Obsessive, Compulsive.

Fifteen.

The next few days at Saltridge Wood was much of the same. We all sat around all day and talked, sometimes going into the Lesson Room to have school. I started to build friendships, especially with Eve, Antonia and Robbie. Every night at visiting hours I'd have a few awkward conversations with my family and go and sit with Robbie.

I'm making it sound like I enjoyed my stay, which I certainly did not. Something about being stuck inside all day under watch felt like I was in prison, being punished for my own insanity. I'd have given anything to go home. There was just a constant underlying tone of distress: people crying in the corridors and such like. Every so often, you'd catch a glimpse of why everyone else was in there. It was sickening.

I saw what Antonia was like four days into my stay. We were talking about Saturdays, and what everyone did on them.

"Well," She grinned excitedly at me. "On one Saturday a month they buy some hair dye and some of us dye our hair. They'll be doing it tomorrow. Do you want me to dye your hair? I'll have to bleach it first."

I ran my hands through my dark hair. "What colour?"

"That's not up to me." She laughed.

"What do you think would look good?" I asked.

"Probably blue." She suggested. "It'd bring out your eyes."

I nodded, making a mental note about that. We sat in silence for a bit as I looked at my chipped nail polish. "Can you repaint my nails?" I asked her. "Maybe blue to match my new hair!"

She didn't respond.

I looked up. "Antonia?"

She had gone completely pale and white. Her skin had lost all sense of colour and her skinny limbs relaxed slightly. Slowly, her eyes started spinning, lost in their own focus. I hesitated, not entirely sure what to do. She just sat there looking completely out of it.

Nervous, I looked around the room for any intruders. What was happening? Was this my fault? Was I doing this? It must have been me.

"Antonia?" My voice was shaky. Her eyes were closed now. She looked almost like a corpse, deathly skinny and skull-like. "Antonia. What's wrong?"

Silent.

Quietly, I stood up and walked over to her. I took my fingers and tapped my chipped nails all over her body, four times on each limb. I wanted to make sure she was safe.

Despite my disturbance, she lay still. She felt rough and papery, almost like she'd wear away at my touch. It was like the whole house lost noise and life. Colour almost drained from the walls as fast as it had drained from Antonia.

I took this moment to look at her. After hanging out with her for a while your eyes would glaze over the fact that she was so thin. Her legs had about the same circumference as my arms, and my arms were relatively skinny as it was. Her skin was dull and lacked any shine and her hair was thin and raggedy.

Her body clearly didn't have enough to survive.

It was then that I realised what I was doing. I was just standing there. I needed to tell someone what had happened.

Swiftly, I stepped out into the hallway and looked around. A figure made his way down towards me, stopping a few feet in front of me. It was Jay.

"You look like you've seen a ghost." He smirked. "What's up?"

"I..." I couldn't get the words out. "Come here."

He did I said, following me into the lounge. As soon as he saw Antonia's limp body he turned and sprinted back towards the kitchen. After muffled yelling he returned with Alice and another member of staff. Alice bent over Antonia and felt for breathing.

"She's okay." Alice nodded, hiding the panic in her voice. "She's going to be okay... I think we should call an ambulance."

"Haven't you been feeding her?" Jay said angrily.

"Yes! I don't know what's happening! She's been putting on weight." The male staff member said. "She might have been throwing it back up, though. That's what could cause this."

Alice turned to him. "You're her social worker! You should know exactly what she's doing! If you had any inclination that she was throwing food back up you should have done something."

"Yeah, well. I am doing something now." He pulled out his phone and started dialling. It took a moment before he started speaking again. "Hello, yes. Ambulance please. Saltridge Wood Youth Mental Health Facility. Someone has fainted."

As he spoke, Jay put his hand on my shoulder. "You alright?"

I shook my head.

Alice picked Antonia up from the couch like she was a feather and lay her gently on the floor. She pushed her into the recovery position and felt her head for temperature.

As the man still spoke on the phone and Jay stood there in shock, I lay down on the floorboards next to Antonia and took her soft hand in mine.

I watched her shallow breathing for a while, making sure that she was still alive until the ambulance got there.