How My World Changed Forever...Again

Pregant?!

-2 weeks later-
Colleen's POV
I wake up in bed next to Erik and look at my phone; 7:21 AM. I never wake up this early and today I feel nauseous and sweaty and gross. I lay in bed for a couple more minutes, rolling around, trying not to wake Erik. He wakes up anyway and says, "you okay?"
I shake my head. "I'm gonna be sick," I say, getting out of the bed, covering my mouth with my hand, and running to the bathroom.
"Colleen?" Erik asks sweetly standing outside the door, "do you want me to come in?"
"Yes," I manage to get out before proceeding to throw up everything I ate yesterday into the toilet.
Erik comes rushing in and stands behind me, rubbing my back and holding my hair. When I'm done, he helps me clean up and get back into bed. "Are you okay?" He asks.
"I don't know what's wrong. I feel sick, like, for real sick."
"I'm sorry. Try to go back to sleep, baby. If you need anything at all, wake me up, okay?"
I nod my head, exhausted. Erik leans over me, kisses my forehead, then lays down and rubs my back.  I fall back asleep to his soft, gentle touch.

     The rest of the day, I'm fine.  Perfectly fine.  I still feel a little off though.  My stomach feels weird all day and because I got sick this morning, I decide to go buy a pregnancy test.   I'm nervous as hell.  We haven't been trying for a baby, and, actually, I'm on birth control.  When Erik leaves late in the afternoon, I head to Target.  I pick up a couple moderately priced pregnancy tests and go through self checkout.  I still feel like everyone is judging me.  I feel like the first thing the checkout person would notice is that I'm buying pregnancy tests and I don't have a ring on my finger.
     When I get home, I go straight up to my bathroom. 
The first thing I do is pull out the vlog camera. I figure that even if I never post this, I will want the moment for myself. "Hey guys." I say to the camera, "so who knows if I'll ever post this, but if you're seeing it, you probably know what it's about...I just bought a pregnancy test. My period is 15 days late, and I actually threw up this morning. Erik left for a few hours, so I'm here by myself. Okay, well, I'm gonna go pee on a stick, see you in a minute."
I open up one of the boxes and pull out the stick.  This isn't something I've ever wanted to do alone.  I've always told myself that I'm gonna have my husband or my sister here with me when I finally have to.  Nope.  It's just me, alone, in an empty bathroom.
     Longest. Ten. Minutes. Of. My. Life.  I pace around the bathroom, waiting for my stupid phone timer to go off.  When it finally does, I look at the stick.  Two, blue lines.  It's positive, and I'm pregnant.  Immediately, I break down and start bawling. Once again, I pull out the camera. It's all about the memories, "so, it's positive. I'm pregnant!" I say through tears, "I need to call Rachel."

     I open the front door and cry into Rachel's arms.  "Tell me what happened." she says, firmly, but kindly.
     "You're gonna be so mad!" I say, through tears.
     "I promise, I will not be mad at you.  Please Colleen. It's okay."
     I grab Rachel's hand and drag her upstairs with me and into the bathroom.  I have a camera set up filming. I gesture toward the test sitting on the sink counter for Rachel to look at.  Before I can see her reaction, I bury my face in the wall, like a two year old having a temper tantrum.  I feel Rachel's hand on my back.  She uses her other arm to turn me to face her.  I don't wanna see her reaction, so I look down at her shoes.  "Colleen, I'm not mad, I promise.  I would never be mad at you for this."
     Hearing this makes me so happy.  I jump up and wrap my arms around her neck.  "I have to ask though," she says, "you two had sex?"
"Yeah..." I say, embarrassed.
"And you didn't know this was gonna happen?"
     "No.  let me explain.  See, I'm on birth control right now, so we just..did it.  I don't think I've ever had sex on birth control because...it's just never been something...I was married, okay!  But you know, I went on it when I was so stressed and my hormone levels were a mess.  It was also to help me gain weight.  Anyway, you knew all that, the point is, I'm still on it.  I told Erik that, and we were just like, "oh yeah, it's fine, we can't conceive on it."  I've heard 5-7% of women on birth control get pregnant.  Apparently I'm part of that percent."
     "You are on the pill right?"
     I nod.
     "Did you always get your period on it?"
     "Yeah, and that's part of the reason I took a test.  I threw up this morning, but I was also supposed to get my period...15 days ago?  Yeah, 15."
     "Colleen!  I wish you would've said something earlier."
     "I was scared, and I'm still scared.  Rachel, I'm not even married!  Everyone's gonna call me a slut...
     Before I can continue, Rachel interrupts me saying, "so what?!  Is that because society tells you you're a slut if you have sex with someone you aren't married to?  I lost my virginity before marriage!  You waited for that, and you're a 35 year old woman who's been divorced.  It's not that big of a deal."
     "I know.  What I'm mostly sacred about is what Erik will say.  Is he gonna be mad?  Will he blame me because I told him we were fine to...do it?  Will he leave me?  It's only been a little over five months!  I can't do this alone..." I feel my eyes get big like a lost puppy.
     "Colleen, come here" Rachel pulls me into her arms, "Erik isn't going to leave you. And you know what, I'll be by your side every step of the way, I promise. Okay? Yes, it's only been months, but you loved him long before that. You just weren't ready. "
"I knew you wouldn't care. But what about Mom? And Dad?"
"They weren't mad at me. That's all I can say."
"But you didn't get pregnant!"
"I know, Colleen, but Mom and Dad aren't gonna be mad at you. Again, you're 35 years old, you.  You do what you want. It's not like you're 16 and sleeping with guys in the room across from your parents."
I fall back into Rachel's chest. She rubs my back and says, "shh, shh, it's okay."
Before we leave the bathroom, I say, "oh yeah, I filmed all of that," laughing for a moment.
"Colleen!"
"Relax! I'll edit it. Even the part where you said you lost your virginity before marriage I guess," I say, sarcastically contemplating.

Rachel's POV
I kiss the top of Colleen's head that is relaxed against my chest. She stands up suddenly and says, "oh shit! What time is it?"
I look at my Apple Watch, "4:32."
"Erik should be back around 5. How am I gonna tell him?"
"I would just wrap up the test. But you do need to tell him tonight, Colleen."
"I know," she says quietly.
I help Colleen clean up her face and wrap up the pregnancy test in a box. "Are you okay for me to leave?" I ask, tying a bow around the box.
She says, "yeah. I'll call you later though. And you can tell Matt."
"Okay, I don't have to though. He can wait until you tell the family."
"No, go ahead. I want him to know in case...in case anything happens. In case I need someone to protect me. I hear of all the cases of men getting mad and hurting women when they find out they're pregnant. I'm scared, Rach!"
"Erik isn't like that. It's going to be okay, I promise."

I hug Colleen one last time before I leave the house. "You're gonna be great," I whisper in her ear.
"Thanks," she says weakly.
I leave Colleen standing in her entryway. Erik should be there in just a few minutes.

Colleen's POV
Just minutes after Rachel leaves, Erik gets back.  Once again, I have a hidden camera. This will either be kept for us, posted on the internet, or used for police evidence...
Immediately, when he gets in the house, he says, "have you been crying?"
"Um...yeah. I, I have a gift for you."
I present him with the gift wrapped box. He is confused but unwraps it.  My heart beats faster and my hands get sweaty and shake as he opens the box.  He pauses and says, "Colleen, what's wrong?"
     Choking back tears, I say, "just open it."
     Erik unfolds the sides of the box and looks down.  The first words out of his mouth are, "I'm not gonna leave you."
     I smile crosses over my face and tears spill out of my eyes.  Erik sets the box on the island, wraps his arms around me, and lifts me off the ground.  "I love you," he says.
     "I love you too," I say, my words muffled by his shoulder.
     "I will always be here for you," he says, kissing the top of my head.
     After a minute, he let's go of me and says, "how do you feel?"
     "Not good," I say honestly, "throwing up this morning is the whole reason I decided to take a test in the first place."
     "I wondered.  That was so sudden this morning."
     "I had thought I could be for a while though.  I'm 15 days late...on my period."
"Why didn't you tell me, baby?" he says.
"I didn't think it was a big deal. I've lost weight and...I was or am actually on birth control. My mind just didn't go here."
     "Were you alone when you found out?"
     "Yeah, but then I called Rachel, and she came over.  I already told her."
     "I'm sorry you were so scared.  You know, you really are amazing."
     "Erik, I'm scared.  We're gonna be parents!   What if I'm not ready?"
     "You're gonna be great, Colleen.  And I'm right here with you.  All the time, I promise.  Do you wanna go to your parents?"
     I shake my head.  "We'll go in te morning.  I'm too tired now."
     He nods understandingly.  "You're cute," he says, pushing the hair from in front of my eyes.
I put my hand on my stomach. "We have a baby in here," I say quietly.
He puts his hand on top of mine, "yep, we do."

     I'm glad everything went over well with Erik, but what about everyone else?  My sister, she has always held my hand through everything, but what about my parents? And Chris and Jess? And my friends? And the internet? What about Katie and Billy? They trusted me with their kids. I don't wanna screw that up.

A/N sorry this chapter was all about the Ballingers. I needed to do this to set some other plot pieces into action. As always, thanks for reading!