How My World Changed Forever...Again

The Bad Days Make the Good Ones Better

Katie's POV
     Today, I get to leave the house and go get my nails done.  With chemo twice a week, my doctors say my cancer is so much more controlled.  I've been at home now for 4 and a half weeks.  I get in the car with my mom.  Before we hit the mall, we're going to pick up Annie.
     We pull into the LeBlanc's driveway and Annie is already waiting.  I get out of the car to move to the back with her, first hugging her.  We're both squeezing in each other's arms, just like we used to everyday at gym in the morning.  In the car, Annie's hand stays in mine between us on the seats.  "I'm so excited!" She says, kicking her feet back and fourth, "hey!  We should both get gold or orange nails!  You're finally out of the house, let's make it significant!"
     "Yeah, okay," I say, knowing that orange is for leukemia and gold is for childhood cancer. 
     This outing may seem insignificant to most.  I mean, it's just a friend and me going to get our nails done.  But it's not normal for me to get to leave the house.  When I am home from the hospital, I usually have to stay inside all day everyday because my immune system is so week.  I only even get to sit on the porch for 15 minutes a day and I have to wear pants and long sleeves.  For me to get to leave the house and be in a public place is huge.  And Annie knows exactly just how much it means.
     We walk into the salon and everything looks and feels different.  I used to come here all the time for coutellerie manicures and pedicures.  Now, I see everything clearly.  It all looks different because it's something I'm so not used to.  Annie and I start to pick our colors.  As promised, each of us choose a color/design that is either orange or gold, but doesn't have ribbons or anything like that.
     We sit at stations next to each other as I gladly let my bail person massage my hands with lotion. It feels so good to just forget everything for a moment and relax.
     When Annie and I are done, we both take pictures for Instagram.  My nails look like this,

And Annie's are like this,

Neither of us got acrylics.  I'm not allowed to have them in the hospital; too easy to scratch at tubes and things attached to me.  And Annie would have too hard of a time doing gymnastics with them.
     As we walk through the mall, Annie and I yet again hold hands.  This is how we used to travel everywhere together.
     A girl comes up to us and says, "oh my gosh!  I love you guys so much!  I'm so glad to see you out Katie!  Okay, I don't wanna hold you up..."
     I cut her off before she can finish, "no, do you want a picture?  We can take a picture real quick."
     "Really?"
     "Sure!"
     Annie and I pose for a selfie with her then she walks away. 
     I'm so tired of people thinking I'm different.  Im still me; I'm still Katie.  I know she was just being nice.  I just wish there wasn't a stigma with cancer that I can't do anything but lay in a bed; I mean, sometimes that's what it is.  But if I'm at the mall, I'm pretty sure I'm okay to take a picture.  I don't want to be seen as weak anymore.  I'm battling the deadliest disease in the nation; just saying, I'm pretty sure I'm anything but weak.  And im not loosing either.

Annie's POV
     When we're done with our nails, Ms. Jill says, "do you girls wanna grab chick fil a drive through?"
     Katie and I nod excitedly together.  These are the things I've missed the most; fun with Katie and spur of the moment drive through trips.  Jill gets the food and then drives us back to their house; I'm going to hang out for a little bit.
     Back at her house, Katie and I sit at the island enjoying of chicken nuggets.  We talk and laugh just like we used to.   It's so bizarre; Katie seems totally healthy right now.  There isn't a trace of how ugly cancer is, it's just Katie's beautiful self.  But those looks now can't deceive me; there have been times when Katie was laying in a hospital bed pale as can be, no wig on, and barely alive.  How can cancer change everything so quickly?
     We enjoy another half hour together and then my mom comes to pick me up.  Katie can't have people over for extended periods of time because she gets too tired which can make her sicker.  I plop down in the passenger seat of my moms car. She says, "did ya have fun?"
"Yeah, it was really good."
     "Let me see your nails?"
     I hold my left hand up so my mom can see.  "Cute," she says, "did you both get orange?"
     I nod. "Except Katie got this finger," moving my ring finger, "gold."
     "That's sweet.  Okay, well we're gonna go home and meet up with Daddy and Hayley.  I think we're gonna go to climb zone because Hayley has been really wanting to.  Sound good?"
     "Yeah!" I say, excited.
    
Colleen's POV
     "And then we went to Climb Zone!  And then we went out to dinner!  And now we're home and later we're gonna watch a movie!"
     "That's awesome Hails!" I say, over FaceTime with Hayley.
     "Hold on, I'm gonna get Annie."
     I watch the screen shake as Hayley passes the phone to Annie.  "Hey!  What up?" I say.
     "Not much.  I got to go get my nails done with Katie today.  We got lunch and took it back to her house to eat.  I even got to hang out there for like an hour."
     "Aww!  That makes me wanna cry!" I say, knowing that Katie finally got to leave the house.
     "What's up with you?" Annie asks.
     "I'm actually at my parents' right now.  My brother is here with his kids.  You wanna get Hayley and you guys can say hi?"
     "Sure." Annie says before yelling, "Hay-ley!  Come 'ere!"
     When both girls appear on the screen, I open the door from my childhood bedroom and yell into the living room, "kids!  Come here!"
     The three older ones come running down the hall with Duncan stumbling behind.  "You wanna say hi to Annie and Hayley?"
      "Yeah!  Yeah!  Yeah!" Bailey says, way to excited.
      "Okay, you need to all sit down and be calm or else they won't be able to hear you."
      They sit on the bed, still bouncing around, and I pull Duncan up next to them.  I turn the camera and immediately, Bailey is trying to grab it.  "Hold on, I'm gonna hold it."
      Annie and Hayley seem only slightly overwhelmed.  They're troopers though.  They answer Parker's outlandish gymnastics questions and ignore Bailey's screaming. 
      I take it upon myself to shut this down and say, "okay kids, go back into the living room.  I'll be out in a minute."
      As they leave, Parker says, "I'm putting on a Miranda show!"
     I laugh to myself.  What have I done to that child?
     "Sorry," I say, laughing to the girls.
     "No!  They're so sweet!" Annie says.
     "Oh for sure!  I love those kids to death!  It's just...they're homeschooled. Not online, like home schooled.  By their mom.  And they go to homeschool co-op" I say, laughing, "it's pretty intense around here a lot."
      Hayley says, "Parker is so cute!  He, like, is actually you."
     I talk with the girls a little more.  Annie tells me about gym and Hayley tells me about how she's just been "chillin" the last few days (which she loves).   It's nice to see them happy.  I I will never know how kids can understand how bad things are and still have a smile on their faces everyday.  I saw these girls crying because their best friend has cancer.  But even then, within hours, they were smiling again.  Kids are better actors than we think.  They can pretend like nothing is wrong.  I guess these girls know better than anyone that there aren't enough days to have a bad one.  They've taught me that the small stuff really is just small stuff.  All those little, annoying things in life aren't really worth the tears.