Euphoria || Luke Hemmings [on hold]

Chapter 6

I felt completely pathetic and utterly weak.

But this feeling didn't stop me from running. Whoever ran out of the dressing room to follow me, wasn't giving up.

I was sure I ran across and around the venue for about 15 minutes.

I looked for an unlocked door, twisting and turning each knob before the person behind me could catch up.

With a click, one finally opened. I quickly shuffled inside hitting my leg on the door as I tried to close it as fast as I possibly could. The door closed with a minor creak. I cringed. Hopefully whoever's following me didn't hear that.

My hand ran over the wall next to me searching for a switch. My finger tips skimmed over the cold surface as I found flicked the light on. I took a deep breath trying to keep the tears from falling.

Why was I even crying? I'm overreacting. I sniffled as I slid down the door and sat on the floor. I wiped my the wet tears that we're falling down my face with my palm.

Oh god. I am pathetic. Here I am sobbing, in an empty dressing room, in the middle of the venue, after I ran out of a room with a band. With the fact that the reason I ran out was that I was being a little bitch and a freak by whining about a dumb phone. I phone, in their eyes, which could be fixed with just one step. But no, I had to ramble and make everything a disaster and then just nicely run out. My grandma used to say "Don't let other people ruin your happiness, even the people you love"

Well it works out that I don't have the problem of letting other people ruin my happiness. I already ruin my own. I sniffled trying to pull myself together. I can't believe that my phone was the cause of a scene. I could have just been like "Yeah it's fine, but no." I over thought everything. I just had to look like some mental case.

I was still trying to stop myself from crying when I heard footsteps approaching. I've been in here for like 20 minutes.

I covered my mouth with my hand.

Then came a quiet knock of my door.

"Mavery, Mavery I know you're in there."

I stayed quiet. Hopefully they would just walk away.

Another knock came.

"Mavery. Please."

It was an all too familiar voice. It was soft and gentle.

I hesitated before turning around and opening the door. I opened it as quickly as I could and walked to the other side of the room tears still spilling into my cheeks.

I hear the door shut behind me and felt a hand on my shoulder.

I couldn't turn around. I couldn't face him after I threw that little tantrum and looking like this.

He's just going to think I'm more pathetic than I already am. I shook his hand off my shoulder. Still looking like an idiot standing in a room with my face covered by my hands. Let me just embarass myself even more.

"Mavery."

I didn't dare to turn around.

My makeup was running everywhere, I could barley speak without sobbing, and now Luke was next to me.

I felt the tears about to start once again, as Luke grabbed me by the waist, turning me around, and I started to sob into his shoulder.

He cooed as he led me over to the couch on the otherside of the room which I had no idea existed until that point.

It looked quite awkward. Since I was crying into his shoulder as we shuffled to the couch but maybe being awkward would just be our thing.

Neither of us had spoken another word since I continued sobbing but he rubbed my back and cooed into my ear to try to calm me down.

Once I was calm enough I started to feel ashamed. Ashamed that he had to see me this way. Ashamed that I acted the way I did. The boys probably never wanted to talk to me again. I was a freak.

I wouldn't look into his eyes, as I stopped crying, sort of, and lifted my face out of his shoulder. I just kept looking down.

Luke held me hand squeezing it every few seconds. I wanted to pull my hand away and wanted to unwind my fingers from his but I couldn't. It's like my body didn't want me to. I don't know, but for the first itme in ages I felt comfortable with Luke. His presence made me feel sort of happy. But there was no denying the butterflies I got in my stomach when I looked at him.

Or the pounding in my heart that started when he laughed. But I can't. I can't get attached and I can't let down my walls.

For god sake he would just leave in a couple days and I'd never see him again. This was a one time thing. For crying out loud I freaked out because one of his bandmates made a mistake. I've made plenty. It was a mistake going with them. It was a mistake having these feelings. My whole life is a mistake.

I decided to break the long, humiliating silence with a question,

"Why?"

He looked at me confused, but his eyes brightened at the fact that I talked to him.

"Why what?" He answered squeezing my hand once again.

"Why'd you run after me?"

"Isn't the guy supposed to run after the girl?" He lightly joked.

"This isn't some fairytale," I retorted with a sharpness in my voice.

"Mavery, I di-" I stopped him.

"Luke you live an amazing life with your four best friends. I live my life with none. You joke around a lot, you get paid for living your dreams. I have none of that. My family doesn't care about me. I barley have enough money to live and my life is a nightmare," I ranted, " you haven't had to," I stopped myself. I was reavealing too much to him. I had built these wals a long time ago and they weren't comin down anytime soon. "my life is a living hell," I finished quickly changing the topic of the sentence.

"What were you saying?" he asked.

"Nothing, it was nothing," I mumbled playing with the ends of my hair.

He slowly got up. "Look I'm going to go call the boys and tell them that I'm going to be back in a while. Don't go anywhere, please," he pleaded, "Mavery, you can trust me."

I would have loved to believed him, but I couldn't. Trust needed to be gained and I literally met Luke today. I wasn't going to go telling all my personal information out.

He slowly walked out of the room.

As soon as I heard his footsteps getting softer I got up grabbed my bag and headed for the connecting room. I knew that I couldn't keep running, but I sure as hell wasn't going to stay and talk tonight. I ran from the venue onto the sidewalk and ran until my feet couldn't go anymore.

All that was running through my mind was

yeah keep running away from your problems Mavery, cause all you ever do is run

---

Guys that might have been the shittest chapter I've ever written

I'm sorry I just really wanted to update

ily guys

i literally promise it will get better

plus i just started work and im gonna cry cause i work at a camp

my entire body hurts

also it's uneditted and im a shit speller so plz don't mind my terrible grammar