When I can drown in blood, I can lay on the ground !

I want revenge

the wind was blowing in my face, pulling my hair back. I still had half an hour on horse.

The hard wood door looked intimidating. I went in, not thinking it is necessary to knock.
As I stepped into the warm, large room, I met 10 eyes. Either in fear or utter disbelief.
"I have heard you are queen again?" A sweet and beautiful voice, I have always admired, said. Then I saw her. Lagertha. The beauty. And she wasn't alone. Her handsome son was right at her side.
She commanded the people in the room to leave. Leaving me and them standing in front of each other alone.
"Queen. Wouldn't thought you ever come here. I have heard you have accomplished great things." Lagertha said. She walked closer to me with a smile, and I gratefully shock her arm.
"Yes. I have taken my rightful throne." I admitted. "Come, sit down." She commanded. I took a look at Björn, he was looking at me as well. We sat down at the wooden table and Lagertha poured us all some wine.
"Now, tell me, I wan to know, what did you do to make your name known again?" Björn suddenly asked. I took a sip of my wine. It was bitter and warmed my body.
"Measures I haven't had in mind..." I said. Emptying my cup.
„now. Tell me what you want?!" Lagertha commanded. I took a deep breath and looked her in the eyes.
"I have made mistakes in my life. I know that and I will try to fix them. One of them.... was trusting Ivar. He deserves nothing, from what he got... and that's why I'm here."
I leaned back in the chair and took a deep breath.
They looked at me like they didn't really understand or trust what I was saying.
"I want him to suffer. I want him to lose everything that was dear to him. He does not deserve Kattegat, he is not the rightful king... Björn is." I said serious.
Lagertha took a deep breath. "I respect you Lilith, but I don't believe you. You love him and you have even got a child with him. So, how can it be that you are turning your back on him now?"
When she mentioned my son, my heart chattered in thousand of pieces again.
"I understand. I get it.... but, things have changed. People chance... he doesn't deserve anything." I took a deep breath. And came with all the facts I got. "I got 300 loyal men, 150 horses, 80 bows and arrows, and I know you got quite a few men as well. Ivar, has had problems with the Christians in the north and south, which could be a great advantage for us."
"Okay? But I am not gonna agree to anything, as long as I don't know, why your loyalty has faded." Lagertha said, serious. I knew I had to tell her everything. Or else I would never get a chance to get pay back.
"As you know, I have taken back my kingdom. Before I left I had a three year old son and a fiancé and friends I loved. They promised to be there when I would come back with a better future in my pocket, but in reality, my fiancé send my little son away to the mountains, without my permission, to some witch I don't know and I will never see  him again, at least not as my son." One single tear rolled down my face. The room got quite. Until lagertha spoke up. " I understand your pain. And if that's your final thought, I will be ready to make a plan with you, but don't expect me to trust you, and if you do just the slightest to doubt my decision, I will kill you."
I just nodded. Knowing that I would do the exact same to her.

Before Ivar I never trusted anyone. I can't be weak. I got nothing to lose. Nothing to chance my mind. I have to be ruthless. Let the dark side take over. I have to let my anger guide me.