When I can drown in blood, I can lay on the ground !

"He wants you"

"Hvitserk? What are you doing here?"
He looked at my brother with small eyes. "I'm here to talk to you."
I was confused and yet somehow happy to know that Ivar got my letter.
"Okay... come with me somewhere private." I said, with the last words I looked at my brother. Ohhhh how I hated him right now. He was about to ruin my whole life. Or maybe I was ruining it myself.
Hvitserk and I went into my room and as soon as he closed the door, my arms went around his neck for a tight hug. At first he was surprised but then he relaxed and hugged me back.
"What are you doing here?" I asked him again. I needed to know. Did Ivar want me back? Why didn't he come?
"My brother... Ivar. He got your letter. So, you are pregnant? From him?..." I nodded with a little smile. I couldn't hide it. I was getting exited and happy about the fact that I would become a mother, even if it scared me.
"...so, why didn't you come back? I know you are queen and all that but you have a brother..." I cut him of by steeping back and facing the wall. "No."
"No what?"
I let out a sight. Taking a deep breath and telling him everything. About the pregnancy, the healer and the ultimatum by brother made for me. His eyes got bigger and his mouth opened more than once.
"Now it's really good that Ivar didn't come. He would kill your brother right away.... okay okay. Mhhh. What are you going to do? I mean it's probably the only kid Ivar is gonna have and you are the first woman he actually is happy with..... don't tell him I said that."
I couldn't hide my smile. He was happy with me?
Wait no! I, myself had to get it together. I would never have allowed feelings. Why now?
"I don't know, Hvitserk. I..I want it. I do. And I want it with Ivar but I..I don't know. I have never done anything else, you know, besides being the queen and stuff. I would still have the army because my brother can't control it but it probably also for the best. Where would the kid grow up, mh? If it here it won't have a father but it's also a 2 till 3 days trip to get back and forth.... the only thing I can do is go to Kattegat."
I was walking back and forth in the room, trying to hide my tears, that was building in my eyes. "He wants you."
What? I looked up to see a lie in Hvitserks eyes but there was nothing, just blue.
He must have seen my confused look, because he started to explain.
"He does want you... and the kid. More than anything. He regrets it so much not to have opened the letter as soon as you sent it but he was scared that you would have written that you didn't want him. I was there.  Now it's just on you. Do you want to stay here or go home we're you can build a Familie?"
My heart melted when he told me about the oh, so horrible Ivar.
I had to decide now.
And I already knew.

"Okay Hvitserk. You go back to the beginning of the woods, okay?" He just nodded waiting for my commands. "Wait for me till..." I looked outside to see how far the sun was going down.
".. the sun is half way down. If I'm not there something happened okay?" He nodded again.
I couldn't contain myself and I hugged him. It was a fast but warm and he smiled as I pulled away. "Of the eye of Odin this baby makes me weak."
He laughed stepping outside.