Blind Blue

Chapter 8

I sat on Kyles bed my head in my hands. I couldn’t believe he said that, it was just, so mean. Didn’t he care at all? Didn’t he at least feel sorry for me? No, of course not. I shouldn’t have even hoped for anything else but the fool I was I’d played right into his hands.

He’d pushed me on to the sofa as he argued with his friends. Listening to why he was being so nice to me, understanding that he didn’t mean a word he said last night and the smile I hurd in his voice was a lie.

Emily wouldn’t even speak to me. I’d tried calling her but she didn’t pick up. I’d so wanted someone to talk to but no, she wasn’t there for me. Then again when had she ever been? If I thought about it hard our friendship had always been rather one sided. Then there was James. He’d at least picked up the phone before telling me to sod off because he was busy. Strange, when I could see and drive they were my best mates.

“Cyan,” Kyle’s voice said from the doorway as the door creaked open.

Shaking my head to try and rid myself of the stupid tears that were threatening to overwhelm me I gave him a cold and rather hard, “What?” as a reply.

“Gee’s what did I do?” he asked almost sarcastically. I hate him I decided, I fucking hate him. He can go burn in hell for all I care.

“Fuck off.” I told him sternly the tears now leaving my eyes and making small trails down my pale face. It wasn’t fair, life wasn’t fair. Why’d he have to be such a jerk, why’d he have to say those things? When I herd him moved towards me I looked up in his direction. “I. Said. Fuck. Off!” I shouted at him before standing up and going to storm out the room. “Actually it’s your room, I’ll leave.”

“For god’s sake Cyan what the hell did I do to you?” He asked grabbing my arm. I turned around to face him absolutely fuming.

“Well after your friends punched me and made fun of me,” I began in the most sarcastic voice I could muster, “You called me a fag. I aint a cigarette, your not blind so you should be able to see that. Said that I was a prick, again thanks I’ll keep that in mind when I talk to people from now on. Said I’d probably rape you in your sleep then blamed me and my parents for your dad marrying Sara because my mum introduced them. You then preceded to call me a slut and man whore, what bit of I AM A VIRGIN don’t you understand? Then laughed when after I tried to defend myself and your friends suggested rapping ME since I’m helpless. Ow and to top it all off you then joined in when they made fun of me for being blind.”

Taking a deep breath I knew he was going to speak but didn’t want to hear it. Calming my voice so that it was nearly a whisper I began to talk again, “Do you think this is easy for me? Is it because I’m not crying over loosing my sight or because I’m trying to get on with my life? Because to be honest with you I hate myself right now, I hate myself and my life and the fact that the only person who really cares about me is stuck in hospital having operation after operation because the doctors aren’t smart enough to figure out what’s wrong so that they can save her life.”

With that I left, not looking back. I wanted so much to go to the hospital and visit Scarlet right now but I knew I couldn’t. Not even bothering to pick up my phone or put on a jacket I went straight out the front door. Once outside I stopped, I just stopped because I was terrified. Scared that now I’d left the house I’d never be able to find it again. I have to do this though, Kyle’s voice drove me forward another step but again I froze. I’ve got to do this. I’ve got to do this.

I cant do this. I cant do this. I went to turn around but ended up stumbling over and landing in a heap on the floor. Tears were still falling down my face as I sat up and just sat there. I must only have been mere metres from the house but I had no idea how to get there or where it was. Stupid, I thought, stupid, stupid, stupid.

“Are you ok?” Someone asked me as hands helped me to my feet. Before I even got a chance to reply to the nice sounding voice Kyle’s interrupted.

“What are you Cyan, stupid?” he yelled probably coming out of the front door. “Do you even know where your going? Do you want Sara to kick my ass?”

I just shrugged, “The only thing you want is for Sara to leave you alone.” I said miserably, all my anger gone now. No point in being around someone who didn’t care. Speaking of which the stranger was still holding my arm.

“Yere I do.” He said. “And if you go wondering out by yourself, with out your phone no less, then she’s gona kill me and then your going to turn up dead or something and she’s gona resurrect me just so she can kill me again so get your ass back indoors.”

I hesitated, not wanting to do what he said but knowing that right now I didn’t have a hell of a choice. “I want to go see Scarlet.” I said with a sigh. “I promised I’d go see her.”

“Yere at the weekend I herd the conversation.” He practically spat. “And who the hell is she to you anyway. You met her a few weeks ago Cyan I’m sure she doesn’t mean that much.”

“Ow fuck you.” I half shouted, all anger coming straight back now, before pushing the hand that was still holding me off and going to walk away. Kyle just grabbed me and yanked me back. He was rougher than the other person, man I think.

“What the hell?” He growled.

For the first time since I’d stepped out the house I looked up from the floor. “Nothing, she’s nothing? She’s the only reason I haven’t broken down before now, the only reason I’m still alive considering I’ve lost everything because of this.” I jabbed a finger towards my eyes pointing them out for everyone but me to see.

“Like I care.” He said as I herd a gasp of shock from the other guy as I was dragged, presumably, into Kyle’s house and forced to sit on the sofa. I felt like some little kid in time out.

~~~

I woke up on the sofa, a blanket had been draped over me and gladly I snuggled into it. Deciding that I couldn’t be bothered to get up right now I settled down to go back to the land of dreams, but just as I was drifting back off into the most peaceful sleep on earth a loud knocking brought me right back to planet awake.

Groaning I rolled over, trying to ignore the annoying sound but it persistently grew louder. Sighing because I knew I wouldn’t be sleeping any more today I got up and walked over to the door. Opening it I said a very un-cheery “good morning and who is it?” giving the person standing the other side of the door a grimace.

“I’m Jay and it’s three in the afternoon.” He said sounding rather amused. I slapped my head with the palm of my hand. Dam, I slept all day. “We, um, met yesterday. You kind of had a panic attack before falling in front of me.”

I nodded my head thinking it through. “Yere, sorry about that. And about Kyle, he’s a bit of a dick thus why we were fighting.” I said to Jay who laughed a little. “So, wana come in?” I opened the door a little wider and felt him brush past me.

“It’s a nice house.” He said making me laugh a little myself.

“Wouldn’t know, never seen it.” I said to him.

“I thought the, um, blind thing was recent?” He asked sounding confused and awkward.

“It is but I don’t live here. My parents are away at the moment and since I nearly set my house on fire Sara, Kyles step-mum, is making me stay here.” I said closing the door. My fingers brushed a piece of paper that was stuck to the handle. Dam, a note? Were people stupid or something, I’m blind you know.

Passing it to Jay to read I began to lead him up the stairs. “It say’s Kyle’s gone out and Sara’s gone to a friends and wont be back till late.” He told me as I walked into Kyle’s room.

Smelling cigarette smoke I immediately went to open a window. “and he call’s me a fag.” I said sarcastically as I lay down on his bed. Reaching over to the desk I felt around for the TV remote. “Want to watch TV?” I asked just glad for the company. I felt the bed dip as he sat down right next to me before the TV turned on. Guess he found the remote.