Obsessive, Compulsive.

Eighteen.

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I ran into her arms.

She flinched, leaning her entire weight into the hug. Her body felt like a feather. My arms wrapped all the way around her, almost meeting back at my shoulders. "Hi. You miss me?" Antonia's voice was rough and slightly scratchy against my shoulder.

"Are you okay?" I fretted, still deep in the hug.

She pulled back weakly and blinked at me. "I'm fine. Are you okay? You look like you've seen a ghost."

It felt almost like I had.

Footsteps hurried towards us and Jay's voice appeared. "Antonia! You feeling better?"

She nodded unconvincingly.

I turned and looked hard at Jay. He gulped some air and looked straight back at me. Smiling softly, he ran his hand through his hair. He turned to Antonia. "Glad to see you're fine."

"Yeah..." She stared at both of us suspiciously. "What's up with you guys?"

Frustrated, I scowled at the floor. It was just a kiss. Why was Jay looking at me like that? It's not like he proposed marriage to me, we just squished our faces together for a moment. Why did people make kissing such a big deal?

When she realised that we weren't going to say anything while we were together, Antonia gestured down the hall. "Come on, Bella. Let's go to my room for a bit before the staff get in from the van and start questioning me. See you at dinner, Jay."

Normally I would have disagreed to follow her knowing that she wanted to talk about me, but I thought that maybe I could get some answers out of her. I nodded and we walked down the hall, Antonia leaning against me slightly for weight.

"See you later!" Jay called to us, looking directly at me.

I stayed quiet.

As soon as we got in her room and closed the door she sat heavily on her bed and looked at me. "What the hell happened while I was gone? I leave for a few hours and you and Jay end up all weird."

I shrugged. It was better to tell the truth. "We kissed."

"What?" Antonia's jaw dropped. "Why?"

"Because we both hadn't had our first kiss." I shrugged again. "We were playing truth or dare on the balcony... It was kinda gross, to be honest."

Antonia rubbed her skeletal hands over her face and sighed. "What about Robbie?"

"What about him?" I frowned.

"Didn't you want him to be your first kiss?" She asked, exasperated.

I thought about it. "No. Not really."

Antonia lay back on her bed and stared at the ceiling. "I don't get it. You're a clever girl but sometimes you're so fucking stupid."

"What do you mean?" I got slightly defensive.

"You and Robbie clearly like each other! Clearly! Everyone can fucking see it except you guys. It's so frustrating." She sighed.

"I don't like him. He's just my best friend." I bit my lip. "I don't know what else you want me to tell you."

Antonia sat up and yawned. "I don't want you to tell me anything. It's alright. You've just surprised me, that's all. Are you going to tell Robbie?"

I shook my head. Something felt wrong about telling Robbie. It felt like more stress that he definitely didn't need.

Antonia gave me a knowing look and ran her hand through her thinning hair. "You know... They pumped me full of calories in the hospital." Her voice was slightly shaky.

"Why?" I asked, fully knowing the reason.

She glared at her feet. "They want me to get fat. They're jealous of me because I'm losing weight."

"I think they were just trying to make sure you were healthy after you fainted." I was uneasy.

"It's okay for you..." She looked up at me, her eyes dark. "You're skinny."

Speechless, I looked at my own slim legs for a moment before looking over at her deathly deprived body. She looked like she could snap as easy as a twig, as if holding her hands could break all of her fingers.

"What?" She snapped.

I had never heard her speak like that. Especially not to me. My hands shook slightly, my heart beating too fast for my chest. "I... I think you look great." My voice didn't sound as sincere as I hoped.

"You're telling me that you like the fat look?" She folded her arms and looked out of the window.

"No. I like your look." I was honest, more earnest this time. "I promise."

Antonia stopped. She softened and stood up, hobbling over and falling into my arms. My shoulder started to feel wet. I realized she was crying. Her voice wavered. "I need to tell you something."

"What?" I frowned, hugging her tighter.

"I've been throwing up my meals." She sobbed into my arms, yearning for breath. "And... I'm only telling you because Robbie saw and we spoke about it and he's probably torn up about whether he tells staff or keeps my trust as a friend. I don't want to make him feel worse. He doesn't need that. I wouldn't tell you if he didn't know because I'm fine but it's just him."

I thought for a moment. "I think he was going to tell me about it earlier. But he started panicking about it and went off to his room." 

Antonia looked at me. "So you mean to tell me that Robbie was worried about something and you went and kissed his friend?"

I hadn't thought of it like that. "No... It's just a kiss, I mean... Come on. Are you serious?" I stumbled over my words.

"We're sorting things out right now." Antonia took my hand. "Come on. You're telling Robbie that you kissed Jay and I'm telling staff that I threw up my food. We need to fucking get a grip of our lives. Come on."

And so within the next few minutes I was alone in a room with Robbie.