extras ➢ taekook [ completed ]

45 | ? ?

i'm gonna keep it as '? ?' because people who scroll through the chapters might pick up the hint..

I WAS SUPPOSED TO PUBLISH THIS LAST NIGHT BUT I GUESS I FELL ASLEEP BC I JUST WOKE UP AND IT'S STILL HERE OHNOFRICK

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i couldn't watch it anymore. with every passing moment of their embrace my heart shattered more, and more.

i know i can't procrastinate on explaining my actions. i know they deserve to hear the truth.

but the truth involves my confession to taehyung, and i don't want to ruin whatever's left of our friendship at least.

on the other hand, i already admitted to be being J so i might as well finish what i started, right?

i slowed my running to a stop when i reached the park. my mind was a buzzing mess with mixes of regret and confusion towards myself.

i sat down on a swing and caught my breath.

checking my phone which was on low battery, and noted that it was 8pm. i didn't care much.

it's not like there's anyone waiting for me.

that's a lie, actually. jin managed to convince me to try and confess... he told me it would be best to not wait or the situation would get worse and it would get harder to speak up.

he agreed to wait for me in case i was left a wreck on the side walk physically or mentally.

i sighed swinging lightly while looking at the sky.

"i only managed to admit that i'm J, then i left like the coward i am after only seeing them hug." i chuckled darkly to myself.

"i don't think you're a coward." a voice said next to me.

i could see jin's figure on the swing next to me in my peripheral vision. although i was rather startled, i paid it no mind.

"were you watching?" my gaze returned to the sky above. the swing creaked slightly as i shifted.

"well it's not like i had a choice, i was supposed to be there in case they beat you up and you needed a hospital, remember?" he said casually rolling his eyes. "and you're not a coward, you just made a couple wrong choices." i didn't reply to his words for a few moments.

"how can you be so calm right now? why would you help me? i'm horrible." i asked without any underlying emotion or meaning. i simply asked the question as it was.

"well i can understand your situation in a way, or at least relate to your feelings." he said. i looked over at him suddenly remembering that hoseok talked to him alone after we got down from the rooftop. his gaze lingered on nothing in particular on the ground. i remember seeing how broken he looked behind his weakly fake smile as he rejoined the rest of us. "i want to heal, and i want you to heal with me because i still care about you." he said, his tone most likely contrary to how he's been feeling.

"i'm sorry that had to happen to you." i said quietly acknowledging him. "but thank you."

"joon, you're never going to start healing if you don't get through the rough first."

"i know." i replied simply and let the quiet overcome us.

we waited letting the night air and stars do all the talking. the two of us shared the same pain, the same yearning, but different regret.

"i'll try again tomorrow." i said with new determination.

i could sense jin look over at me, so i returned the gaze. it was the first time our eyes met since he appeared here.

his blank face switched in an instant and he smiled proudly nodding.

"i'll be right there to cheer you on, joon."

at some point we left the swings and i spent the night at jin's place.

nothing significant even came close to happening, if that's what you're thinking. we were too broken for now to even think of someone new.

and i don't think either of us wanted to be alone that night, either.

CHAPTER END

(i don't know how to character development i'm sorry)

THANK YOU SM FOR READING THIS FAR 💛