“Really Miss McColin I can put my seat belt on myself.” I told the lovely lady as she went to do it up for me. After two weeks in hospital I was finally going home, to bad my parents wouldn’t be there to greet me.
“Ok fine then. Ow an Cyan is there anything in particular you want for dinner. If there is I’ll stop off at the shop’s before we get back to your house.” Miss McColin was a lovely woman. Since I was little she’d always take care of me while my parents were away. She’d always come and stay at my house though.
She was Kyle’s step-mum. He never liked her, everyone on our street new that. It was hard not to the amount of times he yelled it at her while walking out of the house. His dad, like my parents, wasn’t around much. His mum had died when he was four, I don’t think he remembered much of her, I mean he was just a kid, when your that age you don’t remember much do you. When he was six his dad re-married. After a month of happy couples he got a new job and started going away a lot, just after that his oldest son, who’s name I really don’t know, moved out.
I smiled, “I’m fine Miss McColin. As long as it’s you cooking the food I’ll eat it.”
“Ow, Cyan your always such a darling.” She cooed and I could just picture her face begging to beam. She’s always been one of those people who get really happy when ever there given a compliment. “And before I forget that friend of yours said that she’d come over to see you when she gets out of hospital.”
I frowned a second. Scarlet may be the most positive person I know but since meeting her she’d had to have three more operations on her eyes. I wasn’t sure of the details but it had something to do with blood in the cavern inside the skull where the brain is. It also turned out that she was terrified of needles, and I quote here, “so it’s a good thing I cant see them coming or I’d be running faster than hell fire spreads.”
“Ok, did she say when she was getting out?” I asked Miss McColin.
“I asked but she said she didn’t know,” I herd a sigh there, the sadness etched into it. “Poor thing seems so happy but I bet she’s really dieing on the inside.”
The car door slammed shut before the click of a seatbelt was herd. Next thing I know the radio’s on and I can feel the car moving.
~~~
I didn’t really know what to expect when I walked into my house. I didn’t expect to see it of course but the second I walked in I wondered if it was really my house. I couldn’t remember where half the things were and nearly walked into a wall when I tried to find the stairs so that I could get to my room.
“Are you sure your alright doing it on your own sweetheart?” Miss McColin asked me yet again. “I can always help you up there.”
“No, no I’ll do it. Just takes a bit of getting used to.” I told her putting on a fake smile in no real direction as I reached my hand out into the black abyss of nothingness that hovered in front of me. Finding the banisters I began to climb the stairs, taking them carefully one at a time. I even counted them as I went so that next time I’d know when I reached the top and not try to step up again, yere, I nearly landed on my face, nearly.
Turning left I ran my hand along the wall until I came to a door. It wasn’t mine so I kept going until I reached another one. Feeling the dent in the door handle I’d caused with a hammer, yes a hammer, when I was thirteen I opened the door to be greeted by a freezing draft of air where my window had been left open, probably since before I went to hospital.
For a second I just stood in the doorway taking everything in, except there was nothing to take in. In my mind I could see my blue and black bedroom with the girly bedcovers covering the double bed and the drawings that covered almost an entire wall and most of my ceiling. I pictured the characters that I’d created and the ones from show’s and books that I’d drawn. I knew above my bed was a huge photo frame with a collage of photos in. And that my book shelf full of books I’d never be able to read again was just to my left.
Reaching out my hand I ran it along the rows and rows of books before I found the wall. I nearly walked into my desk but remembered where it was just in time. There was a slight creaking meaning the doors to my closet were open revealing the untidy mess of clothes within.
Finding my bead I sat down, I put my head in my hands and closed my eyes. Pushing the heel of my hands into my eye sockets I silently prayed that when I opened my eyes this time I’d see light, or darkness, or just something other than nothing. I knew it was hopeless, I knew it was futile but I couldn’t help it. I wanted to see so badly, I wanted my reason for living back so much.
But opening my eyes the only thing I saw was nothing. Always nothing. What was the quote again? The one I’d written down and was stuck above my desk on a sticky note. “Everyone’s going to die, it’s a natural part of life. But if your life has no purpose then your dead already.”
If I could see I’d keep a diary. If I could see I’d write down all those stories that I’d made up for the manga and comic books I’d always wanted to do. But I couldn’t see. I couldn’t write. I couldn’t even find my bloody laptop to type and even if I could how the hell was I supposed to open up a word document to type into, how the hell was I supposed to save it? Or know when it went wrong and jumped lines like it sometimes does.
I didn’t want this to be my life, I didn’t want to just sit here an do nothing but what could I do. Despite everything that Scarlet said I just couldn’t find a positive in my situation.
YOU ARE READING
Blind Blue
Teen FictionWhen seventeen year old Cyan is involved in an accident his whole life changes. Left blind the once artistic, blue haired boy doesn't know what to do with himself. His parents don't seem to care and his friends apparently have their own problems but...
