Her door. The girl I am hopelessly in love with. I regret everything I said to her that night. She wasn't a mistake, I didn't mean that. I wasn't angry because she was pregnant. I was angry because I thought she had told everyone before me. I apparently was wrong. She tried to tell me. But me in my selfish state, wouldn't hear her out. I was so fucking scared of her trying to take away my career, that I didn't even care what I said. I couldn't keep my shit together. Rhennie was right. We did this. Not just Jess. I should have taken a breath and listened to this amazing girl yelling in my face. I should have already known that she wouldn't make me give up my dream. She would never. I know that now and she knew that all along. I was so god damned scared I had no idea what to do. She, the girl of my dreams, is pregnant with my child. I'm having a baby. I left her when she told me she hated me. When those words left her lips it destroyed me. I had to leave, I had to get out of there. I went to the only place I could think of, Bradford. I had to go talk to my mom. I made management buy me a one way ticket home. I couldn't handle being close to her knowing what I had just done. When I punched the wall I'm sure she was scared shitless. But I would never hurt her. I would never lay a finger on Jess. I was just so mad I had to let it out somehow. We were literally inches from each others faces. So, I lashed out and hit the wall letting all my anger flow into the drywall. When I saw her face as she flinched away from me I was instantly in remorse. She told me to leave and I did. I shouldn't have but I did. I didn't know how to act in a situation like that. When I got home I was a wreck. I told my mom everything and she got me to calm down somehow. She told me that I need to apologize and make it up to Jess in every way possible. That's when Rhennie called me and told me what Jess was going through. It broke me, knowing that I am the cause of her pain. How could I think that she would be fine without me, when I was lost without her? I immediately bought a ticket back to Vienna and to her front door. I don't have a clue what I'm going to see when I walk through that door. But, I have to let her know that I want this. I want her and our baby more than anything in the world. I need her. She has to know that.

I take one more breath and open the door quietly. I don't want to wake her. I don't want her to kick me out even more. The wood of the door brushes across the carpet making a scraping sound and shiny objects bounce across it, catching the light. That's glass. I push the door open more and see the mess Rhenn was talking about. Pieces of ripped up pictures were all along the floor and wooden frames broken in half. There was glass everywhere. The dim light catches the pieces on the floor making it glimmer. I cover my mouth with my hand as tears threaten to spill onto my cheeks. She did this right after I left. I made her destroy ever memory in every picture, I'm a selfish asshole. I look around the room taking it all in. My eyes travel to her bed next to me and I can see her face in the light from the hallway. Her cheeks are sunken in and her chapped lips are slightly parted. Her hair is dull and her eyes are swollen with dark bags under them. She wears a scowl on her face as she sleeps. I walk forward to her side, careful not to step on chunks of glass. The sheets are at her waist and her head is turned towards the wall. I can see her ribs and a little bump starting to form underneath them. I bite my lip to stifle my sobs and my vision is blurry from the tears pouring out of my eyes. What have I done to this beautiful girl? I caused this. I made her this way. How could I let this happen?

I climb in bed next to her and kiss her cheek. My tears fall on to her skin and she stirs in her sleep. She turns her head and her eyes open slightly. I look back at her and see how dark they have become. Full of sadness and anger. She focuses her eyes on me and they suddenly shoot open.

"What the fuck are you doing here!?" She yelps and scoots towards the wall, away from me.

"Jess, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry for everything. I didn't mean any of it. I swear. I love you Jess." I hold my head in my hands as my voice breaks off.

She doesn't say a word. I glance up to her eyes. They are filled with tears and she covers her mouth.

"Babe, I'm here. I'm sorry for leaving. I didn't know where to go after you told me you hated me. I was angry. I don't know what I was thinking." I reach for her hand expecting her to pull away but she doesn't

"You were angry? You didn't know what to do? Imagine being called a mistake." She squeeks.

"I didn't mean it. You aren't a mistake, You never were and never will be. Neither will our baby. I was just so mad when I thought you told everyone before me, I lost it. When I punched that wall I broke 5 knuckles." I lift my cast up to show her. "I thought you were going to make me choose between my career and family. I don't know what was going through my head. It was like I didn't know you at all, when in all reality I know that you wouldn't ever do that. But, I know what I would choose now if I had to."

She looks at me expectantly and I answer her.

"I would choose you and our baby over anything."

She lets out a sob and puts her head down to her knees. I scoot closer to her and pull her into my lap. I kiss her hair and rock her back and forth.

"Jess I love you. I never stopped and I'm willing to sacrifice anything to be with you again. I will prove it to you everyday. I don't know what else I can do." My tears spill on to her shoulder and she reaches her frail arms around my neck hugging me. Shes fucking hugging me right now.

"I love you too Zayn." she whispers into my neck.

I squeeze her tighter and pull away. I take her face into my hands and wipe her tears away with my thumbs. I graze it over the skin on her lip and lean into her. She stares at me and lets her eyes flutter closed. Our lips connect with an instant spark and I explode with happiness and relief.  The kiss was cut all to short when she pulls away. "I didn't mean it when I said I hated you." She caresses my cheek with the back of her hand and I close my eyes at the touch. Reminising under her soft skin.

"I know baby, I know." I whisper and bring her into a hug again. She snuggles into me and I start humming the tune of Learn My Lesson.

She crawls out of my lap and lays her back on to the bed. I scoot down and lay on my side to face her. I reachout to rub her hip and I touch her stomach instead. She looks up at me with nervous eyes. I look down at her, then to her stomach. She grabs my hand carefully and sets it over her stomach. She rests her hand on top of mine and bites her lip. I'm staring at our hands on her stomach and reality hits me. This is really happening. I'm having a child with the love of my life. I will do everything in my power to keep these two happy and loved. I will never ever leave again. I take a leap of faith and remove my hand from her belly. I lean forward and kiss the skin of her stomach. A sob escapes her lips and she rests her hand ontop of my head. "I won't ever leave you again, Jess. I want this more than anything. I love you." I peck her lips and pull her on to my chest. "I love you too Zayn." She whispers.