Obsessive, Compulsive.

Three.

No matter how hard Alice tried that night, I wouldn't tell her anything. I was done telling people things. She wasn't giving up and ended up staying until Kai and Ashley got home. We were sitting on the sofa when they arrived. I flinched as soon as the door opened, and Alice took my hand. She looked at me. "It's alright. It's your brother."

I took a deep breath and tapped my feet against the carpet four times. Alice nodded at me, providing slight encouragement. What if the person at the door was the shadow person sent to kill me by the voices in my head? What if I hadn't done everything right yesterday, and- okay, I needed to shut up. That was all so irrational. What was wrong with me?

"Hello!" Kai walked into the room, acting slightly clumsier than usual. "Hi, Alice."

"Good evening." Alice smiled. "I see you've been enjoying being home."

Ashley appeared, rolling her eyes. "He's had one too many beers."

Alice chuckled. "I can see that."

I took a huge gulp of air. Drinking terrified me. Imagine not being in control. Kai wasn't in control right now. Did that bother him? Quickly, I touched my wrist four times on each arm. Would I be able to count like that if I was drunk and not in control? Probably not. I needed control.

Kai chuckled. "Well, Sierra and Dylan have always been bad influences on me. Besides, what's wrong with having a couple of drinks with your friends?" I mumbled something, and Kai softened. "Are you alright, Bell? Is something bothering you?"

Should I tell the truth, or just lie to keep everyone happy? Which mattered most to me: my wellbeing or everyone else's?

"No." I sighed. "Nothing's bothering me."

There was a moment of silence, and Alice took this as a cue to stand up and wrap her coat around her thin body. "Now you two are here I should probably be off. I've got an appointment with someone early tomorrow morning so I need some sleep. Is that ok?" Alice asked me.

I nodded, lying once again. It would probably be okay if I could just hurry up and get into my room as soon as Alice left. "I'll see you soon." My reply sounded shaky, making me almost want to punch myself in the face. Couldn't I sound sincere at least once?

"See you soon." Alice didn't seem to notice my uncertainty, and after a few more goodbyes she was gone.

Swiftly, I walked towards the stairs and got ready to hide in my room without a second glance. I wanted to get away from Kai while he was drunk. Two people fell silent behind me. I could almost feel them looking at me. My heart started bursting and I started sprinting up the stairs in nervousness. As I ran, my thoughts got confused and twisted and confused and muddled. In a reflection of this, as I reached the top, my feet tangled and I tripped and hit the floor. I watched myself in the full length mirror in the hallway, my long, straight brown hair floating out behind me before I hit the ground. My mouth collided with the top step, my tooth crunching and splitting through my bottom lip. The taste of blood flowed into my mouth, and I blinked off the bitter sting.

Cautiously, I lifted my head to look at myself in the mirror. I had bitten clean through my bottom lip. Blood was dribbling down my chin, and my skin had become almost transparent. Dark smudges tainted my eyes, making me look like I could pass for a dead body. Dazed from the fall, I tried to use my wobbly arms to push myself back up. Footsteps rushed behind me, as I desperately tried to get up to run away.

"Hey, hey! You okay?" Ashley's voice said behind me. I turned round and managed to sit on the step. The scarlet red blood dripping onto my baggy sweater matched her beautiful red hair. "Jesus Christ." She gasped at my lip, raising a hand to her mouth.

Kai followed, quickly appearing with the same reaction. "Fuck, Bella! You're going to need stitches on that. I'm driving you to the emergency room."

"You're drunk, asshole, you can't take her!" Ashley frowned at him. "I'll take her."

"I'm coming with you." He insisted.

"Don't embarrass me, though. Don't let the doctors know that you're drunk." She warned him. Great, now I was causing friction between my brother and his girlfriend. I was ruining everyone's relationships. They stared at each other for a moment, and Ashley stiffened. "Fuck you, I'm not happy with you at the moment."

"Where is this coming from?" Kai protested. "I'm allowed to drink if I want to. I'm an adult, dude."

"Go hang out with that girl from that party. She seemed pretty nice. She'd let you drink, wouldn't she?"

A silence overcame us, and I looked at Kai. What girl? "Ash, I..." I spoke up.

"No. It's fine." She didn't even look at me. "Come on, get in the car."

I looked desperately at Kai. "What girl?"

"Be quiet, Bella." He told me, walking downstairs towards the front door. Both of them had left me to get up alone, so I pulled my weak body up and hobbled down the stairs. My mouth felt like it was on fire, and I could feel how wet with blood my skin was. When we reached the car, Kai held the door for me. I noticed that he didn't do the same for Ashley. "Why did you suddenly run upstairs like that anyway?" Kai asked as Ashley started the engine.

I shrugged. "I... I thought I heard my phone ringing."

"Your phone is broken." His voice sounded angry.

And that was the last thing that was said until we reached the hospital.