Cringefest 2018: The Competition [COMPLETED]

Campana II

Mr. Matthews, the hall monitor, stands centre-stage, microphone adjusted perfectly.

"If we are all settled," Matthews shouts. "May we call on Mister Lucas Grayson for a very special announcement!" Lucas Grayson was this fat, tall man who wore glasses (don't tell anyone I said that) and kept his lucky pen in his left shirt pocket wherever he went. Don't ask me why, he just has one. Probably so that none of his students complain about the Fs he gives.

"Sandee!" called out April, who was right beside her. "I think this is about SportsFest!"

"Yeah, no shit, Sherlock," answers Sandee with a slight monotone to her voice. "What's your house?"

"30 Sudbury Lane, Teakwood District—"

"No, for SportsFest!"

"I don't know. How the hell would we know? And what do you mean by 'house'?"

"Big teams for SportsFest, stuff like that," says Sandee. "Ann told me she's in Crucifijo from her e-mail. Maybe we can check it out later."

"Yeah, we probably should—"

"GOOD MORNING, SAINT'S HILL ACADEMY!" shouted Grayson. "You thought it was Jojo, but it is I, Lucas Grayson, the head of the SportsFest committee!"

"Yeah, SportsFest," remarks April.

"For SportsFest, a majority of you voted to have it last two straight days," continued Grayson. "That will be Thursday and Friday next week."

"Two straight days? So I won't get to sleep at all for 48 hours?" asks Sandee.

"Shut it," April responds, squinting her eyes.

"During our event we will have eight major sporting activities. These will be — NEXT SLIDE, PLEASE!"

A black StrengthTip slide shows up with the eight events. Problem is, they're too small for anyone to read.

"Basketball boys and girls, Football boys and girls, Badminton boys, girls, and mixed, both singles and doubles, Volleyball mixed, Relay racing, the 100 Meter Dash, and lastly, Cheer-dance!"

"Cheer-dance," Sandee moans to herself.

"That's not even a sport," April replies. "It's just, like, pom-poms and stuff."

"True," says Sandee, nodding her head both ways.

"You will be divided into four teams, called houses or 'Casa's. All of you were sent an e-mail by your house masters last night."

"Oh, I know Navio," says April. "I kinda like that name."

"Casa de Campana," shouts Grayson. An image of a yellow bell flashes on-screen.

"Casa de Crucifijo," continues Grayson. A white cross flashes on the slide.

"That's Ann's," Sandee remarks.

"Casa de Cangrejo—"

"What the fuck is that? It looks like a... Rorschach ink test."

"It's a crab," replies Dorothy 'Vick' Spears. She was the silent one of the four. "I saw the e-mail, you know."

"That's supposed a crab?" Sandee asks, looking at April.

"You're in Cangrejo, Vick?" April queries, ignoring Sandee's question.

"Finally, we have Casa de Navio!" Grayson finishes. A blue boat transitions (sails, you could say) to the corner of the screen.

"I wanna be Navio," admits April. "It's the only one that doesn't start with a C."

"I kinda like Crucifijo though, but Ann told me I'm not part of it," replies Sandee. "Campana, maybe? I dunno."

Yeah, the four of use definitely aren't all ending up on different houses.

"For those who either have trouble logging into their email accounts, or have no time to check, we will be posting the houses later during lunch on the bulletin board," states Grayson.

Thank you... Now I won't be screwed over with Ann!

"Thank you, Mr. Grayson!" Matthews applauds. "Now, let us call on Miss Marie Albert for another special announcement."

"God, no, she's the senior high chemistry teacher isn't she?" April moans. "This is gonna be Science Fair crap. Boring stuff."

"Science isn't boring," retorts Ann.

"Yeah, and what if you end up guessing your way to the quiz bee? You have the shittiest luck ever, it's golden."

"Meh," goes April. But she's right. It is boring stuff, and you probably want to fast-forward to more interesting bits, so here goes.