Para Lang Sa Yo

Her Choices

Sarah,

hindi ako magaling sa ganito... pero sa ganitong paraan ko lang kakayanin sabihin ito sa yo. 

before you i was living a double life. before you i thought i could just go on moving ... and checking... .... and eventually i get cleared ..

before you , i was in the process of doing things right... i was ready to settle for what i thought i deserve...ready to face my sentence for all the mistakes i've done and committed in my life..

but meeting you... knowing you ... and most of all.... loving you

..somehow made me realize ....that the universe was telling me i was forgiven... and allowed to live again..

with you babe i started to dream ....... of our future... and forget my past.

with you i started to forgive myself... that maybe somehow i deserve better.

i  love you Sarah... in short of a time we've known each other i'm sure that i love you 

 i know you complete me...

but i know my past is too much... I saw fear in your eyes last night.. i hear it in your cry...

the same fear i saw weeks ago...  that i was trying to protect you from..... 

and i don't want you to run away...

i don't know how am i going to make you feel safe .. and trust me again...

i can't bear na ako ang dahilan nang takot mo...

 especially what you've been through you..

and i don't know what to do.. i'm afraid that if i try to reach a step to you...you'll get more scared..

.even though it hurts... and i'm sure will regret this for the rest of life...

 i am letting you go ...

 promise me...you'll continue what you have been doing..and don't let me get in your way of being yourself again.

please stay at this house as long as you like..  i promise i won't bother you.

this place means a lot to me ... it's my place of hope , redemption and peace ...

and also a place where I hide my demons so it can be contained. 

hindi kita pinakakawalan dahil sumusuko na ako.. gusto ko lang bigyan ka nang laya pumili...

i know you're meeting your brothers today.

i wanted to be there with you ...but i don't want things to get more complicated..

but If you need me... i'm just a phone call away.

Take care always ... 

i will always love you... ..

i'm yours no matter what...

Gerald 

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"Anak , nakatulog ka ba nang maayos kagabi?" 

"Okay lang yan si Bunso Dad... ang taba na nga nya sa kakatulog eh"