Obsessive, Compulsive.

Thirteen.

Kai wouldn't speak to me when he came back in the room. He looked disappointed and sad and angry. Mum and Dad had kept up the conversation happily and pretended nothing was happening. They acted like we were just at home and everything was normal. We chatted excitedly about Adrianna's baby until they had to go.

When they left later that night, I crawled into bed early and cried.

Antonia came knocking at my door after the ending of visiting hours, but I ignored her. Everyone that walked past my room whispered to one another sympathetically. Even Eve had whispered through the cracks of the door. "Goodnight. I'll sit with you at breakfast tomorrow."

I didn't sleep at all that night. It was not my own bed, not my own comfort and not my own four walls. Nothing was mine anymore. Not even my own mind.

From all the way in the Acute Ward, I could hear Robbie shouting. He sounded really angry, yelling furiously. There was a loud bang, like the sound of a wall being punched, and everything fell quiet. After a few minutes, an exasperated voice whispered to whoever they were walking with. "Fucking hell... That kid. What are we going to do with him...? Do you want a coffee?"

I heard Alice's voice reply. "I can't. Corey will be here to pick me up soon."

"Ah, leaving me so soon, are you?" The voice chuckled. I heard a movement, and I peeked up through the glass window in my door. A male staff member I didn't recognise was standing there with Alice. She looked intensely uncomfortable.

He reached and hand over and touched her butt, smiling. Alice turned bright red, moving out of his arm's distance. "I have to..." she said before being trailing off.

"You want to keep this job," he said softly. "Then you have to keep that mouth shut. Okay?"

She took a shaky breath before nodding quickly.

The male staff member walked down the corridor, and Alice stayed frozen until she was certain he was gone. I knocked on my door to quietly to get her attention. She turned around and noticed me, her skin turning white. Immediately, she walked  towards the door and unlocked it, letting herself into my bedroom.

Her eyes were blinking away tears. "Bella... Are you okay?"

"I'm fine!" I insisted. "How are you? He just touched you up! Who is that? Is that your husband?"

"No! That's not Corey. That guy's my boss. The branch manager. Don't worry about it. Don't tell anyone, either." Alice tried to sound calm.

I protested. "But he-"

"I could lose my job." Alice raised an eyebrow. "A job that I love. So please, don't mention it again. Just go to sleep."

After a pause, I nodded. "Okay."

"Thanks." She brushed her fingers through her hair to compose herself.

"How's Robbie?" I whispered.

She sighed. "He's a bit agitated tonight."

"Can I go and see him?" I asked.

After a hesitation, Alice shook her head and left the room, saying something quickly as she left. "Go to sleep. Goodnight."

••••••

I still couldn't sleep. Until the sun came up, I was counting each breath up to four and then going back down to zero.

People were crying softly in the rooms next to me. It was terrifying. Like some kind of creepy asylum movie. I found myself listening out in case I could hear anyone I knew.

Something about staying awake knowing that people you cared about were alone in their rooms without someone looking after them when they needed it was really eye-opening. I was worried about Antonia. Did she have anything in there that she could hurt herself with?

Until the sun rose, I was anxious.

It was eerie, as soon as light appeared over the hills and sank through the windows, everything fell silent.

As soon as it felt socially acceptable, I pulled on some leggings and one of Kai's old band t-shirts before adventuring out into the hallway. Makeup from yesterday sat smudged on my cheeks. My thin red slippers padded along the floor until I reached the kitchen.

"You're not supposed to be here, Bella." Bill turned around, wearing an apron with various food splatters on it. "What are you doing up this early?"

I shrugged.

"Couldn't sleep?" He smiled. "Happens to everyone on the first night. Don't worry, you'll settle in in no time. You've done very well so far."

I wanted to tell him about Alice and how that branch manager treated her, but I didn't want Alice to lose her job like she said.

"You're not very talkative today, are you?" Bill smiled. "You'll want an early night, won't you hon?"

"Maybe." I couldn't think of anything worse than being stuck in that room in the dark for another night.

"Did you bring any books to read?" He asked, turning back round to continue washing the dishes. "That can help."

"No... I struggle reading." I frowned, embarrassed. "It's the pages."

"What about them?" He questioned.

"I have to touch them all four times and skip every page number with a six."  My heart thumped against my chest as I said that number out loud, immediately tapping my feet four times to stop myself getting murdered.

"That's a real shame. I'd suggest a kindle, but you're not allowed them here." Bill sighed.

"Why not?"

He paused. "We had a kid a couple of years ago who smashed his in his room and used the glass to self harm. We nearly lost him. I'd hate for that to happen to you."

"I don't self harm." I told him.

"Well." He nodded. "That's good... Hey, Bell, the staff are going to go and wake everyone up in a minute. Do you want to go and help?"

Hesitating slightly, I looked at the ground.

"You'll get to go and yell and cause a scene and annoy everyone. Doesn't that sound like fun?" He joked. "I love doing that every morning."

"Can I go in the acute ward and get Robbie?" I asked.

Bill thought about it for a moment. He twinkled his eyes at me. "Alright. I've got to come with you, though. Just so I know there isn't any funny business going on."

Quickly, I pulled a face. "Eww! Not Robbie!"

He grinned. "It's cute that you call him that."

"Is it?"

"Yes." He smiled, taking off his rubber gloves. "Come on. Let's go and find a Robert."