Herbs and Spices // snowbaz

the time the bathroom was occupied

If Baz wasn't out of the bathroom in 2 seconds, Simon was going to knock the door down. Actually, screw knocking it down, he was going to tear it off it's hinges. We're talking disintegrating solid wood, splintering the very frame. Watford probably wouldn't be too happy with him compromising the structural integrity of his dormroom but fuck it. 

"Basil, I have been waiting for," Simon glanced down at his wrist, even though he knew he never had a watch there (wishful thinking), "an obscenely long time. I have things to do today too, you know?"

"Snow, I know for a fact that you have nothing to do. Besides, patience is a virtue," Baz's snide response was cut off by Simon's growl.

"That's it, you insufferable pain in the ass."
And then the door was being opened, (Simon mentally blamed Baz for not locking the door in the first place) and Simon was gliding in, heartbeat echoing in his ears.

Baz stuck his head out from behind the shower curtain, his hair sticking up in foamy peaks, "What the fuck are you doing, Snow?"

"I'm using MY bathroom," Simon busied himself with putting toothpaste on the head of his brush, avoiding Baz's heated glare in the mirror (even though he could feel it piercing his skin like a hot knife.)

"It's our bathroom, and don't think I won't risk expulsion to kick your ass for this."

"How the tables have turned, Basil! Wasn't it your bathroom for the 45 minutes you've been in here, while I've been waiting outside? And I hardly doubt you'd want to be literally forced out of our dorm naked," Simon pretended to hum thoughtfully, "for some reason I doubt you want that to be your legacy." He huffed out a half-laugh, disbelief circling through his body as he momentarily remembered how strange this situation really was.

"Arguing with me doesn't get me out of this shower quicker, does it Snow?" Despite the rising flush in Baz's cheeks, his voice remained playful. (There was a temporary mental war raging in his head, 'What the fuck are you doing Pitch, flirting with him while you're naked?!')

Simon began brushing his teeth, harsh hands back and forth, scrubbing gums (way too hard). Simon was acting cool (he was bloody trying to anyway), but it was adrenaline and anger and annoyance that had stormed him in here, but now, well Merlin his hands were starting to shake and it was getting harder and harder to avoid his thoughts going to Baz standing behind that thin curtain.

Baz wasn't doing much better; his mind was spinning frantic circles around whether the curtain was see-through and whether he could successfully kill Snow without letting him see him naked. The steam wasn't helping his head spinning, he could barely see Snow's outline at the sink and he simultaneously ached for him to be closer, and wished him out of the room. 'Don't think about Snow joining you in this bloody shower. For Merlin's sake, let me out of this room, and situation, safely without my heart bursting out of my chest.'

"You know I'll kill you for this, Snow." Baz hoped the wavering in his voice couldn't be heard to his roommate.

"Let it be a lesson to you." Simon yearned for Baz not to hear the blood pounding in his body.

"What? Kill Snow before he can invade my privacy? I won't make that mistake again, let me assure you."

Simon laughed, despite himself, and turned to leave the room, pausing to speak over his shoulder. "Take less time in the bathroom, you twat."

**************

oooooh I love fighting snowbaz! I live for it! I love angsty fights that are undercut with so much sexual tension it hurts me slightly hahah -- anyway, hello again, I'm so glad to be back (and so soon! how weird that is.)

I want to thank you for reading this, and idk just thank you thank you thank you. 

also, if you're anything like me, and you like this collection of oneshots and headcanons and all the things about snowbaz; I'm thinking of starting a VERY similar book like Herbs and Spices, except about the Harry Potter world! expect lots of drarry and wolfstar but also some dramione and romione and hinny and jily and all the things because I love most ships in the hp world (except anything involving snape... anyway!) - look out for that, and please check it out if you're interested (when I finally publish something from it!)