Cringefest 2018: The Competition [COMPLETED]

Campana XI

The Campana are, once again, the first to head down, followed by the Crucifijo, then the Cangrejo, and lastly, Navio.

"Early again," says Ysobel. "And not denied from the gym like last time."

"We haven't even entered the gym," Sandee replies.

"Exactly why we haven't been denied," responds Ysobel.

"Denied," Alec cuts in. "You've been denied by me!"

"Denied!" follows Ann, who'd been beside Sandee the entire time without her knowing.

"Hope your team loses volleyball," says Ysobel, looking at Ann.

"I'm not part of our volleyball team," replies Ann. "I would if I was better, and if this eye wasn't black."

"Yeah, good luck in football. You crushed us."

"I crushed you and yet I don't have a crush on you."

"Of course, you have a crush on Franc."

Ann clenches her right fist. "I'll fucking kill you."

"Shut up," interrupts Kim.

"N-A-V-I-O, asul, bro! Asul, sul, sul, suuuul, hey!" cheer the Navio as they arrive outside the gym.

The Cangrejo enter the gym.

They were in the same positions like yesterday morning, with Cangrejo to the far left, Crucifijo to the far right, and Campana and Navio glued together in the middle like peanut butter and jelly.

"Campana spelling!" shouts Jun.

"C-A! C-A-M! C-A-M-P-A-N-A, CAMPANA, HEY! HEY! Campana! Hey! Hey!"

"C! R-U-C! I-F-I! J---O! CRU-CI-FI-JO!" the Crucifijo shout in response.

"Cangrejo destruiros a todos!" the Cangrejo shout in response.

"Settle down," says Grayson. "So, today's the second SportsFest day, and don't worry, we won't be doing an opening as long as yesterday's."

"Oh, good lord," says Ysobel, exhaling. "I hated that."

"Good, we don't have to listen to the saints' backstories," says Alec.

"First, we shall all stand up an pray the morning offering."

This one isn't going.

They repeated the routine from yesterday, even re-reciting the Oath of Sportsmanship, and receiving yet another speech from the student council president.

"If I were part of the SportsFest committee, I'd remove this part," says Ysobel.

"I know, right? It makes less time for the actual sports to happen... No one even listens," agrees Alec.

"Out of the 500+ students in this gym, at least one of them listens," says Sandee.

"That person would be Dave himself," replies Ysobel.

Sandee chuckles.

"Now, you may go upstairs and have your snacks!" Grayson shouts.

Just like yesterday, everyone started to flock up to the third floor.

"I'm skipping snack time," Sandee mumbles to herself.

"I'm skipping snacks, too," responds Ann, who was close to her. "I'm just gonna have a Jatorade, then I need to prepare for soccer."

"You have ten minutes," replies Sandee.

"Well, I have preparations to do. I gotta roll up my pants, I gotta make sure my eyepatch's not gonna be hit, I gotta meet up with my team for stretches—"

"Well, considering how your eye  is right now, you're probably gonna be placed on the sub bench."

"Ey, don't sweat it! I'm an awesome player. Sure, Campana was easy because they lacked players, but I'm Crucifijo! I got the power of God and anime on my side!"

"If you say so," says Sandee. "Just don't run to me and cry for help if your team hogs all the points."

"I could run into you any time and have a friendly chat, y'know. However, I guarantee I'm not gonna cry. I never cry!"

"Right, says the person who cried after Franc threw her poem in the trash and broke her heart. Like, wow, Ann, you shouldn't be so sensitive in public."

"You probably shouldn't be talking about my love life in public either," retaliates Ann. "'Cause if someone hears you, then you'll be on your way to being one of the lovey-dovey gossip girls in class, and seeing as how you're obviously a lonely one without a significant other or shipmate, you'll be cringing inside a lot, even to the point that your tiny-ass brain cringes all the way into your stomach and gets digested into waste material. Like your brain isn't waste already."

"Ann! I did not raise you this way!" Sandee scolds humourously. "You disappointing piece of disappointment — in fact, I must report!"

"You can't report," Ann comebacks. "I don't exist."

"Your brain doesn't exist," retorts Sandee. By the time she finished her statement, Ann was go — oh wait a minute, who's this Ann person again?

Wow, she really doesn't exist.

A/N: FITE ME

(This was an actual conversation we had via text message)