When I can drown in blood, I can lay on the ground !

Second battle of Kattegat

POV Lilith
The defeat laid heavy in the air. Men were tired, injured or dead. We had been so close to victory, we could smell it.
I had lost count of the years that had gone by, but watching myself in the elongated mirror, I felt old. I had still my clothes on from battle and there was still blood on my sword and on my face. I had forgotten both the face of my son and my Ivar. But it all came back when I saw ivar above me. Looking down with the same blue eyes our son had.
I felt stupid. I had more than once thought about ending it all. Starting all over in Valhalla. Being with my family and friends again. But the urge had never been stronger than now. I could stop the tears from falling, I didn't want to. I had held them in for so long.
It had all been my fault. I was the one who went to Kattegat all those years ago, the one who got pregnant, the one who fell in love, the one who left her brother alone, to live an illusion, just to throw it all away again.
Sometimes I was unsure of why I did what I did and sometimes my anger towards ivar disappears as I forget what he did.
I was pulled out of my thoughts when a servant asked me to join the others for a briefing. I did. And they all looked as terrible as I felt.
They kept on talking about what to do next and their plan of attack. It would happen in a few weeks when they had strengthened their army again. Which I agreed with a nod.
As I sat on my bed that night all I could think about was my son. My beautiful little boy, who now was a young man just like the dream I had many years ago. Maybe it had been a warning after all. Odin letting me see what my son would become.
I started writing a letter. The world just rushed out of me. I needed him to know everything, even if I couldn't tell him in person.

3 weeks later
The battle of Kattegat had come.
All our men, and women, were ready. Makeup in their face, bloodlust in their eyes. My daggers hung neatly at my waist, my sword in my hand.
As the sun rose, casting its golden light over the battlefield, the clash of steel echoed across the land. Björns warriors surged forward with a fierce determination, their battle cries sounding through the air. I are men stood resolute, their shields forming a wall.
Neither side was willing to yield. Swords flashed, axes swung and arrows soared through the air, each strike bringing death and destruction in its wake. Björn fought with unmatched ferocity. He was unstoppable. Even when he was caught in the thick of the fighting and got struck down by a fierce blow. I had no opportunity to help as I was fighting my own way through. And before I even had the chance to look toward Björn again he rose once more, his wound forgotten as he led his warriors in a final push against Ivars men. Ivar was nowhere to be seen. I wanted him in front of me. I wanted to see him in the eyes.
But instead I got Hvitserk?
It was as if time stood still. He was onde I though my best friend once.
Within a second his sword was drawn and I knew he would strike, but I was mistaken. He killed a man I had not seen coming.
I had no time to reflect but it seemed he had turned against Ivar and was now fighting on Björns side. I was glad to see him. To fight beside him again.

It was not long before we breached the walls, chaos erupted the city. I could imagine Ivars eyes filled with fury and desperation, as he watched his constructed empire begin to crumble. Amidst the chaos, our gaze remained fixed on one goal: finding Ivar.
We reached the great hall. The hall I had known well. Memories of late night parties and stolen glances with Ivar.
Its doors shattered and its walls scorched by the fires of battle. A few guard miserable tried to hold us back, but died trying. Björn strode forward, his eyes scanning the hall for any sign of his brother.
But Ivar, the master of survival, had anticipated this moment. Björn and Hvitserk pushed into the hall, they found it as empty as me. The only thing being heard were the cries from the battle outside. He had vanished, slipped away midst the chaos, like the cunning man he is.
But what we found instead was heartbreaking. On his bed laid a dead woman and the skull of a child. My heart felt heavy. This could have been me. It is me.
He removed my son as well. He made me die. Or at least feel like it.
I stood behind the two brothers just watching the dead family and the disgust and sadness on the brothers faces.
Shortly after they wanted to leave. Get the away from this mess. Björn was king now. The king of Kattegat. He won. I felt happy for him. He did deserve it.
"You coming?" He asked, after he noticed I hadn't moved. "No. Go ahead."
Ivar had left. He ran away and I couldn't stop now. I had to find him. I also didn't have the energy to celebrate Björns victory and the whole ceremony.
I left the hall through the back entrance, taking a fast look at the square.
Bjorn stood at the center of the square, his sword held high, a symbol of their hard-won freedom. People were cheering and I knew Lagertha was coming towards him with something in her hands.
I turned around. Walking towards a dark horse standing alone by a tree.
"Hey there, pretty boy." I whispered to it. I wished misha was here to help me, but for now this horse would have to do.
"You have to help me find someone."
I jumped up its back, sitting straight. That's when I noticed a burning sensation on my thigh. I tried to ignore it as focus on the task at hand.
Finding Ivar.
Killing him.