Cringefest 2018: The Competition [COMPLETED]

Cangrejo XI

I'm probably the shooting guard or something. Nah, doesn't matter.

Before Vick could even notice, Rosa (Campana) was already dribbling to the other side. Vick chases after her. Rosa shoots and scores a regular 2.

They play on.

4:27.

"An amazing 3-point shot from Hana Manson of Casa de Campana!" shouts Coach Abbott.

Hana from Campana dribbles and shoots a 3-point shot, increasing their score from 9 to 12, 2 more than Cangrejo.

7:51.

Kat (Campana) dribbles to the other side... And suddenly, she involuntarily holds up the ball and takes a few more steps forward.

"Campana, this is your first foul! Free throw - Cangrejo!" shouts Coach Abbott.

"I'll do it," says Rubye, who was undoubtedly the tallest member of the team.

She shoots. The Cangrejo score moves up by one.

Campana: 16
Cangrejo: 18

11:49.

Second quarter.

Angelika dribbles to the other side.

Angelika Powell. A short girl with a short jump, but a very, very long, powerful, and accurate shot.

Though Carrie tries to block her pass to Kat, she instead decides to shoot from where she was.

Campana: 21
Cangrejo: 20

Dammit! Clothes in Filipino!

14:36.

Andrea tries to block Hana's shot. There was a line separating them. Hana dribbles from hand-to-hand for a while until Coach Abbott blows his whistle. "Cangrejo, this is your first team foul! Free throw - Campana!"

"What'd I do wrong?" asks Andrea.

"Look at where you were standing for three seconds straight," answers Carrie.

"SOMOS LUCHADORES, CAMPANA! SOMOS LUCHADORES, CAMPANA!

Campana: 25
Cangrejo: 27

16:15.

Mharsha (Campana) dribbles to the other side. She accidentally steps on Carrie's foot, though she manages to keep balance, just slowing down. As she passes to Kat, Vick swoops in from the side and steals, then runs and makes her three-point shot.

"A majestic three-point shot from Dorothy Spears of Casa de Cangrejo!"

"CANGREJO DESTRUIROS A TODOS-"

"C-A! C-A-M! C-A-M-P-A-N-A! CAMPANA! HEY! HEY! CAMPANA! HEY! HEY!"

Campana: 28
Cangrejo: 32

18:53.

Kat blocks Carrie, who then passes to Andrea. She shoots, but it bounces off the ring and falls into Angelika's hands. Mharsha was already on the other side, so Angelika, who was positioned in her team's half's restricted area, passes to her with a baseball throw - but instead of Mharsha catching the ball, the other hoop does.

What a savage throw! I'm still more savage, sadly.

Then Patrisha runs over and takes the ball bouncing on the ground, but Mharsha steals it back and scores another 2 points for Campana.

"C-A! C-A-M! C-A-M-P-A-N-A! CAMPANA! HEY! HEY! CAMPANA! HEY! HEY!"

Campana: 36
Cangrejo: 39

At the same time, Coach Abbott blows his whistle. "The second quarter has ended!"

"Nice work," says Carrie. "Let's make sure we're still in the lead by the end of this."

"If you're in the Philippines and it's the end of the second quarter, you'd be screwed if you're this age because that would mean it's report card day in three weeks," says Orelya.

"Three weeks for report card day?" Ysobel questions. "Shatap, you're lying! That's such a long time!"

"There's still sem-break," Orelya adds. "For about two weeks."

"Oh, I see."

"We need to do something about Angelika," Rubye declares.

"She's diabetic," says Vick. "Let's put her on steroids. Preferably ethyropoetin, a performance- enhancing steroid also known as EPO."

A/N: Please don't try this at home, you'll actually die if you're diabetic and use steroids

"Nerd," says Patrisha.

"Murder is a crime, Vick," says Andrea.

"Let's just do our best," says Carrie. "Notice she passes and shoots from long distances, so if possible, steal the ball."

Vick picks up an orange bottle of Jatorade. She touches it.

"Vick, that's my drink," says Ann.

"Does it have your name on it?" asks Vick.

"Well, does it have your name on it? You know that I'm the lord of Jatorade." Ann sips her Jatorade.

"Fine. Whatever."

"What's our strategy when it comes to the jump ball or whatever?" asks Rubye.

"Just tip it off as quickly as you can and then start moving to the other side with the ball," Andrea answers. "That one was obvious. Why ask?"

"Nothing. You said our strategy's to keep it away from Angelika, right? We don't want Angelika touching first."

"Well, not just Angelika. In fact, when you get the opportunity to steal the ball, seize it. And, pass it to the person closest to the ring if no one's blocking you, unless you're confident in a three point shot," says Carrie. "We are not throwin' away our shots!"

"So, essentially, possession is key?" Patrisha clarifies. "You could've just said that."

"Yep," Carrie affirms.

"I was just wondering," says Andrea. "Have we ever considered giving ourselves roles? You know, like, point guard?"

"Good point, actually," says Rubye. "Center."

"Vicky's a power forward, no doubt," says Gwen.

"Why not a stretch four?" asks Patrisha. "A power forward that frequently shoots three-pointers? She's pretty good at that."

Stretch Four sounds pretty special, but it doesn't matter when it's not point guard.

"Yeah, actually," says Carrie. "I think I'm more of a small forward."

"Nope, I believe you're more like the point guard," says Andrea. "Between you, Vick, and Rubye, you're the one scoring the most points, I think."

"So, Andrea, who's the shooting guard and who's the small forward?" asks Patrisha. "Me, or you?"

"You're not exactly a three-point shooter," Andrea admits.

"Fair enough," responds Patrisha. "So, I'm the small forward, and you're the shooting guard."

"Yep-"

"Girls!" shouts Coach Abbott. "Time to play the second half of the game! Remember that we're switching hoops!"