When I can drown in blood, I can lay on the ground !

Night of dreams

"Honey? Oh my baby wake up." A soft known voice woke me up. I opened my eyes. Still sleepy. My heart stopped... "mom?"
She looked at me with a smile. She was more beautiful than ever. She looked like an angel.
"Yes baby. Come with me. I want to show you something." She held out her hand, for me to take it. My mind tried to tell me not to go with her, but my heart missed her. And it was the first time I haven't seen her in a nightmare.
I took my hand in hers.

She walked me out of my room. Walked through the hallways. My feet should have gotten cold by the freezing floor, but I felt nothing.
"Mom? Where are you taking me?" I asked her being insecure about what I should think, and I hated myself for not just enjoying holding my mothers hand.
"You are worrying too much. Don't worry. I will show you who you are..." she didn't look at me.

We stopped in front of a door I had never seen before. It was big, red and the doorknob was covered in gold.
My mother pushed me in front of her to open the door.

I couldn't breath when I saw them. My father, my brother , and Edwin. I wanted to cry, but I knew I shouldn't. They just looked at me.

"These people, honey, they were everything to you, but you lost them. 1 of them you killed yourself. You loved them, and lost them. But you didn't just lose them, did you? No, you lost me too. And you lost your son, who you loved more than all of them together, and you lost a man you loved, who betrayed you... all I wanna say is that: you got nothing to lose. You have no one to lose. Nothing. And that's why you have to be stronger than you are now. You have become week. And you know I have always adores your good heart but it's no good use now. There is a war to win. And you have to kill many men. And when everything is over you might even have something worth finding: a son.... and happiness.
So please honey.... win this battle against yourself....

You got no one to lose!"