Para Lang Sa Yo

Uncertain Future

Mas naging mahirap ang mga sumunod na araw.  I was terribly longing for Sarah.. 

There is nothing more than i want than  to talk to her and staright things out.. pinaka mahirap yung hindi mo alam kung nasaan siya at ano nang nangyayari sa kanya.

There were nights that i dreamt of her. She was crying ... just crying... 

Of course hindi lang ang paghahanap ko kay Sarah ang naging problema.

Kim was a constant reminder that one should never hold on to a relationship once its over.

She was very persistent in getting me back... multiple calls, multiple messages... 

She was everywhere. at my house .. my office...

Kim was pushing herself too much that i began to loathe her.

Such a strong word..especially i have loved her once..

i didn't want to feel that way towards her but she pushed me to this.

KIm was desperate enough to threaten me about committing suicide. It was heartbreaking to know she's at the state and  I am aware i am responsible why she turned out like that.

But showing her kindness wouldn't help her move on. Any amount of care i give her she interprets it as love. 

I have got to show her she didn't matter.. and i don't care ... and hope that she realizes i am not worth it.

I blamed myself too. I shouldn't have prolonged her sufferring by being selfish. She is my Karma too.

and Sarah was my saving Grace..

I tried to find another way to find Sarah. I asked around my connections but it seems we have both been living parallel lives. I am turning to be desperate.

i tried to talk to Diether again but he was more evasive.

He didn't give me much choice.

Since he's my only connection to Sarah.. i decided to have him followed . 

I hired somebody to watch his every move , find out where he lives and notify me at any given time when Sarah is around him.

and my plan didn't fail.

it was very late at  night  when the detective called me up and said he was able to follow where he lives.

"Boss, may pumasok na kotse ngayon lang,  ang nagmamaneho babae na nag-match po sa description ni Ms. Sarah, mukhang doon din sya nakatira. " 

"pero mukhang may iba pa pong nakatira doon dahil marami pong sasakyan"

I don't know what went over me..   i couldn't believe it 

the confirmation that Sarah and Diether are indeed living together in on roof  made me feel numb.

still I have to see it for myself...

so i decided to go to their place.

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Literal na nalipad ang kotse ko on my way to their place.  It only took me 10 mins to reach my destination , nagkataon na  malapit din naman ako sa lugar na yun ..

Malakas ang kutob sa gabing yun... there was something that tells i had to be there and see her.............

  My mind was telling me that it was a mistake.  The detective also said "gulo lang dala nyan Gerald"

But Knowing she is inside with him... .........and i am outside ..something i couldn't stand and bear to live with. 

"Sira ulo ka Gerald... ano pa bang ginagawa mo dito...  sasaktan mo lang ang sarili mo...