Yaron Mama

Episode 20

Nino was home alone at his aunt's place, Dai'ba had gone back to Lagos the day before since she was done with her I.T, he sat in the living room area, switching through TV stations, nothing particularly interesting on TV. He was really bored, he needed something to do to burn time, he thought about Zibu for a while and then Asma'u and all the quarrels they had all through the previous semester. He chuckled, he remembered an event that occurred last semester, He and Asma'u were suppose to go out, but when he showed up, the caftan top he was putting on was different from the caftan trousers. He dressed up in the dark, so he didn't know when he switched them up. As he sat there thinking, he suddenly remembered his blog, he rushed to the room to get his laptop, he though of what to write but nothing was coming up, he didn't want to take any poem or write up from his stash. He finally got an inspiration from a blog post he saw on one of his favorite blogs.

Dear future wife,

I don't know if you are out there or reading this right now! If you are, please print this letter and bring it to our wedding reception. It will make a good read before our guests and friends.

They say behind every successful man is a woman. I'll like to say that behind every successful man is a good woman because I've seen men that have shut down their businesses because they got involved with the wrong woman. I want to be successful and I need to find you right now more than ever.

You may not know how much I need you but every night before bed i have these stories that I would love to share with someone special. Your slot in my life is so empty it hurts because I know you are out there without me.

I've often imagined how you look. Are you dark or fair in complexion or even chocolatey? pure Hausa or borrowed Hausa? I play around with different images in my head but one thing stands out, I know you are very curvy and by curvy i mean bursty i could careless if you had a smaller backside. i don't joke with my breast, those babies give me chills.

Mum can't wait to meet you and believe me. Since we are talking about mum, I've always prayed for a marriage where my mum and my wife would be best friends. I'll do everything possible to make sure that mum treats you like her daughter. This I promise you.

I still don't know why I'm writing this to you but I guess I was motivated by Morell's song "Ganga da garaya" especially in the verse two where he called things that match together "ganga da garaya, taushe da masa, sarki da phada, arewa da gata" i promise to be your ganga if you be my garaya..

No matter where we are, we must speak to each other every day at noon and have lunch once every week when we are in the same city. I know I'm making all these plans without considering you but I'll be willing to change all or accept any modifications from you even though I pray you love them too.

Is it okay if I tell you certain things about me? I don't hate meat and i also don't like it too, i am not selective when it comes to food but don't give me pounded yam especially with egusi soup, i don't like it. You will know more about me as things unfold.

Kidan zuciyata, I don't know what you don't like but I'm totally against hairnet and wrapper. I can't stand both either in the kitchen or in the bedroom. I would have said that the maximum cloth size you are allowed to get to is 10 but that may sound superficial.

I'm from plateau state, "Ron-Kulere" specifically and we take care of our wives. I'll work hard to make sure you don't go hungry for one day till your dieing day. I'll let you decide the number of kids we'll have but I don't think 4 kids will be bad idea and together we can make a happy family of six.

It's 03:13 A.M Sunday December 28th, 2014 and I know you are somewhere out there and it does not matter if you are in another man's arms, when I do meet you, I promise never to let you go. I promise to take care of you, provide you with all the reasonable good things of life that my money can buy.