orphans - JJP

chapter 18

(Jinyoung POV)

I feel cold sweat running down  my face. It was right after Jaebeom hyung asked me about killing other people. I hope he didn't notice my nervousness. I answered him after calming down my uneven heartbeat.

I succeed calming myself down and of course trying to hard not to sweat. Then Jaebeom hyung confessed to me. What. Just. Happened. I just died. I almost forget the intention of me agreeing to meet him today. Even though I'm happy meeting him today I just really have to --with an unwilling heart-- do what I promised my brothers.

-- three days earlier --

Youngjae barge in my room and call me out to have a talk. We've been in this somewhat cold war ever since I found out they put a tracker on me. Also ever since that incident our team work fall apart a little bit more than i expected it to be. Thus, leaving few mistakes on the killing. Based on my judgement the polices wouldn't be able to spot the mistakes. I hope.

Therefore, Youngjae has been blaming himself all day. He said that it's his fault for accidentally left his black mask at out apartment. Then on the second murder scene Youngjae failed to turn off the generator making us have to go back straight home without killing for our safety.

This could be our downfall. And i realise that its because of me not coordinating well with them. Of course because of that tracker incident once again.

There are many failure in our mission and I just really hope the clues we left couldn't be found.

After that I told Youngjae and BamBam that I will make this right. Our relationship, thus, I decided to stop meeting Jaebeom. It has been a while since I last meet him. I know he's been busy with the investigation and all. I just hope he didn't do my case.

-- present --

I know that he will ask to meet me again. I was so happy yet I already promised my brother not to meet him again. But they said I can go and told him directly that we shouldn't meet.

So here I am. Standing like a statue after his confession. I don't know should I be happy or not. I love him. So much. But we just can't be together.

"No, I mean it's not just the eyes. I love you Jinyoung." Jaebeom said.

My heart stop beating for a while. I tried to regain my composure.

"I-I don't think you know what you're saying hyung."

"Jinyoung, trust me. This time let make it right. I don't want to lose you again. I love you. I really mean it."

"No we can't be together hyung!" I whisper screamed.

"Jinyoung. Please give me a chance I promise not to broke my promises like I used to do."

"I- I don't love you the same way, hyung." I have to lie. I just have to. It hurts me but it's okay. I'm used to being hurted.

Jaebeom hyung went silent. There is a hint of tears in Jaebeom hyung's eyes. I feel really bad. I want to kill myself at the moment for breaking his heart this way. I know it's for the best. I also know I still have to finish my promise.

"Let's not meet again, hyung."

I just said it. Now I will just go away. Turning my back on Jaebeom. Act like nothing ever happen. Act like we never meet before. And be professional on my work make my brothers proud.

I walked away leaving the stoned Jaebeom. I turn my face away from him. Fat tears running down my face. I swear I can't do this. I ran. I ran away. Fast. As fast as I could. I don't even turn back to see if Jaebeom hyung still there waiting for me or has he return home.

It was a cold night. For a cold soul. And a cold end.

I rushed to my apartment closing the door. Youngjae was out with his friends because today was that one normal day of no killing at all.

Bam Bam heard me closing the door with a loud bang comes out of his room and saw me crying for the first time. I never cried ever since I left the orphanage. I didn't even cry when I made my first murder. I just hate to admit the fact that I love Jaebeom so much that it affects me this much.

"I loved him Bam.. I really do." I confessed.

"I know hyung, we all know" Bam comes towards me and give me a comforting hug. "But you know hyung your relationship is too risky."

"I know. I told him not to meet again."

Bam Bam pats my back. He made me a hot chocolate to calm my nerves. I then walk in to my room to rest, hoping I could wake up tomorrow realizing that this is all a dream. Where I would wake up tomorrow and I know I am not a murderer, that Jaebeom hyung still loves me, and so I can tell that our feelings are mutual.

I hope all the things could get well, i hope that YoungJae and Bam Bam are not murderers either. And the three of us could live the happy life we wanted. I hope that we were not adopted by a psycopath who turn child into a killing machine. I hope that we could have choices. I hope that I could just woke up tomorrow and everything went back to the way it used to be. When I was bullied because of my eyes. Before I was praised because of the masks I used.

But of course. It was just a hope. Not every hope comes true. Especially when you are a damned sinful murderer.

(Jaebeom POV)

I was left in the park. Dumbfounded. Of course Jinyoung wouldn't have the same feeling as I do. I watched him walking away. I didn't even realize that my tears escaped already. I really don't want to go home. So I sat on the bench again. Hoping that Jinyoung would come back and change his mind.

Well, why do I hope for the impossible. I looked up at the lonely night sky. It's just really wasn't a good day. The sky was dull. No stars at all.

I walked back home. Jackson is out with Mark. I get in my room and flopped down my bed. Even the bed feels hard today. My eyes are heavy not because lack of sleep. I just got my heart broken for the first time. No I had experienced multiple heart break in the past but none hurt me this much. This much that I was thinking about how to stop my heart from hurting.

I was forcing myself to sleep when i received a phone call. I look at the caller ID hoping it would be Jinyoung apologizing. But no, its not him. It's my senior. I really don't have the energy to answer but it would be rude, so i answered it anyway.

"Jaebeom, there is something interesting you must see. Come to the office tomorrow at 8 a.m."

Hello sorry it took a long time to update. I was thinking of making new books since this one was near to end. What do you guys think? Do you want a new jjp story? Hehe anyway love you readers 💕💕~