How My World Changed Forever...Again

When the Good Goes Bad

A/N hey guys!  I really hope to get this story in order and update during this really bizarre time in history.  I have one full week definitely left without school instruction, and after that, I'll probably only have a few hours of work a day indefinitely.  Needless to say, I have a lot of time on my hands.  Sorry it's been so long!  Enjoy the chapter!

November 24, 2019

Katie's [LeBlanc] POV
It's early in the morning on the day of the childhood cancer fundraiser; and by early I mean 9:00 AM.  I stayed at Colleen's last night like I have been, but Jill has been here with the girls since 8 this morning.  I try not to think about last night; it's over.
     I'm in Colleen's kitchen when Jill's phone rings. It's Mike. I panic. Of course I don't answer it, but I shout up the stairs, "Jill! Mike's calling!"
She runs down the stairs and grabs her phone off the counter. She doesn't even say anything to me and I can see the worry in her eyes.
Right now, Katie looks healthy and I know she is chemo free at this point. However, speaking completely honest, I have no idea how she is medically doing.

Annie's POV
     I run downstairs from Colleen's bedroom where Hay and I were hanging out with her.
     I am about to yell for my mom because I can't find my mascara when I see her out in the kitchen crying.
     My instinct is to immediately ask her what's wrong, but instead I stand quietly out of sight.
     When she turns around, I try to get out of the way, but my mom says, "Annie?!  What the hell are you doing down here?!"
I run back upstairs.

Jill's POV
"Yeah. I mean, I get it. I do. I just, I don't know how much longer I can keep trying things."
The doctors want to try a clinical trial round because they finally got results and called Mike today. It's official, nothing is working at all.
Katie is thriving right now but she is most certainly not cancer free. They want to put her in a trial that has all kinds of long term risks with fertility because it hasn't been being uses long enough to see a kid grow up. It's cured a lot of kids but we don't know what it will do to healthy adults.
And one of the things that is making me most emotional is the fact that this treatment will probably last through Christmas. I didn't want to spend Christmas in the hospital but we might just have to.
"Jill, we're going to get through this, I promise. It's going to be okay somehow. You don't have to stay strong all the time. I love you."
"I love you too," I say choking back tears.
     "Katie is the strongest kid I know," he says.
     "I know.  But I'm not as strong as her.  I can't stand to see her as sick as she gets on chemo.  They're pumping her tiny body full of drugs and I just don't know how much more of it she can take."
     "Jill, we have some of the best pediatricians in the country.  Right now, Katie is living life to the fullest."
     "But Christmas." I say weakly.  "What if we fly home today and start treatment a week early.  Then maybe-"
     "Jill, Katie needs to have this vacation.  Because when we start, it will be hell, but right now it's best for her to be a normal kid."
     I sob into the phone.  "Jill, pull yourself together," he says, "you're not in this alone."
     He waits on the phone with me as I calm myself down.  Several minutes later, I say, "I need to get inside and help Colleen."
     "Yes you do.  I'll see you soon, honey.  I love you.  Tell Katie I love her and I miss her."
     "I will.  I love you too."

     As I start to walk through the French doors, Katie [Leblanc] guides me back outside.  "What's up?  How are you?" She asks.
     "We knew this was going to happen.  Katie looks healthy but she is still very much so sick.  Her cancer cell count is high.  A regular chemo regimen just isn't working.  We knew they were going to start a clinical trial, but Mike got the specifics today.  We're talking high dosages and intense treatment.  She'll be really sick.  And it's long.  The round will last through the New Year.  It sounds stupid saying it out loud, but the last thing I was holding onto was a normal Christmas.  It's not going to happen."

Katie's [Leblanc] POV
     "Jill, I'm so sorry.  It's not stupid.  It's completely valid.  I will be right there for you every single step of the way. Katie is a part of something special today. And your family will be your family whether Christmas is spent in your living room or a hospital room. I know it's scary; trust me, I do."
"Thanks, Katie. Thank you for everything you've done for us."
"It takes a village, Jill. Speaking of which, we have to all be a village for a lot of other people today. Are you ready?!"
We're doing the childhood cancer fundraiser today with Colleen. We're going to change a lot of lives.

Annie's POV
My mom comes up the stairs. "Annie?" She says peaking into Colleen's bedroom. "I need to talk to you for a minute."
I get up off the floor and follow her to the hallway and down the hall. We go in the guest bedroom and close the door. "Don't worry about me. I'm fine. I know you were downstairs earlier. Jill got some news and Katie isn't getting any better. They're doing a clinical trial, which we knew, but what is different is it might run through Christmas. That's really hard to hear; that you might spend Christmas in the hospital. I don't want you to be upset, but I want you to know. Take those emotions and put them into that livestream today. You're going to help a lot of people, and I want you to understand that. Kids just like Katie."
I stand still. Katie is fine right now and it's really hard for me to remember how sick she really is. Today has definitely been the hardest day in LA.  Her body is exhausted, and that lack of rest takes strength from her already weak leg.
My mom pulls me into her arms and whisper into my head, "it's going to be okay. Somehow we'll figure it out together."
"I love you. And I miss him." I say.
"I miss him too, Annie Girl. Everyday it's a battle."
I don't talk about Caleb a lot but sometimes it sneaks up on me.

Katie's [Donnelly] POV
     We're getting closer to start time and Annie, Hayley, and I are all heading downstairs.  My leg hurts-a lot-but I choose to just hobble around instead of using my crutches.  I've felt much worse pain.
     Just as I take the first step, my mom turns around and sees us.  Immediately, she says, "If your leg is that bad that you're limping like that, you need to not be on it."
Your doctor said that as soon as the pain is inhibiting your walking, you need to be non weight bearing."
     "Well, I'm sorry, we don't have crutches here and I don't happen to know any alternative modes of transportation as opposed to walking."
     "Katie Elizabeth, do not talk to me like that!"
     "But at home I'm supposed to use it!" I yell.  "I'm fine!"
     "We are three thousand miles away from your doctor.  They don't want you to fall and get hurt or, in the case that it's not just a chemo side effect, make everything worse.  We cannot be in the hospital in moments notice right now.   I know you could spend your day limping around but right now, I'm asking you not to."
     "Just stop!" I shout.
     "Katie, the chemo isn't working." my mom says bluntly.
     "Yeah, we already knew that, okay?"
     "You might not be home for Christmas and you might never have kids, Katie.  This is a big deal!"
     "Jesus Christ, Mom!  If we don't try it, yeah, I'm never gonna have kids.  We have to try!"
     "We could fly home right now and start it today that way you can be off chemo by Christmas maybe-"
     "I don't care about that!  I care about this!  And I'm so tired; I'm so f*cking tired of chasing time!" I scream.
     I surprised even myself.  It seems like all I've done through this journey is fight with my mom, but never like this.  Something in me broke this time, and I feel so much better.
      I look down from the top of the stairs.  I run.  I run all the way to the bottom.  I run because I can.  I can run.  I cry and stumble and when I reach the bottom, my mom looks at me and says, "Katie, you need to calm dow-"
      "What the hell is wrong with you?" I yell.