When I can drown in blood, I can lay on the ground !

"Your choice."

p.o.v ivar
and there it was. a letter. from Lilith. I was afraid to open it. hvitserk laughed when I got the letter and closed my eyes. I had secretly hoped for her to write me and now she did.

P.o.v Lilith
I had to write him. I wasn't allowed to make the decision, if I should keep the baby or not. After I knew that I was pregnant I didn't know what to do. At some point I wanted to keep it but in others, I didn't think it was the best timing the gods had. I didn't want to admit it but I was scared.

After 5 days of not hearing from him I didn't know what to do. I didn't know how he felt. If he wanted the baby or not. I knew nothing and I hated it. I was sitting at the table looking down at my plate full of food.
"I need to talk to you!" I said to my brother not looking up. But I could feel his intense stare.
"Okay?"
Another thing I didn't know was if he would get mad. It's not often I see him mad but when he is I can get scared of him.
"The gods have given me something. I'm not sure if I want to keep it or not...."
Somehow it was hard for me to get it out.
"What is it!?!" He said laying down his fork.
"I'm pregnant."

He didn't say anything. He just looked up. His jaw clenched and sometimes it looked like he wanted to say something but he didn't.
After minutes of silence he lost it. He threw his plate on the ground making me jump. "Are you serious?! Pregnant?!? Why?! Why would... how? What?"
"Calm down. It's not like it something bad." I got cut off. "Nothing BAD?! You know that if that thing inside of you is a boy we will lose the throne, right?!" He yelled. I stud up, not being able to sit down anymore. "you serious? Even if, it would take 20 years before he would be ready to get on the throne and till then you will be dead!" I didn't believe what he said. How could he be so selfish. "Oh sister how wrong you are... who is the father?" His voice was getting quieter which just made him seem more intimidating.
"Ivar..."
"IVAR THE BONELESS????" I nod. "From all the men in the word my stupid sister decides to get pregnant from the most un-human cripple in the word." He started to laugh. Not because it was funny but because he didn't know what else to do. Ivar had emotions. He didn't show them but they were there. He had anger. A lot of it. That's an emotion.
"Let me tell you something SISTER. You will have 2 choices. One: you get the kid but will not be the queen anymore and just lead and decide about the army or two: you don't get the kid and will still be queen." What??? Did he mean that. Holy shit. He did. Okay okay okay. All that so he won't lose the throne and that his son own will become king one day...
"You have 5 days to decide. Not one day more!"
With those words he left leaving me in disbelief. I went to my room and started crying not knowing what to do.