Back In Black- Book 2

Chapter 34

As i laid looking at the ceiling, trying to catch my breath I couldn't get my emotions under control. I was mad about earlier events, i was happy and my body was on cloud nine, and i had regret over what just happened. Did i just make a mistake and mess up my plan? Or will it push my plans along?

As much as i want to have my revenge, there's moments where i want to stop and be honest. Either way i feel like his heart wont be the only one to be broken in the end, especially after what just happened between us.

When Cole put his hands on his hips to steady me, something just came over me. It was like he was my only way to take my mind off of things. Punching Hannah after what she did and working out did nothing. Even now i feel like going for a run again because in a way i feel worse.

Cole draped his arm over my bare torso and pulled me against his chest. Immediately i tensed up but i allowed the contact.

"What are you thinking about beautiful?" His voice was still husky and it was sexy i cant lie.

"Nothing much." Talking about my feelings wasn't easy for me and Cole wasn't the person i should be talking to about it either.

"Still not one for talking i see." He chuckled and kissed my temple. "Maybe you'd like to know that you aren't expelled anymore."

"What!?" I flipped around to look at him in disbelief. "He made it loud and clear that i was expelled."

Cole had the biggest smirk I'd ever seen on his face. I gave him the best 'you better not be messing with me' face i could muster up. His smirk still didn't falter. I swear to God if he's messing with... "I made a few things loud and clear to him and he said one week suspension with no more fights."

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" Without thinking i kissed him. I pulled back and blushed. "Sorry!"

Cole shook his head and laughed at me. "Don't apologize love. If i knew thats all i had to do for you to kiss me, id have done it the first time you were suspended."

My blush deepened especially with his intimate gaze. The way he is currently looking at me takes my breath away. He's looking at me like I'm the most beautiful thing he's ever seen and I don't know if I'm ready for that. At the same time i like that Cole looks at me like that. Is that wrong?

Ugh why must things be complicated and than i make it worse for myself.

"Want to tell me why you attacked Hannah this morning?" I rolled to my back and glared at the ceiling because i knew this was coming.

"Not really. Stupid, petty, brainless whore! Ugh!!" I was getting even more riled up.

"I think you owe me some sort of explanation sunshine." I redirected my glare at him.

"Fine." I huffed. "This morning i went down the garage to get in my mustang and the word 'slut' was spray painted across it in pink! Pink! On my classic car! She was dumb enough to break in and do it in-front of a camera!" I could have kept ranting but i was out of breath. My body was breaking out in hives i was so mad and it's embarrassing to say the least.

"Are you kidding me? Wrecking your hair was bad enough but your car?? She can't get it through her thick skull I'm not hers. Im sorry Kenz, maybe now that we are a thing she will back off."

My whole body tensed up. Together? I never even thought of that being the outcome of us sleeping together. Sure the goal was to get him to fall for me but I don't want a relationship. Well i do but i don't. I can't love the person who hurt me, without breaking his heart. Sure he's changed a lot but still. But i also cant break his heart and hurt him without breaking my own heart. Either way I'm damned if i do and damned if i don't. My family was right but my own desire for revenge blinded me.

Some where i lost sight of my goals but along the way I've learned a lot about my self. Even though my mind is reeling with regret i still want to mess with him some more. That must sound horrible and make me seem mentally unstable. Sometimes I still remember how miserable and angry i used to be and it over whelms me. More often than not i have to make my self step back and look at how far I've come because of people who love me. Without my family none of this would be possible. Sometimes i wish i could start over and plan things out better but even then there would be unseen struggles to work around.

No matter what happens i have to live with the outcome of my actions.