How My World Changed Forever...Again

Why Should I Be Unhappy?

Rachel's POV
     After hours of sitting in the hospital room talking to Katie and just trying to make her smile, it's eight PM.  Hayley fell asleep on a chair in the corner of the room, and everyone just lets her be.  Between being on West Coast time and the crazy last few weeks, that kid needs sleep.  I think Annie's running on adrenaline.  I am really exhausted and I can tell Colleen is too, but we're both happy to be here as long as we need to be.  Katie turns to Colleen and me and says, "we need to get going.  They're going to kick us out of here any minute.  I'm going back with Ryan and Brennan, so Jill and Mike can stay here.  Billy is going back to our house, so he'll drive all you guys back.  As for sleeping arrangements; I couldn't care less at this point.  I wouldn't be surprised if the girls sleep together.  If they sleep in Hayley's room, Annie's room will be open and her bed would be fine to sleep in for you two.  There's a "guest" room downstairs but I'm embarrassed to admit it's a mess.  Billy's cousin had been staying with us and all of her stuff is in there.  If you'd prefer the couch, the living room is fine.  Again, I don't care.  Annie," Annie looks up from sitting beside Katie and her mom continues, "how messy is your bathroom? Because I think that'd be a good place for Rachel and Colleen to set up.  I know your sisters bathroom is a mess so that is not an option.  Please, just try to make things go as smoothly as possible,"
     "Katie." I interrupt, "everything will be fine.  Colleen and I don't care how messy things are or where we end up sleeping.  You have been incredible and we'll figure it all out at your house.  You worry about the boys."
     "Thanks Rachel.  Okay, Billy?  Ready?" she says.
     "Mhmm.  Annie?  You gotta say good bye.  We'll be back tomorrow."
     Annie sighs in sadness.  I feel bad for the kid.  I can't imagine being taken away from your best friend for years, finding out she was diagnosed with a life threatening disease, finally being reunited, then having to leave.  Colleen and I both hug Katie and then it's Annie's turn for a much more dramatic goodbye.
     When they're done, Annie jumps on Billy's back.  "Annie!  Get down, I have to carry your sister!" He says.
     "It's okay, I can get her," I say, trying to help.
     I lift Hayley off the chair, hold her to my chest, and lay her head on my shoulder. Her warm, little body relaxed on mine makes me so happy.
Billy leads us out of the room and back through the halls. Walking through a children's hospital at night isn't quite as bright and happy as it is during the day. It's actually really scary. There are a few nurses in the halls and walking past patients' rooms you can hear quiet, steady beeping. Earlier, there were families and friends and guests filling the halls with laughter and happiness. Now, all is quiet. Now, the kids are back in their reality; their horrible, dreaded reality.
Through the quiet hospital then back to the now deserted parking garage, we walk. Back at the car, Billy says, "where do you too want to sit?" Referring to me and Colleen.
I quickly respond, "go ahead and put Annie in the front. Colleen and I'll sit in the back with Hayley."
It was kind of awkward sitting in the front with Billy the first time, not gonna lie. Colleen gets in the middle because, for real, she fits way better than me. I carefully set Hayley down and buckle her in next to Colleen. I walk around the other side of the car and sit on Colleen's other side.
We drive in the car for almost an hour. Back at their house, Hayley is still asleep. Billy says, "I'll get Hayley and put her in bed. Annie, I need you to please, like your mother said, clean your bed off and clear your bathroom quickly. Show Colleen and Rachel where your room is and then get ready in your sisters room. Again, we don't care about where te luggage is right now. It's in the living room right now and that's fine. We'll worry about it tomorrow."
Billy is so nice about everything.
     Getting out of the car, we follow Annie into the house.

Annie's POV
     I'm exhausted, but as I was told to, I lead Rachel and Colleen into the house.   Inside, I say, "Wanna grab your stuff then I'll take you upstairs?"
     They grab they're suitcases and backpacks and I take them upstairs.  I go in my room and take one look at the bed. "Ohhh...I'm gonna have to clear this off real quick..."
     Both of them laugh and Colleen says, "Um...but why this bed is literally what my entire house looks like?"
     On my bed, there is a laptop, an iPad, a laptop charger, a phone charger, a whole bunch of old schoolwork, about 15 hundred stuffed animals, and more clothes than are probably in my closet.
"Just a second..." I say, suddenly embarrassed by my own slob.
I move all the electronic equipment to my desk along with a small pile of school work. I just pile the stuffed animals in the corner except for Bear Bear who will go to Hayley's room with me. I pick up the piles of clothes in my arms and throw them in my walk in closet before closing that door. Under all the crap, my bed is actually made so that's good.  "Okay.  There!" I say, in reliefs putting the last few things down.
     "Thanks Annie," Colleen says, "sorry you had to go to all that trouble."
     I say, "no it's fine. That's what I get for not keeping my room clean. Anyway, I'm just going to grab my pajamas and toothbrush and head over to Hayley's room. Oh, by the way, her room is just across the hall. My parents room is down stairs so you won't have to worry about my dad. Feel free to use my bathroom and leave whatever you want on the counter."
"Thanks Annie," Rachel says.
Before leaving the room, I hug them both. I've said this before, but I've really grown to feel safe with them.  I've been away from my parents for three weeks.  And even now that I'm home, I still don't really have anyone's undivided attention, and rightfully so since my parents need to be helping another family.  I am totally fine with not having my mom at home.  I am actually glad she's there for Brennan and Ryan because if she wasn't, one of Katie's parents couldn't be with her.  And it's true, my dad is here for me.  I really love my dad.  When I was younger, I was a total daddy's girl.  Once I started working, my mom was with me more.  Of course, I still love my dad so much because he is my dad.    
     However, that doesn't change the fact that I need a hug from my mom sometimes.  My dads hugs are strong and powerful, my moms hugs are sympathetic and soft.  My dad won't understand spontaneous, unexplained tears.  My mom will sit with me and rub my back.  Colleen and Rachel will sympathize with me.  I'm glad to have two females to me there for me right now.  They hug me goodnight, they wipe my tears, they helped when I got my period, and Colleen even held my hair when I threw up.  These hugs just make me realize even more how lucky I am.
     When Colleen lets go of me, I say, "goodnight" before quickly leaving the room.  I feel like if I don't, I might start crying.
     In Hayley's room, she's asleep under the covers.  I quickly put my pjs on right there in the room and disregard brushing my teeth.  Leaving my phone on nightstand, I climb in next to Hayley.  As soon as my head hits the pillow, my eyes close and I fall fast asleep.