When I can drown in blood, I can lay on the ground !

First battle for kattegat

P.O.V Lilith

everyone was on their feet. the adrenalin and stress rushing through my body. even fear was planted in my mind.
My whole life has somehow lead to this moment. This time of life.
The excitement of harm and torture was written on their faces. The cruelty every Viking had in their hearts, including me, was frightening.
My sword was swinging smoothly in my hand. The sharp edges cutting the air in 1000 pieces.
2 days had gone by. And today was the day. The battle was thick in our heads. My body was trembling. I was scared to see Ivar and yet I wanted to feel him near me, no matter his feelings.  I looked at myself in the mirror. I haven't chanced much the last years, besides a few new scars, tattoos along my arms and much longer hair, which was in a tight braid. My clothes fitting my body movement perfectly.

I stepped outside. immediately being met by vikings, standing  up proud. I played with my dagger, in my hands. throwing it forth and back. The sun was beginning so rise over the dark muddy ground. The air smells like dirt and fire. I walked further, to meet Hvitserk. I was surprised to see him. In all the time I had been here, I did not see him. Not even once. I still thought he was on Ivars side. Now Ivar was all alone. Ever since my story started, Hviserk was my friend. I loved him and his way of thinking, but now, I did not know how to approach him.  Before I was able to turn around and find Björn or just another familiar face, Hvitserks noticed me. leaving me struck. We both didn't move, not knowing what to say if we met in the middle. My heart bumped my blood faster in my veins. Before anything could happen, I turned around and walked towards the house of the silversmith.                                                                                            
"please, sharpen my dagger."

we stud side by side. our swords, axes, bows and daggers all in our hands.
Everybody's faces were painted white. making their faces more scary then usual. No one was showing any sign of fear or regret. Something I have learned over the years is that, vikings are cruel and ruthless. we stud without any movement. the walls of kattegat were high and in a blurry vision I could sense the hundreds of vikings waiting  for a bloody fight. Both sides not doubting they will win.                                                                                                                                     Björn was staring right ahead and that's when I saw him.  Ivar is standing on top of the wall, right by the gate. My heart stopped. I wanted him beside me, but I could not chance my position.

all of a sudden Björn yelled up, making everyone ready. they grabbed tighter around their weapons. one hand through the hair or beard. their breath was heavy. I would dictate the last troupe, my soldiers. They would do the final run, when Björn would get through the gate. they started running towards the high wooden walls. everyone.

Björn ordered the protection around him and a few men, so they could break open the gate. It was working. the door was breaking slowly. all of a sudden, huge fire flames crashes down on them. I held my breath. men started screaming from all direction. trying to get up on the high walls. others shooting arrows. the fire flames burned down on them again and again. My men and I were now closer to the happening. I knew how this would end. People are always underestimating Ivar. over and over again. He might be a cripple but his mind is extraordinary. I saw to my right. Hedrud, a young boy, was nervously looking around. I ran through the sweaty men to reach him. "Hey!!!" He looked at me, he wanted to bow. "We ain't got time for formalities. listen, I know this is going to sound bad and you might even lose you trust and faith in me, but we are losing. you hear me? that's why I need you to find all young men under 19, and get home as soon as possible. you will all achieve great honor, but we need you in the next fight. understood?" I asked him or rather commanded him. after some hesitation he started running, gathering  young men. I had no idea why I was commanding him to do so. but somehow they all reminded me of how my son would be.

later, Björn was able to get though the gate, but was met by hundreds warriors from Ivar, standing ready to kill them off. I was not with them inside, as I helped the wounded and cleaned up the horrible mess. Björn, Hvitserk and the other survivors somehow managed to get out, by jumping over the walls, back to the hard, dirty ground. They grunted in pain. I ran over to them and helped them up. That's when I saw Ivar. Close and real. He was already watching my every move. His blue eyes stopped my heart. His facial features were still. He always amazed me. The way he was cold and heartless, but filled with sadness.

"RETREAT!!! RETREAT!!!" Björn yelled from the top of his lungs. Men started running. Running for their life's just as they ran for victory. Ivar and his men started to sheer, in satisfaction. I slowly walked backwards, but Björn still stud in front of the Walls, he took a breath and I stopped walking, as he said the words:
"You know who I am! I am björn ironside, son of Ragnar. I grew up with many of you. You were my neighbors, my friends, we bread together when we were children..." Björns voice broke more than Once. Ivars face hardened, his men lowering their weapons. "...Ivar is your enemy." Ivar started laughing. But Björn continued, wanting to hit where it hurt. "He rules over you with tyranny and cruelty! He wants to destroy everything my father has built..." Björn argued, but that's when Ivar interrupted. Letting me hear his voice after 4 years of silence. "He is lying!" But he wasn't even able to convince himself, so he found a arrow and shot at Björn, who protected himself. "You know me." He whispered. A tear rolled down my eye, knowing that this hatred and heartbreak and misery between the brothers would never stop.
Björn turned around, giving me a small look before walking away. I was placed in the ground, I stud there for a long time. Watching Ivars facade fade. He was hurt. Who wasn't at this point?

We had lost this fight. Letting people down and die. Seeing loved once and old friends turn into our enemy. Our hearts had been broken many times. There was nothing left keeping us sane.